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Ryosha's Ramblings

	Fractured Fairy Tale
	Fractured Fairy Tale


Ryosha24 · Sun Dec 04, 2005 @ 12:49am · 3 Comments


Ryosha24 Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [03/28/07 11:05pm] [03/27/07 12:59am] [03/11/07 03:57pm] [02/26/07 01:53am] [02/14/07 08:01pm] [02/14/07 12:56am] [02/10/07 03:05am] [12/08/06 02:15am] [12/16/05 04:08pm] [12/04/05 12:49am]

	User Comments: [3]
	User Comments: [3]


	Hmm...that was pretty cool. A different take on it, if I've ever seen one. What inspired you to write this? Also, for some reason, every apostrophe you may have had has turned into a question mark, and it's rather distracting. All in all, wonderful, though Snow White's personality was greatly different than her's in the movie. Now, I don't remember - did the queen actually die by an arrow? I thought she fell off a cliff... Ah well. I'd look it over for grammar mistakes, but that's really all I could catch. Congrats! ~Hikari_K Offline Hikari_K · Community Member · Fri Feb 09, 2007 @ 04:59am


	yes, unfortunately, Gaia sometomes messes up the puntuation, especially quotes and apostrophes, so look out for that when you start posting things. I haven't really looked at this in a while.... let's see... I wrote it in Creative Writing I as a fractured fairytale we had to write. The idea just kind of popped into my head, so... yeah. Offline Ryosha24 · Community Member · Fri Feb 09, 2007 @ 11:54pm


	Wow, I love it! ^^ Ever read Snow? Good book. Although it favors Snow White in it, it still puts a twist on the main story. In the last line, you put "toke" instead of "took" and you forgot closing quotation marks on the end of "Is that an apple in your pack?" Aside from minor mistakes like that, it is really good. Perhaps you could have the Queen answering herself when talking to the mirror, so the maid thinks there is someone there? ^_^ Great work. Offline Samiya_Yume · Community Member · Thu Oct 25, 2007 @ 10:41pm

	User Comments: [3]
	User Comments: [3]

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