dangit
srsly, like it sux when you life is perfect, or at least you see it as perfect cause you dont have anything wrong going on. In a way i can thank my parents cause theve sheltered me (tried to) for most of my life so i wouldnt have any problems. But the problem is si by not doing so, its really made my introverted, and i hate it. Srsly its taken so many fun things out of my life because there so worried about everything. Instead of encouragement its like, oh do this, and do this, and its like i know they want the best for me, but sometimes its like ok, but ask me first, or at least lte me ask you guys for help. Its like I appeciate it, but you guys are like communists. You guys help me out when i need it, but also stop me from expiriencing life, and its not that you stop me, its you have harped on me for stuf for so long its like you guys are following me around so im like socially awkward all the time cept to people i know n trust.
its like i could go to people and be like hey, and im like this fun cool guy, but in a room full of people im like mr. please dont see me. n it makes me uncompfortable, its like i wish you guys would just be like "hey, i trust you to do stuff, so if you want to do it go for it. Even for the crazy ideas, Srsly sometimes its not that i would ever do some of them, but you could at least support me, or be like yea, we'll do this, if you do that. But its like school/no life video games online game ryan. It sux, when im out im like fun cool likes to laugh, make others laugh ryan. Makes others feel good, tries to do the right thing, try to moderate ryan. But at home im like a fripin pupie. its like, oh yea, gotta get ryan to his school, so he can get good grades. gotta get ryan to this because he seemed to show an interest in it.
Like srsly i dont usualy brag or anything, But im pretty much on the genious level, im not just like stupid, i know how to do stuff, but what i hate is that my parents invertivly dont trust me cause they dont trust anyone. Srsly im basically following in their footsteps , specially my dads, who is like mr, im macho when he's just a bum most of the time. I mean he's a good dad, but he's not really a fauther fauther type of guy, he's more like an enforcer/ tryies to be cool guy. It just sux, he's like oh look out for your interests, but niether of them support me n my thoughts. So just like they do im like whatever, i just wont tell you guys, n when i do its suually just to my mom when im ranting about one thing for like 30 min, it bites,
its like i just feel angry, n like im being treated like a child, but not so much because i'm innmature, but its beacuse theyve treated me like im one for so long its bassically become true,
I keep on wanting to be like Im ALMOST FRIKIN 18, srsly, im almost an adult,
i graduated HS, n my dads like oh real world next year
well, heres what i think
There is no f**king real world,
srsly im pretty good when it comes to bs stuff, im pretty mechanically adept and psychologically smart.
stop with this real world crap
The real world bassically means on your own. Yea, if im at home for college Im NOT on my own, im with you still, its not that real world THATS CRAP!
So when i graduate n get a school cousouling degree, and im working n paying loans, thats not the real world, so thats crap, i do that untill i retire
so wheres the fking real world
srsly, working isnt even that bad, hell, even hard work that gets stranious after some time, it even isnt the real world cause you can progress,
its only the real world when you dont progress, when you an a**, when your boss is stressing you out, well hey, if you dont like your job quit, but you got a fammily and kids to feed on one budget, so you must put up with it untill you stress out n shoot yourself then you wife n kids gotta pick up the peaces living out of a homeless shelter, n cause you left your wife becomes a prostitute n your kids gotta join gangs to survive the streets. Eventually your wife dies from cances or a virus, n your kids are all fked up, n everything is going down hill
soo, point there, real world= not giving yourself options,
im flexible i give myself options, so fk your real world, this is my real world, dont pull me down with your o"oh in the real world" crap, cause thats what it is crap
ah!
anyway, as for me, im fine, just tired of spending so much time inside,
on the plus side of things i did some mo band practice with pulse the youth worship band @ my church, so i may play with them soon, maybe, idk, i gotta go hang out with joey so we can practice a bunch before i just do it
speaking of which, i think im gettign guitar far more in the last 4 months since i got my electric than i ever did on the crappy 100$ acoustic, moral of story ibanez rg>crappy guitar that doesnt have a real web page for there stuff(basswood)
not to mention the action is so sweet on that ibanez, its like epic, and its a white guitar so it looks frippin sweet, google ibanez rg 350 dx wh, or something like that
as for love life, no love for the ryan, my ex she broke up with looservillfaceguy, guy from like 2-3 posts ago, and im glad, cause i know he was a looser,
n she's like hey take me back, but i honestly cant right now, like i want to so bad, but it took me forever to get over her, how much is it going to be the next time, and its long distance, how are we supposed to have a relatioship long dist if thats what she didnt want when she broke up with me on myspace the first time for. srsly, AND, the part that i didnt like most bout that is she tells me right after i hang up,
which, not to toot my own horn, i am a nice n sweet guy so breaking up could be hard to do in person, but srsly, just be like hey, i dont think this is going to work out right now, were long dist whatev
n i'd just be like allright, i guess if that is what you feel is best,
but no, it doesnt work that way *sigh*, me n my silly ideas of having a perfect world
but srsly, i mostly dont want to because i dont wan to be tied down, it was fun, but theres others i like now (hasnt been working out for me much, but hey -.-, its worth a shot, speaking of which i gotta get one girls hpone # again, but I will def see her @ school in college this year anyhow
as for other girl, i was gunna ask her out today, but she's gunna be at anime con for prolly untill i leave to go to WA for 3 weeks agr
But the suckiest part
I MISSED 2 FKING PARTIES
srsly my parents are such cheap asses, srsly they got rid of our call waiting so people dont call em back cause the line is busy n there is no switching lines or anythign,
But here's the funny part, they keep call blocking, wtf is up with that, so people can see who is calling,
and ironically i hate leaving messages
ARG!, im like so pissed, not like now, but in my mind for this stuff for the last so many days, its just like ahg
and im retaking this test thing which i need to get sleep for speaking of which but i got all this crap on my mind n stuff , so im spending like what freakin 30 min an hour typing all this stuff
well, this is OFFICALY, the longest of my journal posts ever, so if anyone reads this, and doesnt think im a whiner, srsly ocmment this post,
DOES ANYONE READ THIS CRAP?
ninja
Ryan_The_Random Community Member 
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