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A small apology for the weak a** rant last time, but now I'm back and I have a new target! This target is a woman called Chris. Ooooooohhh this one is going to be hilarious. Why? because hypocrisy is like a fine honed knife.


Perfect for major arteries and can serve bread straight after! WHEE!!!

Chris, also known as Teazer2Pleazer by some who think that that name has anything other than sexual reference, is ALL she's known by. I've known her for about a year and all i know her as is

CHRIS. WTF? does this girl /not/ have a last name? Oh oh oh. I'll give her one.

Chris Stalker. Rings nice and true, plus it runs smoothly... *swoons* such a beautiful name for a psychopath.

Problems with her:

Delusions of being a Vampire
Delusions of being with me
Minor Manic Depressive Issues
Paranoia
Fear of being alone.

NOW time to explain

Chris Stalker met me in a chat room when I was ... lets say... 17. She, on the other hand, is 35. I was nice and talked to her. She wanted to ******** me. Conversation follows like this!

Me: 'Hey everyone, what's going on?'
Her: 'Hi! How are you?'
Me: 'Doin good, how bout you?'
Her: '*on her knees in front of you*'

and I prove my point. Who, in their right mind would say hello by ripping off your pants? ( and not get paid for it, I mean.. come on here people )

WHAT THE ********!!?!?! Stalkers! STALKERS! I had some girl who loved me in the span of a day, and now I find out I have a stalker!?!! TWO OF THEM!

GAAAAAHHHHHHGHGHRGUJNSJVKSDKBLJAS!!!!

Ok, for every stalker I find in my cereal, I'm going to kill you. All of you. One by one, with 15 socks, 2 wiffle bats and a pound of 'slightly seasoned' death ray.

I swear to christ almighty that if I /ever/ I mean /ever/ die, I'm going to have my funeral in secrecy. I don't trust you women with my corpse!

'Make him dance! Make him dance!'

Sick bitches! I's dead! Lemme be dead! >_< God damn... you die once and they think they can do whatever they want..

NEXT THING to bother me

this term: soulmate

Lets break it down, shall we?

*plays sesame street music*

Soul....... Mate....

a soul is a metaphorical object which is used to describe your emotions, memories and overall 'metaphysical' state of when you go to the afterlife.

SOUNDS LIKE FUN! Yay happy death time!

mate is a term when used with animals, saying that the specific animal has mated with another of it's type. It means they will spend together with each other because he gots the b***h pregnant.

Soulmate

a term used when the soul finds it's mate.

*twitch*... *twitch twitch*

Just ask yourself... what happens if your soulmate doesn't have a soul?

HA!! HA!!! *POINTS AT DRAMATICALLY* DIDN'T THINK ON THAT DID YOU!!?

bitches... all bitches... neh... I think I might go gay. too many women are here to ******** me over. if I was gay, I'd just be ******** over and enjoy it.

Oh! lighter side! I met Eidotea in person!

I would give you a picture of it, but cameras steal your soul.

Tune in Next time for... c**k B Ranting!