yesterday, while driving back home I realised some (while texting erica)...I realised that I think I might be in love with her. its weird, I mean, I knew I had a crush but she left and I thought I was over it but yesterday....I don't know, all I know is that I can't stop thinking about it.
I know I can't say anything to her ( or anyone else for that matter) but I wish I could tell her. tell her just how special she is to me. how when she smiled my heart melted a little. how when she was in pain it hurt me too....god, I cant be in love. not with her.
maybe I'm not.....maybe I'm just tired (that could be it, right?) maybe it's cause she's getting married to someone I think she'll divorce in 4 years or less. I'm happy for her. I'm happy that she's happy and that's what stops me from telling her that I would love nothing better than to try to be with her.
we could never be though, I mean, she's blonde and bubbly and everything I am NOT looking for in a woman. she's too opposite me....too erica for me. and yet I fantasize about things that could never be. why?
I have someone. I'm happy. when we do talk she makes me happy. why then, am I in love with that blonde girl who constantly worries me?
I can't stop crying over it cause it's unfair.
I truly wish I could tell you that I love you.
 yamiruri · Fri Sep 17, 2010 @ 05:36am · 0 Comments |
