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have you ever had to wait to hear back from some body ? waiting to get the news yes or no , good or bad. and if feels like ever passing minute is not a minute but a long dragged out hour that seems never to end. it drives you crazy, just waiting knowing that what ever the answer is there is no way you can change it. but still you wait unknowing but unwillng to let it out of your mind. you lay wake in your bed unable to sleep cause the answer to your question will not cometell th morning .....

that is where i lay tonight, its 1 a.m., but yet i can not sleep. even know im tired and i have a headacke i still can't sleep. ever know i dont get more then three hours of sleep tha other night, i still cant sleep.my mind is rasing with all the out come and what each will mean for me and my life. late night i layed wake answering questions that maybe asked and making my mind up one what i was going to say, to the person doing the interviewing for this job i hope to get. im a very jumpy person and i hate to wait and i hate to be late. so i made my way down there about an half an hour earily. the lady was very nice i answered her questions. and i told her that i knew three people that work there and the i was good friend with them, the thing is she isnt share about me cause i only had one other jobwith was only a summer job, but at the end she told me she'd be calling people today and telling them if they did or didn't get the job.

if i got the job it will be great! its really close to less then a block to for where i live and i can walk there easily rain, snow or sun. and it will help pay for my apartment and my pets. and seeing that i know people i wont need to try to make new friends to talk to.

if i dont get the job ... ill have to go look for somewhere that is looking for help. witch means walking or riding my biking around looking. witch is not very safe in a city where no one seem to know how to drive. and most of the place that i can work at are quite a way away. and walking in the rain and the snow wound not be cool cause i dont have a car. and if i do get a job at some other place with a longer walk what if i have to work late, like i said be for its not the safest city. i could get hurt or kill walking home. i've had people follow me home and people asking me for money or smoke (note i dont smoke and dislike being around smokers), what if one doesn't take no or i dont have any as an answer ? i can fight and i can make a sound like a hawl/firecracker, but im not very big 5'4 170lb. and im no match if the guy has a gun or a guy that is riped out,

so i wait, unable to sleep cause im waiting for an answer that could mean life or death.