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I guess part of my problem is my friend pretty much leaving me for the significant other in his life. That person to them has become more important then me, has been that way since we met but meh. I was always ignored and never had that many friends. So there for it just kinda hurts to know that eventually I will be forgotten cuz the best friend is always forgotten no matter what. I just feel like its better...until he decides I become important again. Until then theres just not much I have much to say to him. I guess uh...I got to attatched again but oh well, I usually do and I get the short end of the stick every single time. It doesn't matter I guess, my feelings hardly matter to anyone. Everyone always breaks their promise so I don't see how he is any different then the others. I mean...is it possible to break somebodies heart twice? Cuz I think it happened.

-sigh- He doesn't care like he says he does. I mean he may care but not as much as he does for the one person who is supposivly the most important. Whatever happens, happens. I just hope he realizes how good of a friend he is actually going to lose before anything truly happens. But the start has already begun, has for a while its just that things distracted it. Soon the friendship will end due to his inactivity in showing me what he is supposed to in friendship. When this happens, it will hurt probably the same as before. Cried for about a week.

I guess I just have to accept these things, no friend like that is gonna want to be with me forever in one life time cuz they care to much for that one person they are gonna be with. Its not like I ask for anything physical, just a hug or cuddle here and there is all I need to feel loved or even saying a few words. But he can't do that cuz thats considered "cheating." But..whatever if hes not going to put will into being my friend then there just is no future. Just hope he knows how much I do care for him and decides to fix this before he loses me for good.

But I will say one thing...the pain of losing this friendship...it hurts..it hurts to feel like you mean less to someone to be the near nothing. emo