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Okay, as crazy corny as that sounds, it's true. It was the weirdest dream I've ever had, and I wrote what I could remember down. Well, I decided to resurface the log and see what you guys thought. My writing skills have improved dramatically since I wrote this down, so maybe I can explain the mood a little better.

You see, this dream was about suicide. But it wasn't...depressing. I think that it symbolized a type of nirvana--being able to release all things material and moving on into happiness. It was peaceful, not sad. I'm not a religious person, so it surprised me at first, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Anyway, here's the log with a few minor edits--for instance, names, since I used my brother's real, full name, and the two main characters had none.

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Dream Log:

Description and plot-line: Two teachers, one an elementary school teacher, one a high school teacher. The elementary school teacher was female, 27, single. She had pale skin, dark brown hair, blue eyes, and wore casual clothes. She generally wore sun dress-type things, as the weather appeared to be constantly mild. She loved blue/white combinations, as was often shown in the patterns of her dresses. She was thin and stood about 5’4’’ in height. She was unnamed, but I would have to assume her last name was Sigma, since her brother was my real brother, Alex Sigma. I'll call her Desdemona (I've seen it used in more than one place, so I'm not stealing it!) She loved her elementary students dearly, like lots of her own children. I don't know if you've seen how some elementary school teachers are, but sometimes they really bond with their children, and vice-versa. You could almost say that they were tighter than a mother and her child. For some reason which I'm unsure of, her life was practically miserable. I keep getting drawn back to the idea that she's lonesome with some kind of bad thing happening at her house, and her only escape is the elementary school and her kids. She loves her brother as dearly as her students.

The high school teacher was male, 32, married. He had dark skin, black hair, hazel eyes, semi-formal dress, was of average weight and stood about 6’1’’ in height. He, too, was unnamed, but I'll call him Adrian (Yes, Adrian, I still absolutely adore your name. xD). Adrian was married to a younger, pregnant woman and had two unnamed children, one about seven years old and one about thirteen years old. He too adored his students, almost more than anything else in the world, but his life, like the elementary school teacher’s, was miserable--I think he and his wife's marriage may have been failing, but he still loved her. His students seemed to hold a charm that nothing else had--you know how some students and teachers are, where they joke around and play pranks on each other? Well, maybe not, but it happens at my school. When students and teachers really like each other, it's almost like an older-brother- or uncle-type relationship. I'm not really sure how to describe it. Adrian and his students joke around with each other a lot; he was rather clever and quite sarcastic.

The placing is by a bay of sorts; off to the east of the town (I’m not sure if it was an island or peninsula or something), and not far from a very tall, maybe three-story bank, the land breaks off dangerously into a body of water (Ocean? Lake? Not sure). Behind the bank and placed a little off to the side, the high school teacher and his family’s two-story home sits peacefully and unnoticeable, snuggled against a small line of apartments. Farther back, out of sight of the cozy house, is the one-story flat that belongs to the elementary school teacher. There are other random buildings, both homes that belong to other families or buildings like stores and police stations and things that provide services to the townspeople. The high school is also a two-story building, located just behind the bank (I know, this setting’s kind of crowded but that’s how I dreamed it). Beside it is another one story building, the elementary school. Both are unnamed, as is the town itself.

Both the Desdemona and Adrian have their own reasons for depressing lives, which I've tried to describe above. After school one day, the faculty of both schools get together for some socializing time, which seems normal, maybe an every day kind of thing. Upon further inspection (for this dream was viewed as though I were a ghost that no one could see, until later when I played both the part of Des then the part of Adrian), each of the teachers were miserable in some way or another, even if they didn’t admit it. While being the ‘ghost’ watcher, I seemed to pick up an all around depressing vibe.

Adrian and Desdemona seemed to be drawn together somehow, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting, or that one person you see and somehow know that you'll be good friends. They were both highly intellectual, and could probably be college professors or even doctors, rather than a high school and elementary school teachers--but they loved their children dearly, as rowdy as the latter may be. Casually, they talked about their lives, and they both confessed that they wished that there was something better--something interesting, something new to try. As strange as it was, they talked about suicide as though it were nothing. They planned a way of suicide that was very abstract, so it would be a challenge to them. It involved avoiding people (lots of people), rope, chains, the body of water, the bank, Des' brother's house, and the high school. I don’t remember exactly how they planned it out, but it was actually quite cunning. The end of their...trap? Involved a vent that led to the third floor of the bank, where a rope would be waiting for them, taut--one end attached to the roof, the other plunging deep into the water.

They began constructing, working only nights. Even though they knew that by going through with the plan would mean leaving their students and families behind, they built their obstacle course. I think what drove them was that they somehow knew that they weren't meant for this world, that there was something better for them (by the way, they planned on doing this suicide together). Without realizing it, they developed affection for each other.

They almost get caught a few times while setting up their challenging suicide (I’m still confounded as to how something like this could be thought of so casually, so it’s kind of hard to describe how… they seemed to have a lack of worry… I don’t know. But the effect of the story that the dream tells is that the audience isn’t supposed to think of this as a depressing tale, more like a mission… or something. Revised, it was a transformation, a release of material possessions, a willingness to take the risk of death in hope that there might be something better). They don’t plan on leaving notes or saying goodbye, they continue life as normal until after dark when they work on setting up. The final stage of setup is through the bank, and even though the time now was after hours, they managed to get in and set up the last of the process. Finally, finished with the course, they rest one night, savoring their last day with their families and students.

That night, after they were sure everyone was asleep, Adrian and Desdemona start the course. Building it was half the battle--they nearly get caught several times, accidentally waking people up because of some little mishaps.

Finally, just as dawn begins to break, they reach the bank. They get caught, but by this time, it's far too late--they're already on the balcony of the third floor. Some students, bank employees, and just plain townspeople (including Adrian's family and Des' brother,) rush out to the edge of the cliff, where the final stage of the suicide was set up. As explained before, a thick, braided rope was tethered to the bank and pulled taut by its connection to an under-water structure of sorts. At the top of the length of rope stand the teachers, surprised that they made it this far and having doubts about going through with it. I remember this part pretty clearly, so I’ll write out the ending in story form. I'm calling the body of water an ocean, because the waves in my dream were choppy, not smooth and calm, and an ocean is the only body of water I can think of with that kind of behavior.



Adrian...



Dawn was breaking; some of the townsfolk were already appearing from their cozy, cookie-cutter homes, ready to start a new day. Des and I stood side-by-side just inside the bank, resting, our hands locked together--partially for support--we were both exhausted--but I felt like maybe...

Neither of us could believe that we had made it this far. I climbed through the large, round window first, then, I wrapped my hands around her thin waist, helping her over with me. Des looked behind her and across the slanted roof--I could guess that she was glancing at her beloved elementary school. I could also guess that she was beginning to have doubts. I didn't blame her--my resolve was only as sturdy as it was because I refused to give myself that "one last glance"...

"Adrian...," she said uncertainly, clearing her throat. Her high soprano voice reached my ears, clear as a bell, "We completed the challenge--if we continue, we win. But what's the prize?"

I chewed on her food for thought carefully, wondering how to explain what I thought without bias. I wanted her to make her own decision--I had already made mine.

"It's up to you," I stated simply. "I think that there is something better out there, some place where we belong. Here...," I paused again, looking for the right words. It was hard to talk about this now, so close to his goal. "My wife, my kids, my students... if I stay here, my outlook on life will affect them. If I turn back now, my process of thought won't change. I'll still think that there's something better out there. I'll bring everyone down with me--I can't live with that.

"You're an intelligent woman, Desdemona," I continued. "You know what's best for you. I know that this is best for me. Our prize? A happier life--I'm sure of it."

I withdrew my hand from hers--she resisted at first--and held her shoulders, facing her towards me. "By no means do I expect you to go through with this--especially for my sake. After all--it is throwing your life away, essentially."



Desdemona...



His expression turned pained, his bright, hazel eyes holding mine as he continued, "But I wouldn't be able to bear the look on their faces, if they learned that I was serious. If I went back...," he made a gesture toward the townsfolk by looking briefly in their direction, "I don't think I could live with their thoughts of me, anyway."

"Surely you don't care what people think of you, Adrian," I scoffed a little, my voice barely over a whisper. I couldn't help it, he didn't seem the kind of person who would care.

His confident smile reassured me, even though we weren't necessarily on the topic of our deaths anymore. "I don't, not them," Adrian said. "But my kids at school--my family, too--they would never look at me the same way again." That painful expression took hold of his face as he envisioned his future. I just wanted to hold him, to tell him everything would be okay...

"They wouldn't think of me as that husband, that dad, that teacher who loves them. They'd see me as some psycho manic-depressed man. I'd break that bond with them forever. And anyway," he chuckled, joking, as usual--though I didn't see how he could manage to joke now, of all times...

"I'd probably spend more time in the blue room with padded walls than at the school or my house." His hazel eyes lit up again, that familiar flicker of laughter peaking through all the uncertainty, the fear.

Adrian's face turned serious again. "You can still go back," he said, noticing my eyes dart quickly toward the general direction of my school. "Say you were only trying to persuade me not to go through with it.”

I looked back, getting a strong, real last look at the elementary school. We were already too late--the students had started leaving the houses and, noticing the commotion, were making their way to the bank.

I faced the ocean again, looking at that cold, rough expanse--that somehow seemed welcoming to me. More welcome than I'd ever felt, the waves expanding in a final embrace--like someone standing with their arms wide open, waiting me to just run into them.

I shook my head. "No, I think you're right," I said slowly. "It wouldn't be fruitful, the challenge, if I quit now...," I paused again. My resolve had been strengthened once more by Adrian. "Kind of strange, isn't it? Normal people...they think that something is wrong with this. But it's different, I guess--"

"--Like it doesn't really matter. Like it's just another daily task to take care of," Adrian finished out my thought. "The stereotypical depressed man breaks off contact with everyone and leaves that single note--his outlook on life too...depressed...to be able to face his loved ones in person." He paused thoughtfully, and added, "Should we be more depressed, then, to go through with something like this?" He sounded like his usually, curious self, questioning the strange, unimportant things like he always did.

Again, I shook my head. "No--I think this is actually how other suicidal people feel too." It sounded like we were about to start a philosophical--or was it psychological?--debate. "I think that, since no one really knows what it's like to be suicidal until they try, all people can do is speculate." I thought about my choice of words for a second, then continued, "I suppose that suicide cases are probably different somehow--perhaps some people are hopelessly depressed--but... it's kind of selfish, isn't it? To do that to people? And besides, doing something like breaking off contact would tip people off. Like they didn't really want to commit suicide--like they were throwing out one final chance for someone to reel them in from their sorrow--one last chance to see if anyone cared. Almost like a cry for attention."

“Yeah," Adrian agreed, thinking over my words. "I think you’re right.”



Adrian...



"Adrian, Adrian! What are you doing? Come down from there!" My wife had seen me--obviously, I thought. I refrained from looking down though. I knew that doing so would damage my determination. Somehow, though, resisting the urge was easier than I thought.

"Please, please, Adrian, come back down!"

I sighed. "We should go, then, before more people gather," I said to Desdemona. I could already hear the cries of both elementary and high school children, and I knew that Des' resolve was already damaged.

After a moment's hesitation, she replied weakly with a "Yes, I suppose..." I knew that she loved her students as I did mine.

I took my first, and last, glance down, and spotted some of the students from my first class, a few elementary school kids, my family, some bank employees, and some other townspeople.

The employees looked rather confused--we had bolted the doors from the inside with plywood. That was the fault of double doors--easy to keep closed. Although, I supposed that was the point.

"Get the students and children out of here," I called down pitifully. "They don't need to watch."

"Mister Calt! Mister Calt, what are you doing?"

"Miss Sigma, are you gonna teach us about the bank today?"

I felt Desdemona shudder with silent sobs--with every moment they waited, she was becoming weaker. We had to do it now--with or without the children watching. Perhaps they would think of it as a stunt of some kind...until the we didn't resurface. As cowardly as my thought process was, I was still glad that we'd be gone by the time the realized what had happened.

I picked up the length of thick, silver chain that we had left over the night before and brought it over the rope, so that there was an end on each side. We were going to slide down where a chain net was waiting for us, to hold us underwater. "Ready?" I asked. I was glad that I sounded more confident than I felt--although I kind of wished I had felt more confident.

"I, I don't think I'll fall," Des replied, getting a good hold on both me and the chain.



Desdemona...



We jumped together. My eyes were closed, but I could feel the crisp breeze whip my face and clothes, erasing my exhaustion with a chill that cut to the bone. I clutched harder, closer, to Adrian, but neither of us fell. I gasped for breath at the last moment, when we finally, after what seemed like long, exhilarating minutes, plunged into the freezing water. Our speed decreased dramatically, but not entirely, and we collided into our chain net.

As planned, the thick metal-link net was released, by our momentum, from the hooks with which we had kept it in place. The edges wrapped around us in a deadly embrace, the edges getting hopelessly tangled. I could feel faint disturbances in the water--probably people jumping in, trying to save us. The water was surprisingly deep for this close to land--but then, it was a cliff that just dropped off suddenly from the bank.

My lungs burned with the need for oxygen, my heart pumping fast, thinking that maybe the faster it pumped, the quicker it would get what it needed. My eyes were open, but they didn't burn--probably because everything else hurt worse. Suddenly, I couldn't do it. I tried to struggle out of Adrian's grasp, tried to reach for the net, but he held me steady. I turned to him, smiling sadly, my eyes burning not from salt but from unshed tears. I can't leave my children, my brother! I thought wildly. I saw a flash of understanding in his eyes, but it was far too late for regrets now.



Adrian...



I didn't understand why my eyes didn't burn in the vicious salt water, but I did understand why the rest of my body seemed to be writhing of its own free will.

Human instinct, the instinct to survive, was trying to take over.

My lungs were on fire, trying to suck in air, but only getting water--then trying to cough it out, which only left me with less air. Confused, my body seemed to be living on its own, trying desperately to free itself.

I held Desdemona tight against me, though--I saw that she was smiling, even though I was sure she was crying. I think that I was, too. She looked back and tried to reach out--her mind seemed to call out, "I can't leave them, I can't leave my children, my brother!" but I held her back. We were hopelessly tangled in the net, still sinking to the floor of the ocean.



Desdemona...



I slowly realized that it was okay to leave. It was okay to let this world go away on its own, and, despite her chest being on fire, everything seemed... right.

I turned again to Adrian, smiling, thanking him for holding me. We were in a strange predicament, I supposed--we seemed to be speaking to each other through our minds. I leaned against him, finally accepting my original intention. The world could get along without us, and we had just won our challenge.

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Adrian and Desdemona looked at each other again, each of their expressions a mirror of the other's. Both of them felt peculiar. Slowly, the burning of their lungs ebbed away, and it even seemed like they could breathe now.

"I think, I think it's over," Des said, a little unsure of herself. She moved gracefully out of Adrian's hold, and passed through the chain net--much to the surprise of Adrian, as well as herself.

"How strange," Adrian replied, following her. He inspected himself, finding nothing different--except that looking back, he saw his twin--his eyes closed and a peaceful smile on his face--holding Desdemona's twin, with the same expression. "We're truly ghosts."

"We did it, then," Des said, relief--and something else--evident in her voice. She pulled on Adrian's shoulder lightly--it didn't take much in this new state to make him face her--and drew him close. After only a moment's hesitation, they kissed. Lips met passionately, tongues explored uncertainly. Adrian's wife had never made him feel so elated, and Desdemona had never found someone she had truly loved.

“I thought something like this would happen,” he admitted after she was done.

“Me, too,” Des confessed.

“Let’s go, then,” he continued, rising a little.

“Do you think that there is a heaven?” she asked, following tentatively.

“I’m not sure, but we’ll have to find out shortly, hm?” Adrian replied.

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Well, there you have it--the strangest dream I've ever had. Please comment!