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I fell into darkness and lost my self. I float endlessly there now like never before.

I had no will to move today, I slept for the longest time and even through the entire day of mothers day. I had no hopes of moving, no will to be part of this world ever again. Cuz what I had was nothing before. Not many people know I just get up everyday with that emptyness. It seems theres only one person who has helped me now and she her self...is one of the greatest friends I have ever had. But even though her kindness is enough, I still hurt over losing the friends I held so dear. Because, with out importantance I fall apart, with out love I am nothing to those other friends. If they give nothing to me then there is nothing returned. If am not important to them then why should I be around them or anyone else who has no high feelings of me? I don't think I should because they are a waste of my time and life.

All I wanted was to be loved and cared for by friends. But it seems that alot of my friends do not keep me close to their hearts as they have said they would. Broken promises and forgotten words. This angel crys out of love. That one friend...putting the significant other over all friends...well it may not be wrong to him but it is to me and all others who do it. To forget about your friends is a terrible act! Even if you don't think your doing it, your doing it, especially when your in love with that one person whom you think is more important then all the others. Well guess what, from my experience its not true. Their not more important, their just that person you share alot of things in common with and you wanna have sex with them and even though there is love there, sex is a big part of the relationship! Thats all it is really sex, people say its not but the only way a real relationship in my opinion could ever be is if the couple wasn't even attracted physically to each other but yet they still loved each other. That is true love there with out the physical contact, why I say this...cuz lust does alot of things to you and all you think about in a physical relationship is sex and being there for each other where in a non physical relationship all you get is hugs and cuddles. Possibley even a few "I love you".


-sigh- But even so with all those things, I feel my will slipping away into the darkness to never return. The only thing that can save me is friends, the only thing that ever could is them. I just wish this person would realize his mistake no matter how wrong he thinks I am. Because now, only friends can save me from that darkness, because I need love...and love is that one light that shines forever. Only it can help me now. emo


~Floating endlessly through the void~