Plumbing Creepies
“Plumbing is shot again? I just cleaned it!”
“How long ago?”
Jez thought for a moment, “Three weeks ago I think, no, three months ago.”
Her roommate Delilah rolled her eyes, “Jezi, I’m gone for six months to visit me family in Australia, and you can’t hold the fort that long? Did your mum ever teach you how to clean house?”
Jez huffed, more of an exhausted huff, but a huff none the less, “Yes, she did. I ignored her though. I’ll pay the plumber don’t worry.”
“Get it done before next week if you can, I want the house clean before I get back from my business trip.” Delilah said as she went to her room to pack.
“Another? You just got back literally three hours ago.”
“Yes, and it’s just the pit stop. I really want that promotion that’s coming up.”
Jez handed Delilah a package. Delilah took the package, “What’s this then?” she asked.
Jez smiled, “Your birthday is in three days. Now hurry before you miss your important business date.” She opened the door for Delilah, “Good luck sis.” She said.
Delilah smiled, “Thank you, and stay safe. I know you Americans have an act for getting into trouble, so don’t do anything I would do okay?”
Jez snickered and nodded. Delilah went out the door, and Jez locked it behind her.
“Well, the cats away the mice will play-” a strange noise came from the bathroom sink. Jez went to investigate, but saw nothing and went about her day cleaning around the house, and looking for the phone book.
Five hours later Jez sat down on the couch in her room, technically the living room since her room was being renovated into an office, and set up her camera, “Video diary entry twenty, August twelfth, nineteen ninety six. Hey there, it’s me, Jezirine Sandra Nightmare. Delilah, my roommate and un-official sister has gone off on another business trip, leaving me at the apartment. I signed up at the local collage; I’m majoring in art, and my minor will be in computers. I start next semester sadly; I wanted to start this semester but was too late in registering. At least this gives me time to continue at my job and get the extra money I need for books.” Jez paused to think of what else to say, the noise in the bathroom started again, “What is that?” She got up to check out the bathroom, she saw the sink overflowing and gurgling a brownish greenish tar like liquid. “Shoot! I forgot the plumber!” suddenly the doorbell rang. Jez closed the door to the bathroom and went to the front door, “Who is it?” she asked.
“Plumber.” She heard back.
How convenient! Wait, that’s odd, I never called a plumber… Jez thought
“Ma’am, the other occupants of this floor have been experiencing troubles with their plumbing, I was wonder-”
Jez opened the door quickly, “Thank god you’re here sir! The bathroom sink is making unnatural noises and spitting up this tar like liquid.”
“Oh, thank you.” The man replied as he went straight to the bathroom.
Jez observed him closely. He didn’t look like a plumber, in fact he was a bit tall, fit, looked to her like his hair was thinning, and he wore a leather coat. “What kind of plumber are you sir?” she asked as she watched him fidget with the pipes under the sink.
The man popped his head out for a moment, “One of a kind, can you get me a jar?”
“A jar?”
“Yes, like a jar you put jam in, a jar. With a lid please.”
Jez stood there, a bit confused as the man went back under the sink. She thought for a moment.
“Now miss?” the man asked.
Jez snapped out of her thoughts, “Oh, yes.” She went to the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers and cabinets, “We don’t have any jars sir; will a shoe box suffice?”
“Do you have a fish bowl and aluminum wrapping; or some kind of glass container with a lid? The plumber replied.
“How large do you need it to be?” Jez asked.
“Large enough to hold at least a cup of water.” The plumber answered.
Jez looked around and found a root beer bottle, it was halfway empty, but at least the lid was still on it. She drank the rest of it and realized that it was nothing but backwash from last week, “Aww sick! Who leaves back wash in their drink?” she coughed it up and took the bottle to the plumber, “Here sir.” She said.
The plumber took the bottle and looked at it. A bit disappointing, but it would have to do. The plumber then took out a strange device that looked like a metal pointer with a blue light at the end. He pointed it at the pipe and took the pipe off. A small, slimy, frog looking creature bounced out of the pipe and landed on Jez’s shoulder. Jez looked at the creature, “That’s the thing that caused all this trouble? A frog?”
“Don’t move!” the plumber said as he slowly got up. With lightning reflexes the plumber trapped the small creature in the bottle and quickly closed the lid. The creature tried to expand in the bottle but was too weak to break the glass. “Ha! Now to find your parents.” The plumber smiled and began to leave.
“Wait!” Jez grabbed the plumbers arm. The plumber looked back at Jez. “Aren’t you going to fix the sink? I mean, you can’t just come into someone’s home, claim to be a plumber, take apart their pipes, remove a frog thing from them, and then leave without fixing it. By the way you’re not a plumber are you?” Jez said.
“No, I’m the Doctor.” He smiled and began to leave again.
“Hold it Doctor! You’re fixing my sink! I don’t know anything about the way a sink goes, and if my roommate comes back and finds it like that she’ll kick me out.”
“Hold this.” The Doctor put the bottle in Jez’s hand and fixed the pipe. “Happy now?” he asked as he took the bottle back.
“Yes thank you. So there are more of those…frogs out there?” Jez asked.
“Yes, but their not frogs, their bugs. They followed me from the future last I was here, and they’ve been breeding in the central water main of London, I went there to gather them all, but they moved. I’ve been trying to clean things up before the babies mature and unleash a poison into the water.”
“Future, poison, bugs? What?” Jez followed the Doctor out of her apartment building.
“Yes, I think they are moving now because they know I’m here.” The Doctor stepped into a phone booth with the bottle, “Are you coming human?” he popped his head out and asked.
Jez hesitated for a moment, and then stepped into what she thought to be an impossibility. She quickly got out and examined the booth; it was about six feet tall, and three feet by three feet. Blue, with Police Call Box printed around the top. She stepped back inside and looked around; it was much larger, “What?” she asked half whispering.
“Time Lord technology, larger on the inside.” The Doctor said as he poked at the frog bug, “Now where are your parents hiding?” the Doctor asked as he watched a screen.
Jez went over and watched him, “What are you doing?” she asked.
The Doctor ignored her and continued watching the screen, “Aha! Right under Big Ben, why though, that’s nothing that connects to the water main.”
“Perhaps they like the sound of clocks.” Jez suggested.
The Doctor looked at Jez, “Maybe, they do tend to enjoy certain frequencies, like your voice.”
“My voice?” Jez asked in disbelief.
The Doctor looked back at her, “Yeah, but that’s strange. You’re a human, open your mouth and say ahh.”
“Why? I mean, it’s not like you’re a medical doctor are you?” Jez protested.
“Just do it human.” The Doctor said.
“Fine! Ahh…” Jez opened her mouth. The Doctor took a look inside and appeared to be baffled, “That’s odd. You seem to have an extra set of vocal chords that emit pitches on both sides of the extremity of sound waves. Are you sure you’re a human?”
“Well, last I checked I was part of the human race. By the way, my name is Jezirine.”
“Do you sing Jezirine?” The Doctor asked.
“Yes, I do sing. I work at a casino as a singer. What does that have to do with bugs that are planning to poison Britain?”
“There must have been a reason why this one followed you. He must have been attracted to your voice. Is your casino near Big Ben, or the London central water main?”
“It’s close to Big Ben actually. Are you saying I’ve been stalked by a bug?”
“You should take it as a complement. The natives of the world these bugs come from use them to locate the most beautiful of sounds. Your voice is worthy enough for a king.” The Doctor smiled. “We have now arrived to the under belly of Big Ben.” The Doctor went out of the phone booth, followed by Jez.
“How did you do that? Does this box have wheels?” Jez asked as she looked around the sewer line they had arrived in.
The gurgling sound Jez heard in her bathroom was now echoing through the sewer.
“Oh good, keep talking while I get a vacuum.” The Doctor went back inside the booth to retrieve a vacuum.
“What? A vacuum? Won’t those things pop it?” Jez asked. She turned around and saw a mass of the frog bugs. “Uhh… Doctor, can you hurry up please? If those beasties are poisonous I really don’t want to be buried in them.” The mass grew closer, and Jez didn’t hear anything from the Doctor. “Doctor? Hello, could you please get out here and do something?”
Finally the Doctor came out with a glass vacuum, and sucked up all the bugs, “There, now to take them home where they belong.” He started to head inside the booth again.
“Wait! What? You…” Jez wanted to say something, but couldn’t think of anything.
“Well are you coming or not? You did help me catch them, I owe you a ride back to your home at least.” The Doctor said.
Jez sighed and followed him into his box, “So, what is this thing?” Jez asked as she poked at the vacuum.
“The TARDIS, it stands for Time And Relative Distance In Space. It’s my own little blue box.” They Doctor replied as he fiddled with the buttons on what Jez figured was the mother board.
“I meant the vacuum, but now I guess I can rest assured that if my friends ever ask me what the most out there vehicle I’ve even been in, I can say a TARDIS.” Jez said, looking up at the Doctor with a playful smile, “And you, your for real a time traveler?”
“Yes, I am. I am the last of the Time Lords. I travel around for fun, recreation, and to save the occasional damsel in distress of a plumbing problem.”
“I wasn’t in distress. At the time.” Jez said.
“Of course not. Now, I’ll be right back, you stay here while I take these creatures back to their swampy home on the planet Struuv.” The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS.
Jez, never one to be left behind, hopped out of the TARDIS and followed the Doctor. “Wow! This place is amazing! The sky is green. The sky is literally green. And the grass, it’s blue, it’s like a backwards earth.” She laughed.
The Doctor rolled his eyes, “Didn’t I tell you to stay in the TARDIS?” he asked as he dumped the bugs out in a small puddle.
“You can’t possibly leave me alone in that thing. For your own sake I decided to follow you, that way I wouldn’t be tempted to push a button that, with my luck, would have been a self destruct button or something.” Jez smiled.
“Right, curiosity is a blessing and a curse. Lets go now, before they follow me again.” The Doctor took Jez’s hand and led her back into the TARDIS.
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