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My oldest rat Pippin died today... and I wasn't here for it. Worse yet his death wasn't an easy one. Normally if a rat is on the way out and not having fun anymore, I'll have it put down but Pip didn't give me any clue

He sacred me once by sneezing blood everywhere as a young rat and this time he's done it again... only this time it was permanent and fatal. He's sad to look at as he's blood from his nose to half way down his belly. His all his paws are covered in it from where he's tried to clean himself. I mean... I knew he wasn't well but I didn't know he was that unwell.

This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not the sort of thing I need right now. I've got some sort of head cold or sinusitis and it's really knocking me about. I practically living on the herbal pill things I brought and if I skip one it's instant nausea... just before the train pulled out no less. Bad timing my bod but I was able to aim most of it onto the tracks rather than the platform or the train for which I'm grateful. even so, I don't want to do that again. hell of a way to head towards new years and I'm hanging for the doctors to open up again. fecking holidays.

Anyway, I'm going to have to find somewhere to bury my poor brave lad that won't get dug up cause we're planting stuff and he deserves somewhere nice. Still, it wasn't on my list of stuff I wanted to do tomorrow. sad crying