Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I remember so many of the things we used to do any say as each moment passes by.
Day in, day out. Tick tock.
There always seemed to be more than enough time for us both, right? And yet, here and now, it seems to so lost. Some distant memory that we used to share of a future we used to dream of.
And now, here we are. Or at least, here I am.
Maybe it's something you were always thinking of. Maybe you had planned for this- Hell, maybe you wanted this all to happen. To get your fill of what I had to offer then leave me in the dust.
Yeah, I blame you. How couldn't I? For someone who told me so many things about themselves, you never once told me you were a liar or a user.
Then again, I guess you couldn't since you're so lost in your own sick whirl of denial.
For instance;
"I'm pretty."
"I'm safe."
"I love you."
Lies that, time and again, I listened to. That I wanted to hear. That I pretended above all else were truths, empowered by my actions. That these things were emotions and feelings that I felt I had earned.
And then, I realized something.
You're a liar. You always have been. When you had your first "doubts" that were nothing but lies whispered by jealousy and regrets. And then your second "doubts" that came from the mouth of the living embodiment of Regret, himself.
But, that was always enough for you, wasn't it?
Just that one whisper- One little cloud of doubt to send you on a crusade for those who you would demonize. Like me.
After everything I did and said.
After all the lies.
And the time.
There it is again- That fickle companion, Time.
Where is it now?
Now, that there is nothing left of what we used to be?
Now, that the future has to be rewritten in accordance with the present?
Now, that you've turned your back on who you are and who I was?
Time?
Time is here.
Time is with me.
Time is by my side, and it's pushing me forward onto a new horizon.
I won't delve into this abyss of emotions any more- This hole you've left here.
I don't have the time for that.
I won't idle in my depression.
I don't have time for that.
I won't let myself be attached to your sick sense of justice and slowly lose myself to whatever side of yourself you decide to show to your next blue victim.
I don't have time for that.
What I have time for is a new future; One that I get to write. A new and brighter future where I can live freely against the dark, sick standards you set for your world.
I can live in my own world.
I can live without you.
While you waste away at your desk, wishing for something more, hoping to change the world around you with just your ambition and a corrupted set of morals, I've already gone and changed my life for the better.
After all,
I got rid of you.