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Silverhand's random stories and poems that need to be expressed :P I plan to start a storie if i hav time and stuff, and also poems and junk SO be ready for randomness-ish stuff


Silverhand94
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4 comments
Chapter 1, A Strange Compainon
Cylestie Forest Edge
After running far enough into the forest that his mother could not track him, Thorne set up camp as it was still dark enough to stay under the cover of night. After he set up camp he thought about his decision even though he knew that once he left the forest he woulndnt be able to return for quite a long time... he put that out of his mind for now.
Once he settled down, sleep slpwly crept over him, and as the sounds of the night began to dim, one sound seemed to get louder, the sound of a steel on ivory, a battle. Thone knew that different demons lived near the edge of the forest, but he never saw one, only heard of them from his brother and sister. He rose to his feet and grabbed his bow and jumped into a tree near the clearing, and saw a strange sight; a woman fighting a demon of great propotions!
She was to tall to be a girl and strong enough to be about middle aged, she wore a long black cloak, black shirt and pants, black boots, and glack gloves. Her black hair had a shock of silver in the front, and the strangest part of all was her weapon. She branded a two-handed claymore with one hand, and the way she moved, she seemed to be faster than most elves. The battle seemed to be leaning toward the demon, but in one swift move, she slashed the demon from head to torso and killed it. After it fell, the woman brought out a small, ivory bottle and filled it with the demons blood, and drank it. Thorne had only heard of these creatures in myths, and legends. She was a vampire! twisted
Thorne thought that he was safe, but then rememebered that he was part human and the vampire still looked hungery.... Out of no where a knife, the size of a nail, stuck Thorne to the tree from his shirt. Try as he might, he couldnt remove it. The next thing Thorne knew was that there was a woman next to him in all black. Then realizing his mistake, the young elf realized he was next. The woman looked at him and then pulled out the knife and said something under her breath which sounded like an insult to Thorne. Being insulted so often, Thorne took offense.
"What did you say!"
"I said your too curious for your own good" She responded.
"Oh... um... PLEASE DON'T KILL ME" Thorne started to beg for his life, knowing that it wouldn't do him any good.
"I'm not here to kill you" she said, "I'm here on my own business".
As she said this she pulled out a scrap of paper, looked at it, then put it away.
"Looks like your coming with me" the vampire said. With that Thorne met the vampire Gabrielle.





User Comments: [4]
Dinosawrs Tell Me Rawrrr
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comment Commented on: Thu Feb 05, 2009 @ 02:34am
u kno that ivory is bone, right?

anywayz, i likes it!


comment Commented on: Sat Feb 07, 2009 @ 10:50pm
Ivory is bone-colored.
He prolly means an opaque, off-white colored bottle.
Amiright?
sweatdrop



misslovelyness
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iSkaterBelle
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comment Commented on: Sat Feb 07, 2009 @ 10:51pm
Corrections for you again:
couldn't
wouldn't
IMPROPER USE OF ELLIPSES!
slowly
Thorne
clearing and saw a strange sight: a woman fighting a demon of great proportions!
too tall
a young girl
middle-aged
aged. She wore
remembered
hungry
couldn't
What did you say?!
good,
IMPROPER ELLIPSES AGAIN!
to kill you,
business."
coming with me,
With that Thorne had met the vampire Gabrielle.

There you are. smile


comment Commented on: Sun Feb 08, 2009 @ 05:07am
lol belle is taking care of grammer so id thought id add a comment on the wiritng itself. i think the plot is good but its alittle impersonal because its being said from a narrater view. my tip would be to do it from thorns view so you can put what he is thinking and include more conversations to also get a feel of the characters more. so far i cant realy tell waht anyones persoanlity is like. also stronger verbs. like instead of "she seemed to be faster than most elves" you could say " her movements were swifter and more fluid than that of elves". or something like that. again great plot detail but need more warmth to it ninja



snowfire93
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User Comments: [4]
 
 
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