How can he say that?! Not 100% sure anymore he says! And I quote, "I'm starting to get a 'little' concerned with how badly you want a kid. I mean I know we've talked about it and stuff, but I'm starting to not feel 100% comfortable with it now." Jerk! We have been talking about for over a year now and he just says that! I just told my weird dream about me getting pregnant and just asked if he really wanted to wait 4 years for us to be completely together. Like marry and start a family. *starts crying* He doesn't know how much that hurts... Fine. You know what forget it. I'll just never think of our future again!
him: I love you so much, you know that, right?
me: Yes and I love you too
him:I just kinda feel pressured a little...
me: pressured?
him:You know what..forget it. It'll just upset you and I can't bear that. Please forget what I just said.
me:just tell me. You know i hate being kept in the dark.
him:Well it's just you keep saying how badly you want a baby, how you want us to not wait, just jump right into having a child. It..it's making me feel pressured that that is what you want most out of our future. I know it's not true, but it is feeling like that a little bit
me: oh
him: I mean I DO want to have a family with you, in our future. But I want some time with us by ourselves. I mean once we have a baby, it'll be with us for 18+ years. That's 18+ years of our lives devoted to raising and nurturing a child. And it will be WONDERFUL. But don't you want a few years just US?
me: I see
Is it really that bad? I just wanted us to be together. I guess it was all a mistake to think anyone could completely understand me. How fragile I really am. Or how I need to hear the words and feel them to know that they are true. I grew up being hurt over and over again. I just wanted a future to look forward to, that's all. I guess I can't even do that. I'm limited so much. I can't be with him everyday or once a week. Heck, not even once a month. So limited. I can't feel him hold me or kiss me. Nothing but talk to him on the phone.
Fallen_red-winged_angel Community Member 
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