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And now for part three of my tale of adventure:

So, as I said before, I was attacked. It was Dastardly Dan, my mortal enemy! He had caught me off gaurd with a sneak-giant-tire-to-the-head attack. But I bounced back from the ambush and pulled out my over-sized TV remote and pinned him under it.
"I have no time for this," I explained to my foe, "I have to get these orphans some food before they die of starvation and sadness."
But the villian didn't care about the well-being of these young children as I had. He tried to whack me with his weapon again, but I dodged it just in time. I saw that he wasn't going to listen to reason, so I had to resort to using my penultimate weapon...

(Don't you just love cliff-hangers?)