Today was the worst fair ever and wasn't even worth going to.
I cried more then I smiled.
I was pissed more then pleasant.
This is saying something because I LOVE fairs. I wait all year for these things, I love them to death... but this year?
God, I wish this year never happened. I stormed off because I wanted to cry so badly.. I wanted to beat someone in the head with my camera until blood covered it all.
I hated someone I held dear to me more then I hate my ex. What does that tell you?
It was the worse... It wasn't even worth it to see Hanz... IT WASN'T WORTH IT.
Now I'm sitting here, crying and feeling numb. I'm locking myself away from everyone here.... and there's nothing making me happy.
My favorite rides didn't make me happy... Sexy back didn't make me happy.. Hanz didn't make me happy.. nothing. I was just numb and then I finally broke. I'm tired of this. I don't even know if this is all worth it anymore!
I'm tired of having to have my life ran by someone else just because Hanz doesn't have the balls to tell his parents until our anniversary. Do you know how much this hurts me? I wouldn't care if my feelings actually MATTERED. Or if the guy still cared... and wasn't being such a b***h.... *sigh*
God.. everyone probably knows who it is anyway. I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.. I wanna stay home and cry and curl into a ball and cry some more and stayed locked up in my room.
Why can't I have that lifetime romance? Why can't my man pop up when I need him? I don't get anyone when I need someone. I get to sit here in my sorrow.. in my pain... just getting worse and worse because I have no one to be there. I'm alone and I hate it. What did I do? What did I do so bad to deserve this? I don't understand. I don't remember doing anything.
I wish... all those happy lucky a** bastards... would go away... because I'm tired of it. I know I'm not a horrible person.. I know I'm not bad... I know I don't deserve this. I deserve better then this and here I am being treated like s**t! Being treated like the worst thing to ever exist.
Do you want me dead, David?
Do you want me to disappear, David?
Do you wish I just never met you, David?
Do you wish I never cared, David?
Do you wish you never cared, David?
Did you ever care, David?
Did I ever matter, David?
What did I do, David?
Do you want me to stop caring, David?
Do you wish I was just never there, David?
Am I that bad, David? Am I that bad?
I... wish I didn't have morals....
I cried more then I smiled.
I was pissed more then pleasant.
This is saying something because I LOVE fairs. I wait all year for these things, I love them to death... but this year?
God, I wish this year never happened. I stormed off because I wanted to cry so badly.. I wanted to beat someone in the head with my camera until blood covered it all.
I hated someone I held dear to me more then I hate my ex. What does that tell you?
It was the worse... It wasn't even worth it to see Hanz... IT WASN'T WORTH IT.
Now I'm sitting here, crying and feeling numb. I'm locking myself away from everyone here.... and there's nothing making me happy.
My favorite rides didn't make me happy... Sexy back didn't make me happy.. Hanz didn't make me happy.. nothing. I was just numb and then I finally broke. I'm tired of this. I don't even know if this is all worth it anymore!
I'm tired of having to have my life ran by someone else just because Hanz doesn't have the balls to tell his parents until our anniversary. Do you know how much this hurts me? I wouldn't care if my feelings actually MATTERED. Or if the guy still cared... and wasn't being such a b***h.... *sigh*
God.. everyone probably knows who it is anyway. I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.. I wanna stay home and cry and curl into a ball and cry some more and stayed locked up in my room.
Why can't I have that lifetime romance? Why can't my man pop up when I need him? I don't get anyone when I need someone. I get to sit here in my sorrow.. in my pain... just getting worse and worse because I have no one to be there. I'm alone and I hate it. What did I do? What did I do so bad to deserve this? I don't understand. I don't remember doing anything.
I wish... all those happy lucky a** bastards... would go away... because I'm tired of it. I know I'm not a horrible person.. I know I'm not bad... I know I don't deserve this. I deserve better then this and here I am being treated like s**t! Being treated like the worst thing to ever exist.
Do you want me dead, David?
Do you want me to disappear, David?
Do you wish I just never met you, David?
Do you wish I never cared, David?
Do you wish you never cared, David?
Did you ever care, David?
Did I ever matter, David?
What did I do, David?
Do you want me to stop caring, David?
Do you wish I was just never there, David?
Am I that bad, David? Am I that bad?
I... wish I didn't have morals....
![[LeCheesyPotatoEatsHieis]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/5e/bd/6dd3ef355bd5e.png?t=1606758880_6.00_11 "[LeCheesyPotatoEatsHieis]")