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This is a rant that has been coming for awhile now, I just never had to countdown during it. First, the basics, as always.

I have horrible luck with love. Well, not even just love.. but women in general. ********! look at what I've done and have happened to me! (blatant plug for reading the back rantings ) YAY LOVE!

*waves to cupid as an RPG looks on and boom.. cupid pieces everywhere*

Gah!! I got love all over me! it's ******** putrid! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF

Ok, here's the things that are wrong with Love:

I don't care love is blind. Hell, love isn't just blind, it's deaf, mute and ******** retarded. Love will bitchslap you so hard, all you see is that person even if they are missing half their body because of a freak acid accident from an elephant's shithole.

Now, when you see this person you miss major details... faults... lack of income... oh! and a /RING/ on their ******** LEFT hand! *cackles insanely* yes! Yes my friends! they do not see the fact that they are married.. or that they are attached to a woman? Hmm? OOOOOoooohhh no.

Here's another thing. Oh, heaven forbid me for mentioning this, but who else finds something as a 10 YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE?

10 ******** years! OH MY GOD. Sure, love doesn't care, but society and ******** standards should dictate. what the hell can you talk about? Music is different, clothes is different, your ******** celebrities are different! A DECADE OF DIFFERENCE.

The ONLY thing a age difference couple would want is either a) a daddy complex gone horribly wrong.. b) Sex.

Mind you, if it's not the latter, it's still disgusting because I still can't stand any woman calling their boyfriend 'daddy' and it /looks/ like he could pass that off.

'Daddy, can we play now?' -- 'Sure, darling.. get in the bed and take off your clothes like I taught you!' -- 'Ok!'

WTF!!?!?! *gags and then tries to rip out his eyes* Die you god damn ******** sickos! s**t ******** god damn mother ******** giraffe loving ham spanking rapist pirates!

YARR YOU b*****d now get your bone out of their booty and shove off!

People in their right minds understand that love is a simple emotion... to those who have no idea what love is, they see it as a plague, an unnatural and completely alien disease.

"my god.. he has the love!" DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

Here is what love is..

Love is an infatuation that hasn't ended.

(BOO HISS YOU SUCK! YOU LOSE ) SHUT UP YOU BASTARDS! THINK!

You like someone because you're infatuated with them.. you want to get to know them better... You get to the point of where you know everything about them yet still are infatuated with them.

You like them because you can deal with them, live with them, and don't mind their faults. You are comfortable, you are content, you are happy.

Then the magic three letter word is added which can make, break or complicate any friendship, relationship, or marriage.

Sex.

*GASP* Oh noes! not the seks!

Yes, the 'vaginal and/or a**l' intercourse. Now, here's the thing everyone is probably wondering..

'what about lesbians and gays?' Let them at it. Hell, I can guarantee you it's a lot easier to get along with the same sex because there is no real change in likes and dislikes.. women like to shop ( stereotypically ) and men like to sit and scratch themselves ( sad truth ). What happens if you have a same sex life mate? You do. simple as that.

But sex can make a wonderful relationship better or horrendously worse. Men, in their baser forms, LOVE sex. if they say they don't, they're lying worse than martha stewart about her acid problem.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THINKS AUSTRALIAN SEAWEED IS COMMON!?!?!?!

I digress..

If you fall into the next catagories, make sure your personality is blinding.
1) Dead ********
2) Can't Kiss
3) Psychotic
4) Under the age of legal consent ( 14 )

Sex from these catagories is dull, lifeless and the most boring in the world. except from the last.. it's just ******** nasty. If you are having boring sex, then there is a problem for MOST men. I'm saying most because some can withstand long strands of no sex.

( I for one am one, but I am getting irritable lately )

YET if the sex is wonderful, no matter what man, married or not, WILL be with you until he tires of it. ( which is never )

Sex is sex. if you think it is making love, you are wrong. it's making them like you more, be interested in what you can do.

Women, you can't escape this. You love sex too, you just won't admit it. You love the feeling, you love the release, you will be lying just like Martha if you say otherwise. You know for a fact that the one thing you fear worse than trying to get a boyfriend is them not liking to see you naked.

Love is fake. Love is an illusion.

Women who say they love me is bullshit.

I am different only because I treat you normal. I treat you like a human. I talk to you, I listen, I am there without trying to grab your chest, whistle at you shaking your a** and whacking off to picturing you having sex with me.

I am normal. Do not love me. Period. If you do, there is something terribly wrong with you and I will try to find out what.

I am Brief__Disaster, and I need only to keep the infatuation alive to know that there are people who think I am their perfect one.

Bull

********

s**t.

Tick tock, tick tock..

Love me, Hate me, but keep reading. Because love is just a brief disaster.