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~A letter from me to you~


To my princess,


I'll be honest with myself... I'll be honest with everyone...
The truth is... I've been a liar all this time...

I lied that I've been feeling okay all this time.
I lied that I was able to move on.
I lied that I was finally able to make a move.
I lied that I was able to forget everything.
I lied that I even fell in love with someone like you.


Actually, it's hard. Being a liar is hard.. All
I do is hide the truth and probably run all the time...
It's also hard to make a choice. It's hard to choose something
that will make everyone happy. I was given a choice...
Will it be you or will it be her? I chose you.

I'm not sure if I'm happy. Or maybe I am..
I don't even know if I can... Because, at the end of the day,
even if we had the best laughs we could ever have, I still
get hurt for thinking about the things that will happen next.

At first, I thought you didn't even care about me...
Most of the time... I even feel that all we can be are just friends.
Maybe were just meant to be like that...
What more can I expect? I'm just someone with a computer that
you get to talk to through messages. I'm just someone that keeps
you company thanks to the internet. I'm "just" an online boy.

You once told me that you're just an online girl.
After seeing that, It felt like I was stabbed by a knife.
I've thought of it as a lie... But lies shouldn't hurt a liar like me.
So, it's not a lie after all. To me you're not "just" an online girl.
But I asked myself... What am I to you? Just an online boy, maybe.

I don't want things to be this way anymore...
I want to change. I don't want to lie... I want to tell the truth.
I have to change, it's not just for you. Not just for me.
Not just for "her." But, for everyone else.

I'll have to do this alone. You can let go of my hand now.
I'll walk by myself. I don't know if I'll be able to come back.
I don't know if I still want to look for you.

"She" said I deserve someone else's 2nd and last... you know..
I'll have to use this line, too. But only a little different.


"Someone else deserves you. I know you'll find someone better
than me. I just wish that he'll love you as much as I do."


We had a fight the other day, right? I guess we weren't really
okay after all. Give them a chance. They deserve it. You already
know what I"m talking about.

I'll be saying goodbye. You can erase me in your friend list
if you want... But, I guess that will be useless, 'cause you
know my name anyway. So, do this instead. You can erase me in your heart.

I know I'm being a jerk right now... Well I have to be a jerk
just to do this. I have to be a jerk just to make some things
go to their places.


I'm sorry... Please forgive me.
If you don't want to, it's okay.
Thanks for being kind. Thank you for loving me.
You'll forget me someday.


Before I end this message... I just want to say that
the day when I said "I love you" was never a lie.
I'll say it again, for the last time.
I love you, Goodbye.


"You'll still be my princess."

~ serpert ~