All I am is just a ******** tool. There is no one on this earth that will ever make me believe different.
No words can change my feelings on this matter, either. Never again. Funny how I actually felt like perhaps I was special to some people; I allowed myself to believe that people were drawn to me for who I am. But let me tell you, hell no. What a crock of pure bullshit.
Really, people have been -- and still are -- using Seth. Their intents and purposes differ, but make no mistake about it; everyone is doing the same damn thing, whether it's long-term or short-term. When the time rolls around, here they all come, ready for their little "quick fix", constantly at my expense. Oh and when they are done, when they've ruined everything I once had, that's when they place the tool back on the shelf and return to their ever-so precious, meaningless existence; always so readily crawling back to the "other" people in their lives.
Worst yet is when these people cannot even admit to what they're doing. They've got this major reluctance to own up to s**t. Get this, though: they expect you to be a certain way; deviation from this pre-determined way-to-be isn't a good idea. No, no. Because then -- only then something has to be terribly wrong. That's when they decide to judge you, as if they're something greater. And that's when they tell you what you "should do". Don't forget, that the "problem" has to be with me. Uh-huh. Since Seth's oh-so incapable of anything other than negativity.
Maybe I'm supposed to feel the same everyday. People ask the same questions everyday.
They get the same ******** answer everyday.
Well, I do sincerely hope everyone is having the time of their life. That everyone is cuddled in the arms of their damn lover and just setting their troubles aside. Because when all is said and done, you'll just fall back on Seth and he'll be the strength you need. Either that or you'll simply come and criticize how I'm living, how I'm doing things, how I'm not this and that. After all, the more petty bullshit and stress you place on Seth, the closer he comes to withering away to a ********, lifeless drone.
Use me, judge me; let's follow our routine.
******** you.
 Soul Forsaken · Thu Sep 27, 2007 @ 06:03am · 1 Comments |
