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I KNOW, OK?
I can't belive I did it either, but it had been sitting in my head for a long time and it finally came out.
...BLAME VIRAL...OR SIMON. HECK, BLAME KAMINA. JUST DONT BLAME ME.
8D;;

right~ read and review and ON WIZ ZE FICCCCCCCCCCCcccccccccccccccc
...finals, lol.

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Jailhouse Rock

Simon sat in his dark, dreary jail cell, not sure of the what, who, why or how of the situation. All he knew that it was sometime late night and that everyone around him was still awake—he could feel their eyes on him! It was driving him insane—then again, the whole situation was driving him up the wall.

The situation was this:

A) He was in a jail cell. He was a hero up until a few days ago, and now he was in a jail cell. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

B) Viral was in the jail cell next to him. WHY WHY WHY?

C) Nia. WHY did Nia go bad? What happened? It didn’t make sense!

His train of thought circled mainly around the last point and got to the other two when it was tired of thinking about point C.

So, right now, he was thinking about point C.

The more he thought about it, the more and less it made sense. Nia was never like that. EVER. So, what happened?

One part of his mind spoke up, saying that Nia might be PMS-ing. Another part of his mind, apparently the decent part, squawked that it is something bad to think about and how dare Simon even do so? The first part—the brazen one—snorted, and said that Nia might be pregnant then. The decent part sputtered and stuttered and was in shock at how brazen that was, and that he and Nia never ever did anything bad, thank-you-very-much! Then the brazen part of his mind said something along the lines of “riiight,” and the two started to argue. Then a third part of his mind came in and yelled at the other two parts to SHUT UP!, and then all three parts started to argue so loud that Simon just wanted to scream out loud, but everyone was already staring at him and that really wouldn’t help his case!

So he sat there, holding his head and looking depressed and 100% sure that he was losing it while the argument went on and on and on in his head. It went on for who knows how long before a new part of his mind popped up and started singing, “Do Do Do Do Doooo~ .”

This effectively stopped all other parts of his mind mid-argument and caused them all to ask the fourth part what was he high off of. The fourth part smiled charmingly (apparently, his mind can smile at itself) and stated that they all must be deaf if they can’t hear the music going on. This made Simon think that he really was crazy since one part of his mind was calling him and the other three parts deaf, and the fact that he was actually personalizing all four parts of his mind. Either way, he started to be aware to his surroundings, and was surprised that there was actual noise now, and that no one was staring at him anymore.

The noise would have been loud and obnoxious and just plain dumb if it wasn’t for the fact that it was rhythmic. There were all types of clanking, thumping, and who-knows-what being made all in a rhythmic fashion that gave off a sense of melancholy and sadness and loneliness and Simon thought he was nuts because music (or whatever this was) couldn’t do that to people, did it?

Simon and three parts of his mind kept quiet and listened. The fourth part, the artistic and vocal one, started singing something along the lines of women being the source of all heartaches and problems. This caused the third part of his mind (the troublemaker) to snap and jump the fourth part and try to strangle him to death, which, in turn, caused the brazen part to cheer on the troublemaker while the decent part to be appalled and shocked and try to pry him away from the singing part of his mind.

Suddenly, a voice—a sad, clear voice—cut through everything as it started singing,

“The warden threw a party in the county jail…
The prison band was there and they began to wail…”

The voice was singing the song in a sad, slow fashion, turning it into something soul ripping and right down depressing. This made the four parts of his main suddenly disappear (or settle down, Simon didn’t know and didn’t care) as he paid attention (the parts of his mind did so too, if they hadn’t disappeared).

“The band was jumpin’ and the joint began to swing….
You should’ve heard those knocked out jailbirds sing….”

The voice was SO SAD and Simon had to resist not bursting into tears and being all 10-year-old again.

“Let’s rock, everybody, lets rock…
Everybody in the whole cell block…
Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock…”

For some reason the noise was perfectly befitting the song and the voice and suddenly the world stopped making sense and Simon didn’t care because he was sure he heard someone crying from somewhere and life was suddenly sarcastically perfect. Simon suddenly wanted to punch the person nearest to him—shame there was a wall between them.

“Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone…
Little Joe was blowin’ on the slide trombone…”

It was with the thought of wanting to punch someone leading to the thought that Viral was in the jail cell next to him that brought the realization of pure horror that it was Viral who was singing and where did he get so good?

“The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang…
The whole rhythm section was the purple gang….”

Simon was paying more attention than ever now; the only thought in his mind was, What?

“Let’s rock, everybody, lets rock…
Everybody in the whole cell block…
Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock…”

Simon suddenly felt a feeling of dreadful familiarity wash over him as he thought, I know this song.

“Number forty-seven said to number three…
You’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see…”

The brazen part of Simon’s mind snickered and said that Viral might be hitting on Simon. This rewarded him with a punch from the other three parts of his mind with a, Don’t even think about it.

“I sure would be delighted with your company…
Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me….”

Suddenly Simon remembered where he heard this song before—Kamina used to sing it. Kamina’s version was much more upbeat and crazy. Kamina used to sing it often when he was in thrown in jail, and Simon could remember hearing it echo throughout the whole town.

“Let’s rock, everybody, lets rock…
Everybody in the whole cell block…
Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock…”

He remembered Kamina singing it once in their hideout. He was doing it in such a wild way, singing it on top of his lungs and doing something he called an air git-ar. Simon thought that the air git-ar made Kamina look funny, but Kamina thought it was cool and that was that.

“The sad sack was a sittin on a block of stone…
Way over in the corner weepin all alone….”

That afternoon, Simon remembered, everyone he met asked him if Kamina was in jail again…

“The warden said, hey, buddy, don’t you be no square...
If you can’t find a partner use a wooden chair….”

This…this version was sad…

“Let’s rock, everybody, lets rock…
Everybody in the whole cell block…
Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock…”

Suddenly, the decent part of his mind came with the realization of Where does Viral know this song from? Simon couldn’t agree more, because he didn’t remember Kamina ever singing this song ever when anyone was around, except Simon…and the whole village…

Ok, so that point was moot.

“Shifty Henry said to Bugs, for heaven’s sake…
No one’s lookin’, now’s our chance to make a break…”

And wasn’t Kittan whistling it often too? Simon clearly remembered a few instances where Kittan whistled this very well that even Yoko was impressed.

Speaking of Yoko, she hummed this song too…

“Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said, nix nix…
I wanna stick around a while and get my kicks...”

Ok, so the whole world knew the song. Big deal. That just meant that another thing Kamina did wasn’t as unique as Simon saw him, which life that much more miserable.

“Let’s rock, everybody, lets rock…”

Suddenly, the first three parts of his mind erupted into negative thoughts. The brazen part was wishing for Viral’s death. The decent part was grieving over Kamina (again), and the third part was telling Simon to hang himself with his pants (which actually seemed plausible). The fourth part was quiet; either had fallen asleep or killed by the troublemaking part of his mind. Simon suspected the latter.

“Everybody in the whole cell block…”

“Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock…”

Suddenly, as it all started, it all stopped, and the three remaining parts of his mind were aghast as Simon had spoken out loud. He finished the last part of the song and everyone was staring at him, even Viral. Simon hadn’t even realized that he’d spoken, and was in shock and just as aghast as the three parts of his mind, but he kept a solid, depressed demeanor on the outside. Nonetheless, Viral give him a really hard look before the clanking and the thwomping and the stomping started up again as he concluded,

“Was dancin’ the jailhouse rock…”

The song ended and all was quiet once more. And, once more, all eyes were on Simon. But he wasn’t paying any attention; all that he could think of was the past, the sad memories, and what had landed him in jail. He even had death row coming up.

…Maybe tomorrow, he would sing the whole song himself.

…That’d show Viral, at least.

Or maybe do a duet, the forth part of his mind suddenly spoke up. The three other parts of his mind, plus Simon, instantly punched him down with a, Don’t even think about it.

Having finally punched someone (or something), life suddenly made a little sense again, and Simon was finally able to fall asleep, waiting for the day that life would be perfectly sensible again.
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END.
Comedy and angst rolled into one...I'm good.
=w=
BLACK INK AND BLACK BUGS PPLZ!
and thanks to all who gave me some~
<333