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Everyone hates me.
I know there are people who "love" me, but as of now they're five hundred miles away from me.
Today school was shitty. And yes, no one ever sees or hears me curse, but this is a time where I must.
To start, it's "that time of the month for me". For me, this is bad. Remember that back surgery I had? That was nothing compared to the cramps I had all day.
So I took a Tylenol with codeen that I got from the hospital from the surgery. I only took half a pill, thinking it would last all day since it was supposed to be a really strong medicine.
It didn't it lasted through first period, and then I was in pain the rest of the day. It also made me as tired as s**t so I was slightly delirious when walking through the halls and people bumped into me often, cursing at me in anger. Two girls called me "mother ********," today when it hurt me a lot more than it hurt them when they collided with my back.
And then I just recently got home and found my brother had a pencil holder in his mouth. He was playing with it IN HIS MOUTH. Do you know how disgusting that is? Better yet, do you know how OLD he is? How BIG he is? He's 5' 9", 13 years old, and he's putting his fingers in his mouth along with a pencil holder. I told him to get it out of his mouth, rather irritably. He refused.
So I told him not to mess with me because I had a considerably crappy day. He took it out of his mouth. He said, "I wasn't trying to mess with you,". I told him he was anyway and that he should know things like that annoy me.
I didn't want it to go so far into detail since I'd say something that would seem like the end of the conversation and he'd add something moronic some five minutes later just to turn up the heat again. I eventually went to my room after finding my Biology book to study from to get away from him. Lo and behold, he kept going on about how he didn't have anything to do with making me have a crappy day ¬¬
So I call my mom to tell her we got home. I also tell her I had a crappy day and fought with my brother. She says she wants to speak with him, so I toss the phone to my brother and he does a lame attempt at kicking me in the stomach and tries to break my phone in half. I take the phone back and say to my mom that he tried to kick me in the stomach. She says, "I just want to talk to him," so I try to hand the phone to him but he knocks it outta my hand and I scream at him to take it. So I tell mom he won't take the phone. She says to stop screaming and just tell him. So I do. He kicks it out of my hand. I put the phone to his ear. He covers his ears. He says I always have to ruin everyone's day. He says he'll talk to her when she gets home. I tell mom that. I come to my room.
And here I am.
Nice to know. I always ruin everyone's day. He also said that he hates me several times. No, not that he hates me. Not just flat out mumble-under-his-breath, "I hate you..." it was...
"And you! I hate you! You make my life miserable! You make me want to kill myself!"
How do you think I feel right now...? Good? No. I feel hated. I feel like I was never supposed to be born. I feel like a problem child, someone who was born just to bring misery, someone who was created just to "ruin everyone's day".
And if anyone says that I'm being "emo", sure. Whatever. You try to go through a day like that...
But I did get my mid-terms today and I got three A's and a B. Woo...how exciting. A little light on this day full of agony and self-pity.
I think I'll go roll around in pain now.
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