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Do I still need him when I have another that is closer?
Do I really want to wait for him?
For him to be in my arms?
For him to kiss me?
For him to say that he loves me to my face?
For him to love me as a complete lover?
I don’t know if I can wait.
Painful as it is.
Already two great promises from him have been broken by him.
And they broken my heart.
And the Bells of warning came too late
For the Floods already started running down my cheeks.
It wounded me more than anything else.
A knife to my soul and my fragile heart.
Some speak of wait and hope
While others speak of the end.
Both roads are painful.
I cant bare it.
I wish things were easily.
A lot easier.
But I know they will never will be.
The future doesn’t look so bright anymore to me.
It did almost a year ago.
But not now.
So many things have change and happen.
I cant bare them by myself.
And him being so far away doesn’t help.
I want to be held and comfort.
Loved by one.
But now I’m loved by two
But they are different love.
One loves me so.
His heart is mine alone
While the other’s heart belongs to another.
He says he loves me too but not in the same way.
I understand but
But sometimes it hurts to see him.
He seems broken when he speaks of her.
He has fallen because of her.
I do my best to comfort him
But it turn to something else.
Its not like I don’t like it.
I mean, I’m finally loved.
But why do I feel like this is wrong.
Wrong for me to love any of them.
I am not one for love.
I thought I was for so long
But I’m not.
I cant do this anymore.
I don’t want them to end up being hurt.
Or me being hated.
I don’t know what to do.
I dare not hurt them.
Stay or go?
End it or not?
And which one?
I don’t know what the answer is.
I pray it comes to me soon
Before things turn even worse for any of us.
Fallen_red-winged_angel Community Member 
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