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My story thus far... constant work in progress! WARNING! CONTENSE UNDER PRESSURE Introduction Welcome to a trip through my head, throughout reading this you should get some little sense of what it’s like to be me… Between current situations, thoughts and stories. Although unfortunately do to current situations I can’t type anything at work, BUT! I get to art quite a bit, and if I can get my lazy a** to a scanner I can get the art in there for you all… Look at that the story has already started! There I go again with current status; I’ll start now, thanks for reading! Dedicated To: My dedication with this would have to go out to everyone of these people that have been considered “note worthy”, whether it be a spur of the moment meeting, or a friendship that has lasted years, it’s you that makes this story so great, in other words… you guys are just all crazy! Keep up the good work! Chapter one: Current situations (Is it me, or does this chapter just keep going on forever? Lets just call this my story…) Well here I am, going to Boston... I finished watching Underworld Evolution, and actually managed to stay awake for the whole thing, only to find out that I don't have much battery life left. So I figured with my last twenty or so minutes I would write something down out of boredom. (Afterthought: Boy oh boy, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into with this one! [16 pages later]) This summer has been an interesting one to say the least, I've wound up Modeling, Kirstyn and I are still together and happy, and many other things have just been going right for me. I've straightened out my college situation that I had going, and I will be leaving in October to start classes! I can't wait for that, although it is going to be quite a culture shock for me... It will take me some time to adjust to the way things are done out there. Good times this summer, to say the least. Steve and I have been living it up almost every night now out in town; between firing people, and just hanging around with the usual suspects. I've been practically living in his place now for most of the summer. I haven't been home but once that I can remember. It was a good feeling going home though, I figured it was going to be like most other times where the first thing I would here was some lecture about how much I'm messing up my life. No one can complain anymore, I'm actually going to head off to college, and everyone stays happy as long as the rents paid. I do hope my mother sent off that money that was due today, if not, I'm going to have to do a lot of a** kissing to actually be able to live out there. Perhaps Jo will understand; we are a rather busy family... but a happy one none the less. Work is as mind numbingly boring as ever. Every day seems to be getting worse. I kind of feel a little bad about the lack of business these days... Exit 14, I'm officially lost, although threes a BK ... damn driver why don't we stop there for some food. Heh, speaking of the drive, it got rather confusing once we reached Hyannis. All of us stood there wondering which bus we were going to transfer to, there were two of them in front of us keep in mind. Both of which said Hyannis on them... I was sitting next to a girl at the time, still watching Underworld, when one of these busses starts up and drives off. Now in a complete stupor, I sit there questioning myself, "Was that our bus?" "Whats going to happen if that was it?" Eventually I got my lazy a** up and asked the lady at the desk. She told me that it was the one sitting right there, the only one left now, and I went back to my movie... well all in all my point is, it was a rather confusing situation, and the lady turned out wrong, another bus pulled in and picked us up. I know where we are again, our next stop is mine, I should start getting ready... although there is quite a substantial amount of time left before we reach the city, I always know when to look, right as the view starts getting good, and the air around us gets thicker. There is just something about cities that will never be like home, that being that fresh sea air that we constantly get. Last time I was at the beach with everyone I stopped and just sat there to smell the ocean knowing that I am going to miss it once I'm out in Chicago. Back to the subject of Chicago, I feel as if I won’t be too lost out there, I know Noelle, and as it seems she knows her way around the punk scene of the city, so I won't be at a total loss. I'm going to have to be careful about who I wind up around, I know that trusting people out in the city is going to be completely different than back at home where you can nearly consider everyone a friendly face. Well now my computer is yelling at me saying the battery is going to die, I think I'll get going before it actually does; I need some life after all. Update! Here I am, I'm over Kristen's place now... We've spent the night watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". It was a really good movie, now she is sitting there on the phone with someone; I'm not to sure who it is. She of course turned me down tonight, although there still seems to be some shred of hope. She really is an amazing person, who knows maybe we'll know each other for years and years to come. (Afterthought: “Yeah good job with that one dumb a**, that b***h’s still got your sketchbook!”) Well I'm not tired at all; we layer down for a little while but failed horribly at falling asleep. Well there’s that and the fact that I started tickling her. WTF??? She just mentioned wanting to have a pet duck, heh that reminds me how Vida used to own a few. Mmmm Bjork is playing right now, one of the first things that I noticed in her apartment was the Vespertine poster... it really is beautiful artwork. Now I'm just rambling, well anywho Boston is a really fun time... I slapped some stickers up when I got here all over the path here, I hope that she sees them every day and smiles knowing that I put those up. That show tomorrow is going to be amazing, I hope I can get in before tickets sell out, that and I hope that Steve can get in... I wonder what time he will actually be in. Probably really late, but who knows, I have a good feeling that everything will work out in the long run. Despite my best efforts I can't help but overhear her conversation, it's rather strange listening to someone who can have a good conversation... I'm not very good at it, especially over the phone, I just use mine to set up plans, I'm more of a face to face kind of person... more of a physical being as I've said many times in the past (it has almost nearly gotten me slapped a few times as well, I don’t suggest using that line around many girls). Wow this is a really strange topic... children that have been shut into rooms for many years and not allowed out and the effects that it has... I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do... boredom setting in, the "itch" setting in... I don't have a chance; she's already shut me down a few times. She doesn't really want me, I doubt that she ever will, it'll probably turn in to one of those two seconds to late things, or one of those well you live so far apart and we never see each other... doesn't anyone believe in casual sex anymore? Seriously, I'm beginning to have doubts in such matters. Ohh well deep down inside I really don't care... I'm happy, that’s all that matters to me, she's happy I'm happy we're all happy, avoiding getting together. s**t I just gave away the fact that I was listening in to her conversation, I don't think she heard me. Frosti, my personal favorite from Bjork, no words, simplistic beauty at it's best. Little chimes formed together in this wonderful song that lulls me into a little world of happiness. (Afterthought: “I guess every now and then I just lose my mind and type really strange things”) I kinda want to watch another movie, I don't know what to do though, start one on my laptop, or suggest it to her... Oh well I'll just sit back and wait to see what happens. She's finishing her conversation now; I think I should get going... Okay fine, I've decided to continue this... Here I am days after the show, and I'm still bragging about it. I went crowd surfing, moshing, sticker slapping... it was a great time, and unforgettable would be an understatement at describing how the current events of my life have been, whether they have been tragic, or euphoric, hurtful... I've really experienced life recently. Currently I'm sitting on a bench in the middle of town listening to the Gorillaz rather loudly. After work was fun, I was hit on by some girl, had a beer and smoked... it's been a good time, it seems there was just a bike accident, that’s the second time something strange relating to bikes has happened. The first time having belonged to a Jamaican man practically jumping off of his bike to grill some kid, then walking back and riding off... it's been a strange night. I got a chance to call Kirstyn today a few times, she’s kinda sick at the moment but better since yesterday, but not by much. I try to be there for her, telling her that she was going to be fine tomorrow, and that I'd see her soon... reminding her that I was going to be able to see her quite a bit in September. I miss her way too much; I don't feel the need so much to hook to other women. I'm finally content thinking that we'll be together again soon, more and more girls keep falling on me every day, but I've been turning them down, or just not going back at them. Back to current times, someone just arrived with a girl. I don't really know them but they seem to know our new lesbian friend whose name I can't remember at the moment. Ohh by the way I don't know if I've mentioned this yet but we are waiting till 12:14 for someone to come around, for what reason we are here and waiting I'm not too sure but I'm happy to know that we are waiting for something of interest... It's officially Steve's B-Day, lucky b*****d is only a little older than I am... whatever, I hope I'll show him a good time for his B-day, get him all crunked up and such. Sitting here waiting, only four minutes left now... they'll probably be late. Not much happening around me note worthy, but on something that happened that was out of the norm in my world... we saw Erica, and Radji hanging out tonight... I wasn't under the impression that the two of them knew each other well enough to hang out. The people are leaving now, and Tigger is sitting here programming a belt, Kids with guns is playing now... I love this tune... Hahahahaha! Stupid tourist, Googalas??? Bubalas dreary, get it right you stupid tourist! Tigger is leaving and now Steve and I are sitting here. Waiting waiting waiting, they are a minute late now... bastards taking up my good time! I could be out doing other things right now, but we sit here and wait for someone who is now like two minutes late... This is unacceptable! Nah I really don't care I like writing this, I just tried to show it off to Steve but he didn't want any part of my digitized stuff... stupid cave man. Wank, nothing but a bloody wank I tell you!!!!! Gravity, a rather pleasant stoner’s song, slows chill beat, easy to sit and chilax to this... Never mind that! Rancid is now our playlist, this group is truly amazing, Tim just has such a way about the stage, and Lars is just crazy! I loved watching and moshing and croudsurfing to this group. Goodbye lesbian lady, it's been nice knowing you! Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored, I'm going to read this now... Okay back to reality, I’m sitting here at the cemetery; we went to visit Susie, and the pimp. (The man had two wives, we idolize him) The Doors are playing marking once again that this has been a “Strange” day, I’m on break and it’s nearly 7 p.m. that means that I still have a good hour to sit around and type I saw Kirstyn just the other night, I got stoned before she came over… all in all we had some really good sex! It was really just what we needed, I felt so much better after. I gave her a locket, and she gave me a card that read the following: Square one! Bunny: “Do you love me the same way I love you?” Ears downward in a questioning manner Square two! Bunny: “You do!?” Smiling and ears perked up Card opens and reads, “Pervert…” It really made me laugh seeing this card, I noted that it had do me written all over it, and then one thing lead to another we that’s exactly what we were doing. It was nice… then I went over Steve’s played a video game, and slept. Okay anywho that’s a little game of catch up in important notes, we are still sitting here at the cemetery, Tigger has decided to give himself a manicure, and I’m obviously sitting here typing away… strange days are here again!!! Kirstyn said she’d call me back, but never did, so I really don’t feel bad about being stoned right now. I just looked over at Tigger and we just burst in to laughter… he is just sitting here manicuring away. I’ve just shared how hardcore Kirstyn and I can be; he’s had the same experience. This has been a good time, but Tigger is standing I think he might be leaving soon. Strange days is playing, and that’s all I really needed, I think we’re going to get out of here; I could use some food anywho! We are talking about running up off of walls and doing back flips off of them, I think I can do that! He says he can’t anymore; I’m going to suggest another bowl while he has my phone, and I’ll be right back! Tigger has suggested that I note the idea of “Smot Clothing line” He says he wants interest on anything that I make off of it, and I have no problem with hooking him up if I get around to it… maybe I can get around to it eventually that or I’ll make a good name for it and help him out. I like the idea… I just explained what I’m going what I’m going to do with my laptop… hack into it and set it up… make it l33t. I’m going to make it so my music will play even closed, without windows running or anything to preserve the battery, and make everything chill… Then I’m going to or in the process of setting it up to wake up with me and set an “alarm of sorts” off to wake me up, like The Doors cranking while I’m waking up (insert piss break here) . All in all I’m setting everything up on my laptop to run my life, a programmable alarmed calendar might be a cool idea, once I’m in Chicago, this is really all I’m going to have with me, that and my sewing machine, art, and stickers… that’s all I’ll need to live out there. Because I’m going to make it out there, I’m going to become big out there in the city. It’s starting to get late, I should really get going, get some food and get back to work. I wonder if I’ll be able to get out early tonight, probably not… maybe we’ll get some night business, it was a nice day (********’ ant climbing on my laptop!) perhaps there will be something tonight. Not to mention I’ll be living it up tonight, (I just typed out tomorrow just then, but I’ll be having a good time then too!) Anywho, food is a good idea, and working really never hurt anyone… I think I’ll be out for now. I’ll be back in a few, probably intoxicated! We are seeing Radji off tonight kind of. She will be missed; I’ll tell you more about here in the next chapter. Food food food! I’m over at BQ now, and I’m sitting here enjoying a shake waiting for a burger, my mother called me with some information on my loans, and that seems like it might be a pain in the a**, but I’m glad that she is on top of everything. It’s nice having her work with me, I wonder if that money made it in yet or not. All in all here I sit at BQ my arms are tired from typing so much, and I’m waiting to go back to an empty store to do nothing once again for an entire night, it bugs me how I cannot type what goes on with me at work, maybe someday I’ll sneak in a little session in the store, there is never a normal day in that store, there is always something different going on that’s just slightly out of the norm, not to mention the mass amount of art that’s generated out of boredom, that’s really how I got myself into marketing my artwork and such… oh wait! I didn’t tell you about that? Well you’re just going to have to be patient. I’ll get to that later, Okay, now that I’m done with my burger and I have some freshly greased fingers from my delicious double cheddar cheese burger. While I was sitting enjoying this I was stopped by a man wanting to take my picture… this is a common event it seems these days, between modeling… once again, I didn’t tell you about that yet, but I’ll get to it… but from that to this, it’s becoming less of a strange, yet still rather strange situation. Damn good burger and the shake is nice too, but I have to get back to work now, I’ll get back to you later. Welly welly welly well, I’m out of work an hour early, and cruising down to Steve’s place for a relaxing evening of smoking, and drinking… I hope to get to art on my coat this evening, I’ve been looking forward to it ever since we came up with the idea, and it’ll really feel complete after I finish this. The ropes idea was a good one, make it look like an old school captain’s coat with all of the different ropes, and knots and such. Okay so the run down on what’s going onto night we are currently smoking, and heading to Steve’s where we’ll meet up with Radji, and Erica… Tonight is kinda like saying goodbye to her, she will be going home soon, but I’m going to get her contact information, and I’ll be sending some stickers to her… make my logo international. (Which reminds me; contact Chie out in Japan about bringing it over there that will be good for me?) So we are saying our goodbyes tonight, by holding a chill little celebration night, I still have some JD left, but it doesn’t seem to be enough to supply me fully… it probably will be though. I really can’t wait to just get to bed, tomorrow I get to see Kirstyn… and I really need to get that out of the way, we both miss each other far too much to just not hang out every so often. We’ve arrived at Steve’s! Radji and Erica are sitting there looking through photos and Mrs. Henning has gone to bed, now Steve has come down stairs from cleaning up his room I presume, so now I think we’ll be heading up there once they are done petting the cats, and relaxing… we all worked today, we are the workforce of Provincetown without us the town will fall apart, Radji doesn’t do very well with cats I see. Okay well we are upstairs now, just hanging around and discussing art… Steve has officially handed me off the bottle of JD, and I’m going to start pounding soon. Although I do kind of have to use the bathroom. Hehe on the way here I ran a spellchecker and it told me that “Wank” wasn’t in the dictionary, that was a problem that I fixed quickly, and it pissed off Steve, he said, “You’d better be adding the word Mc to that dictionary!” I want to start arting on my coat! I’m going to be suggesting it in a second, let me do some pounding first I’ll return in a second. As a matter of fact I’m going to hand this to Erica and see if she wants to give it a read while I get crunked and continue typing… Bored at the moment, I’ve typed a bit today, I’ll continue this story tomorrow, fill you in on all of the details and such… I’m going to party my a** of tonight, I love you all! It’s officially September… let the sad strange days start!!! Well basically my days are just as strange but I seem to be leaving rather soon, with so much left undone. Oh well, I’ll be back soon enough, and I’ll make sure to make this next month a really good one with all of the time that I have off, between getting to see Kirstyn more, and also going to see Roger Waters at the Tweeter Center is just going to be amazing, I’ll have a lot of fun before I’m sent off to take over Chicago. So I have three helpless victims addicted to Flyff now, Ed, Asa, Steve, they were all no match for it’s appeal, now they are going to get hooked, Ed and Asa have already passed my characters skills, they show great ambition, and ability to be helpful allies when needed. Sooo anyway, I’m sitting here in North Truro under the underpass by Dutra’s, I’m actually feeling rather strange considering I have the Clash playing nice and loud right now, it’s definitely a chill time here right now. Kirstyn is on her way to come pick me up because I’m lost and scared… I love her! I’ve really rambled enough now about what goes on in my life, although I still haven’t typed in quite some time. Currently I’m up in N.H. just taking a breather before I go off to Chicago. It’s really what I needed, things down at the home front have become rather depressing as everyone is walking around rather morose… although in times like these and with what's going on down there, I really can’t blame them. Excuse me for the lack of detail on this section but it’s really not my business to be telling you anything further. Back to reality, I’m here up in good ole N.H. having a good time, I’m not really doing much tonight thus the reason why I’m typing, but it’s still a fun time up here… I don’t really have to worry about anything while I’m here. Not to mention things have been going okay since I’ve arrived. My school called the other day, Jo asked me if the money that I needed to send in was going to be an issue, so we could work out some sort of solution to this. So now I really don’t have to worry about all of that crap, I called my mother with the information and she was really happy to hear this news, then she called back later telling me that I got some mail in from them with all of this information that I would need to get over there, and what I’ll need to do and when. I’m finally all set to go… how sad. Lets see, not much has been going on lately… I’ve been catching up with everyone around town before I cam up, hanging out with them a bit before I came up here. Still the same as it will ever be over there, except for Tiger’s case… the poor guy seems to have gotten himself into some legal troubles lately, and due to this he is now on supervised probation. Once again I’m not going to go into many details on this because it really isn’t my business to be in his matters. Steve and I got into a fight about a week ago now, I was over his place after a long day, and we were just hanging around and smoking and such. It started with us on the porch, I was having a cigarette while practicing some “Russian Climbing” (Our dubbed name for the sport more formally known as Parkour which originated out in France by a man named David Belle) Anywho, Steve and I got into a disagreement when I decided to look at his furniture for a certain task… from there it was all down hill we both started yelling and it led to Steve just going back inside to have a little freak out session, I sat on his porch thinking it over for about a half of an hour before coming to the conclusion that I would be better off just leaving, so I gathered my things and my long board and started my long trek home. (I think it was about eleven miles back to my house by Kirstyn’s measurements) All in all let’s just say it was one hell of a trip, now that I look back on it… it was a lot of fun to have an entire highway to myself, with quite a few lovely hills that I’ve wanted to skate for years. So yeah fun time, long skate/hike home past midnight… but the next morning was a nightmare. I tried standing, but it was no use… my leg was in so much pain, I hurt just about everywhere. I took the next couple of days off to recover and spent some time with Kirstyn, it was nice… Well anywho, after I recovered from my adventure it really didn’t take very long to get me back out there doing more crazy things. This time I’d come home after spending an evening with Kirstyn, a nice quite one. I’d made it home and signed on to Flyff (the guys and I are all hooked on this game, check it out for yourself!) And Steve was on. I hadn’t spoken with him since the adventure, and I wanted things to be chill again, so we patched our s**t up and he told me to come over to smoke, believe it or not but I actually got Ray to give me a ride over to his house. By this time I had already done my homework about “Russian Climbing” and I told Steve all about it, he was happy to hear this and we started watching videos, when we got the bright idea to try it for ourselves. I won’t go into great detail, but I wound up climbing the roof of my high school, and jumping off at what I though was the safest ledge, but alas it still hurt like hell to hit the ground that hard. So once again in the morning, I was feeling like death… By the way I don’t think I’d mentioned this but, during all of this time spent on these adventures I obviously wasn’t working, I hadn’t mentioned it once I was hoping you would pick up on that, but the factor of this that makes it noteworthy is the fact that I hadn’t saved any cash this summer to live off of, so I was officially broke… which means there were no cigarettes, I’m surprised I survived that time. Okay I’ve rambled just enough, I’m going to start another chapter now for you, if your still reading that is! Wow, I really kind of forgot about writing this completely… after I started chapter two, it lost some flavor for me, so I’m going to skip that for now, and probably never get back around to it! I’m here in Chicago now; I have been now for six days… it’s been a really good time. My roommates are cool, I’m in the same room as Zach (He and I have a lot in common, it’s actually rather scary). Everything is going well over here, except I’m now broke, and looking to get a job sometime very shortly. Blockbuster was the one place I have applied for thus far, I hope they call me back. Working in between classes is going to be a pain in the balls, maybe I’ll just work my weekends away and continue life as I have on school nights. (Afterthought: “Just keep reading, it’s all downhill from here”) Oh and just as a heads up, things are just as crazy. Zach and I have smoked quite a bit since I rolled in. There is also this girl Kelsey(*cough b***h cough*), she is just amazing… great taste in music, she smokes, and she actually treated me to lunch the other day! I spent the night with her last night, and damn did everything work out nicely. I haven’t heard from her since… Holy s**t was it cold today!!! It started out with rain, that was a b***h with the wind and the low today was around like 39, it was no good. So yeah there was that, then classes weren’t exactly the greatest, between my math teacher finally showing himself, and in critical thinking we just sat around and watched some lame ******** movie named “Twelve Angry Men”. Besides that I really haven’t done much today once again. I met this other girl named Kortney, she seems pretty cool, she’s sort of got the hippy look going on. Then there was Bill who was in my class today, I met him last time, he hooked me up with a cig, this time we exchanged numbers and s**t, he was going to look for some greenery, unfortunately his search was unsuccessful (in my bored rampage I decided to give him a ring to see if I could at least be getting my smoke on tonight… no luck. So yeah, I haven’t heard from Kelsey despite the fact that I’ve been keeping up with calling her and texting her even more than I do with my actual girlfriend… but it’s whatever, I don’t really care if she blows me off like this or not. Won’t be the first time, probably not the last, hell at least I got a hair cut off the deal. I really want to smoke, I’m having trouble sleeping (thus the reason I’m still up and typing right now). Hopefully tomorrow will bring something interesting my way, it’s Thursday which means I don’t have any more classes till Monday. Speaking of Kirstyn, I called her tonight, I’ve been keeping up with talking to her and such, I miss her… but there is just so much going on right now that I can’t even keep track of it all. I’ve been talking to my mom quite a bit too; she’s doing okay, getting better from her foot surgery… That’s right… I didn’t say anything about this yet! My mom had a bunion removed from her foot because it was bothering her, and the way she could move around. Sometime between the surgery and the time it took for her to leave the hospital she wound up with an infection, and due to the fact that she had an open bone in her foot. (it was really hard to even look at it knowing how much pain she must have been in, she is strong)… so all in all the infection then spread into her bone and started eating away. So in between all of this she winds up in some serious s**t at work, and financially, I can’t get into details at this moment in time but maybe some years later. So now she doesn’t have any job, and her doctor was a real p***k, thinking that she was some kind of junky when she described her pain as “deep, like it was in the bone” while she asked for better medication. As a result of all of this she is now in a chair until at least November, just sitting there with an IV pumping antibiotics into her blood stream, and having a visiting nurse come by every day. It’s rough, but I try to be there for her, I kept her company while I was home… and made sure that she really didn’t get up to do much. Well now that you know that part of the story and I’ve semi caught you up on what’s going on back to here in Chicago. I’m sitting here on my bed waiting for a wave of exhaustion to sweep over me… but that’s probably not going to be for many more hours. I need to get myself a job fast, I’m out of cash, and not too sure about what I have left on my checking account, if the weather is fair enough tomorrow I’ll go check it out. I actually called Victor today to see what was up; I’m assuming that his divorce is still on… the poor guy eleven years with the wrong woman. That really must suck, anywho I called him to check up on things, he told me that he was doing fine. I found this extremely relieving due to the divorce and such. Hopefully he’ll be sending me some cigarettes, that would be one thing I’d like to have right now, a full pack of smokes. Could you believe that cigarettes cost around eight dollars a pack out here!!! It’s absurd, thus the reason I called Victor, and in good ole N.H. they are like twenty seven dollars for an entire carton, now that’s nice. And on a completely random note, I still don’t have my original sketchbook with my favorite work in it, nor have I heard from the girl that has it… Lost artwork really makes me angry sometimes, I loved everything that I put into that book, and everything that other people threw in there… so I’ve gotten over it and I’m building upon what was supposed to only be a replacement book until I got my baby back… yeah, note to all of you artists out there, never let a woman get a hold of something as precious as your own sketchbook, chances are you might never see it again. Zach just got back from the store, which means that there are cigarettes! Although he took his shirt off, turned out the light, and turned on some music… I don’t think I want to step out into the living room right now. I need a smoke so badly too… Well ********! This is irony if I’ve ever heard it before… the other night when I was over Kelsey’s, we were going through her music familiarizing with everything that we had in common (which seemed to be a lot), and The Postal Service happens to be one of my favorites, and the song that was playing just clicked with our conversation and current status, the song is called “This Place I A Prison” it’s one of the most depressing songs of theirs, and I noted that… and now that I’ve noted it, it clicks in with the fact that she doesn’t even call me anymore or anything… which also in the long run ******** me over twice, I left everything that I needed for my design fundamentals class tomorrow, maybe… just maybe if I get lucky enough I’ll be able to get that back without having to go through some bullshit, I’ve come to terms with the fact that it may have been a one night thing now… I just don’t care. I’ve been doing a word count on this, and the latest update with the numbers is 6,158! I think this marks the most I’ve ever written in my life, although I’m no where near done with this… unless I were to die rather randomly. I really don’t want to do anything tomorrow. The thought of taking the day off crossed my mind a few times, especially when I was outside… but I know if I do that, I’ll just go stir crazy in the house, and it’s almost guaranteed with the fact that I don’t have any cigarettes. Heh, I just scrolled up to check out a few things that I had written, and apparently this whole being really broke thing has been going on for awhile now… I had some money for my b-day but that was about it. I can’t wait to get some cash! Zach and I were actually playing the McDonalds Monopoly game hoping to win… I’ve been planning what I would do with the four way split. A bigger TV is a must, maybe even a projector, now that would be nice… better sound system here would be great too, what we got going on now is good an all, but it could be much better. Typing has never been more boring now… it’s ten after one, and I still haven’t begun to feel groggy, in fact I’m starting to get hungry again. That’s a b***h, I don’t want to go eating all of the food, and it’s all we have until one of us goes grocery shopping. Or until my microwave comes in, my nana will be sending one, along with some more food, she also mentioned something about a check. Damn that would be nice! Get some cash, food, and a microwave… I know exactly what I’d be doing for the next few days. Yeah and on that note I’m going to leave ya’ll for now. I’m not exactly feeling enthused enough to be writing right now, but I don’t really have anything better to do. I need to find my self a girl! Well actually… I need to be calling Kirstyn, I miss her a lot. Although a girl for out here wouldn’t be that bad to have. I’d give up on writing right now to call Kirstyn, but due to the time zone differences I’m assuming that she is in bed. I really didn’t do much today, I took a long walk that started at my school, and I just kept walking in the direction the red line travels. I went over to the water, it’s nothing like home… nothing will be. Heh, then as if that wasn’t bad enough I kept going only to realize that I was heading right near Kelsey’s place… I don’t know why it crossed my mind, or why I continue to care, but for some reason I just do. Hopefully I’ll bump into her tomorrow for some closure or something, either way I’m getting back that art crap that I’ve been asking for days. I’ll probably just have to hunt her down and stop her. On top of that tomorrow I’m going to have to look for some sort of female company for the night. Zach is on a roll with women, bastards dragged one in, and now he’s going on another! If there is one thing that having been enrolled in the Academy program taught me, it’s that life is one long learning process. Unfortunately not all of the lessons in life go without some sort of loss, pain, or other negative consequence. Tonight I was held at gun point and robbed while my MP3 player and headphones were stolen. My thief then made me follow him across the street because the cops were “watching” him, the whole time reminding me that he had a gun, and no problem with having to shoot me if need be… at that point I wasn’t about to ask questions so I just cooperated hoping to make it out of there alive. This man had no intentions of giving back my belongings until another man arrived in our dark secluded area telling the man to give my s**t back. Between the three of us, and the confusion from all ends I wound up with my headphones and s**t back, and at that moment the man for whom I had to thank for my things being returned turns to me asking, “So you got any cash”, but I wasn’t going to hear any more of it, I had everything so I ran… I ran until my veins pumped battery acid, and my lungs were about ready to burst. Then after that I broke down, for quite some time, I was a shell… pale, shaking, hell I even puked. This quite easily was the single scariest thing that has ever happened to me. All in all I wound up calling the cops, and they came to my apartment to ask me a few questions about this man and my situation. I of course wasn’t much help still having been so shaken by the whole thing. Tonight’s events are ones that will forever be imbedded into my memory. I’m very happy and I’d have to say lucky in this situation to have made it away with everything, including my life… let me tell you armed robbery on the streets of Chicago is something terrifying. Just another one for the life long learning list. The funniest part of this whole story is I was actually on my way to meet up a friend Stacee, to bring her back to our place. I had to go because she didn’t feel safe with traveling this late at night… now I don’t blame her. Oh and on top of that, during my whole robbery thing, she kept calling me trying to tell me that she won’t be able to make it out tonight, and that we should reschedule for another night. I called her back after I had my things and had made it away, she nearly flipped! She kept apologizing, and she was really nice about everything, we’ll be hanging out tomorrow. Speaking of which, I don’t think I’m going to be in any condition to go to class tomorrow, I’ll call Jo and explain then ask her to spread the message to my teachers for the day. Just for the record it’s now like four in the morning, I haven’t slept… and I don’t think I’m going to get to get around to that tonight. I’m definitely calling in tomorrow. If they give me any s**t I’m going to freak out… I’ve had way to long of a night to put up with anything tomorrow. I skipped classes the other night, and went out for a good time. It was alright, nothing really special, just a few drinks with some friends… actually now that I think about it; it really wasn’t all that noteworthy. But still it was better than how I was feeling a few days ago. As you can see, I’m clearly having a really strange time in this city, nothing is like home. I’m really just a small town kid… This city’s really going to do some s**t to me. I’m going to come back a different man. It’s official, I hate this place! Not that it matters anymore, I might be getting evicted, now I’m sitting here typing because I know I’m not going to be sleeping anytime soon. This whole situations really got me wound up, it started this morning with a search of our apartment, I was in the bed at the time… during this search they found an empty bottle of booze (of which was not mine), and a smoking device that I made, What they seem to not understand is the fact that I was only smoking salvia out of it. Apparently this was our second offense and the man searching our house wasn’t very pleasant with us. Here’s a good one too, the other night guess who stopped by? It was Kelsey, drunk and hanging all over Tyler! Wow that was really annoying, although at the same time I got the chance to take a stab at her… not that affected her at all no no no she was far too drunk. All in all it started out a blood boiling thing for me to sit there and witness, but all in all I’m not that shook up by the entire thing because I really don’t give a ******** anymore, not about that, not about really anything! When I was talking about wanting some sort of closure wayyy back up there, I didn’t mean in that sense… but it’s all the same to me now. Not to mention that I took a second look at her, I can’t believe I went for that! I mean EWWWW! I blame the lighting! (Not really, I’m just a dumb a**) All in all I’m really not that thrilled with what has happened since I’ve been here, so I’ve come to the conclusion that if it comes down to getting an eviction then I’m just going to deal with it and go back home, I don’t know anyone else that I can stay with for the time being, and quite frankly… home just sounds really great right now compared to this hell hole. Mom really took this whole thing much better than I figured she would’ve, I was in tears with her in the hallway of school today because I was so scared of this whole situation. Home really sounds good right now, I miss it there… I miss my family, all of my friends, the beach, even the way the air smelled out there. It’s easy to say that as of now Chicago chew me up and spat me back out… nothing good has happened since I’ve been here. Although on the other hand if I don’t get evicted, I’m going to turn over a new leaf… try to find a new place, and hopefully rid myself of all of this drama. Right now my education is what’s important to me, I’ve invested far too much to just turn around and go back home now. Not to mention that I’m going to be in debt up to my eyes, why waste it? Now while there is that half of me saying this, the other half is stuck up there with the last paragraph… wanting to leave this place to go back home. An education is great and all, but to deal with this kind of crap is just not making it any easier. There is a car alarm that has been going off every now and then, it’s starting to drive me crazy… as if I didn’t have trouble sleeping enough with this whole eviction thing going on, now I have a constant alarm going off in the parking lot and no one doing a damned thing about it! Not that it’s that big of a deal, it’s common out here. I think that I’m only making note of it now because I’m not sleeping, it’s like what I learned in critical thinking about the whole “it always rains on my day off” theory. Well it’s eleven now, and I still cannot sleep to save my life… I can’t help but wonder what tomorrow is going to bring. Am I going to have to catch a flight home? Will I get to leave this hell hole? Will this all blow over? Only time can tell I guess. But where there is an anxiety and an entire night of time to wait… there is no sleep. I think there is a fire across the street, that or it got really foggy out of no where… I’m going to check, I’ll be right back. Nope no fire, although that fog really came out of nowhere. It would be nice to go home and be with Kirstyn. Perhaps then we could stay together and go to college together somewhere. As nice of a thought as that is, I highly doubt it will work out. I miss her more than words can explain, I have a good feeling that she is the woman that I will be spending the rest of my life with… not to mention the fact that I can say that without a shred of doubt or fear in my mind. I just hope it all goes over as planned. Once again I’ve read over the entire thing… this is actually starting to get rather entertaining to read! I’ve also as of now decided to start adding afterthoughts, they are clearly marked and just personal opinions on certain topics and such. Damn it! I want to continue typing, but I’ve run out of things that are going on. Well now, days have passed since my last writing, and I’m still not sure whether or not I’m getting evicted. It’s kind of a confusing story so I’ll try my hardest to get it out right. As it stood that day, I was evicted… I couldn’t clear myself and I was to be out the following Monday (Which by the way is actually today, I should start making note of when I’m writing… or something like that.) Anywho! Over the weekend, stressing over where I’m going to stay a few things happened. First off I was calling around, letting people know what my situation was, and I stumbled across Noelle’s number. So I gave her a ring, to make the long story short a few noteworthy things that were mentioned during our conversation was the fact that she and her boyfriend split, and that if I needed to she would let me stay at her place. Cool, things were looking up! I had some groceries in the fridge, and a place to stay if I needed to. The next day while Zach wasn’t around and I happened to bump into Cordera, he tipped me off that he was going to go talk to the people over at R&R about my eviction to see if he couldn’t get me back in, and going with him to help out would be my other roommate who’s name I cannot spell for the life of me. Either way they went in today, and they apparently have to go back in tomorrow, but for some reason I don’t know what there plan is but I feel pretty good about this one. What’s really weird is I called the house after hearing what Cordera told me, and I had a conversation with Ray… I think it might’ve been one of my first. It really didn’t go all that bad either. And on a completely random note, Anton (The cool punk rock kid from the 17th floor with Mark) brought over a folder of his music to the house the other night. Now my collection of punk is ********’ huge! I have to admire an amazing collection that kid has… all in all I think he owns like three legal CD’s. Anywho, it’s good to kick back and listen to a bunch of new stuff… so I thought I would note it, thanks Anton! Oh here’s good news! Zach has officially decided that he is leaving to go back to Ohio! Good for him, I hope that things work out better for him out there. And on that note, THANK GOD HE’S LEAVING! Without him here maybe things will work better for me… I don’t exactly know what’s going to happen yet, but I know it will be a lot easier without him here. After all, it is mostly his fault that I’m getting evicted. I took up my responsibility at my end, and in the long run it nearly got me kicked out… but second offence!?! I think not! That was my first, and I backed it up with a solid alibi. Whatever though all in all I was in a good mood today, and I have a good feeling about what’s in the makings for me. I still don’t have a job yet… I really need to start working on that before it becomes a real problem… I cannot keep living off of my Grandmother for crying out loud! I’d like to say that I’ll work on that tomorrow but I highly doubt I’ll get around to it. This weekend when I have some time I will. For now I have enough catch up work to do, this whole eviction thing and everything else really slowed me down… it’s time to start studying my a** off! Besides all of that greatness going on there really isn’t much else to report. It’s weird saying what I said the other day compared to what I was writing just last time. Don’t get me wrong home still sounds nice and all, but I have to stay here… this whole hating Chicago thing is only a phase. I’m going to have to give it a lot more time before I can just go and say that this place sucks. One full year here sounds good for a clear judgment, if I don’t start liking it here within one school year, then I’ll consider going back home… but what I’ve gotten myself into is a major investment which in the long run is going to effect my entire future. Had I just dropped everything as soon as I heard of my eviction then I might’ve had some sort of regret about it. After all, I set out to become a famous fashion designer, and as god as my witness I will not stop until I’m satisfied with where I am! I just had a thought about one of my last conversations with Kirstyn. She had a great idea to get me back home for Christmas, she would pay for about half of my ticket, and my family would cover the rest. I really don’t care if I don’t get any gifts in place of coming home, I really could use the trip back. Things are still holding up well in the house, financially we still are ********, but everyone is still alive… and that’s what’s most important. I really hope I get a chance to get home for the holidays. It would be nice to see everyone again… this is exactly why I need to work on getting myself a job as soon as possible. Just sitting here thinking about back home is nice… I’ve had a really great time down there. This summer was amazing, I can’t wait to see what this coming one brings me! I’ll be sure to have everything figured out by then, a job, and some money in the bank. I know exactly what I have to do! I just have to get myself out there and find some good people to call friends, and start having a good time out here. It’s been about a month and a half since I left… and I really haven’t hung out with anyone in the entire time that I’ve been gone. I mean sure I’ve gone to a couple of parties, but aside from that I haven’t really accomplished anything. It’s a lot harder out here in the city than it is back home, that I can be sure of. Everyone out here is much more different than things were back home… hell you could practically walk up and make friends with complete strangers! (Believe me, I’ve done it!) Now that I think about it, I’m not really missing much back home right now… it’s the off season, there is more activity out here than back home by a long shot. I’ve just got to get myself out there and find some fun. Hopefully I don’t get evicted so I can actually spend some time here in the apartment while I figure things out. I could also get my packages sent in, oh how I miss my long board! And speaking of packages, one from Victor is coming in soon! Another carton of smokes and food! I can’t wait for that one. Wow I just have to stop and admire the fact that I’ve made it to page 18, not that it’s like the biggest accomplishment in the world but it means a lot to me knowing that I’ve actually written 18 pages about myself, and what goes on in this head of mine, and what’s happening to me day to day. And as it stands right now I’m working with around 9,600 words… which definitely marks the most I’ve ever written in my life, all in all I just wondered what the hell I’m actually going to do with this? For now I don’t know, but I’ll just keep on writing anyway. Oh yeah by the way about the modeling thing! What? You don’t remember me mentioning that over the summer I modeled? “This summer has been an interesting one to say the least, I've wound up Modeling,” Second Paragraph, first sentence… Okay well yeah, I finally got to see the picture! Steve was kind enough to put it up on my Myspace. My mother at the moment has my copy of the magazine, it will be in the next package sent to me. Maybe if I wind up turning this into a book I’ll use it as the cover photo! (I bet you more than anything that will get me into more trouble than it’s worth…) Anywho, I just wanted to add a little more on the subject… after all what good is it just mentioning something and leaving you all hanging? Well it’s November 15, Joseph’s birthday was today. It’s actually kinda tough not being there to see him and Dylan grow up. Anywho, Zach left tonight… it’s about time. I already miss TV though! I’ll have to talk to Lee next time I see her, she mentioned something about giving me the TV in her room because it was taking up too much room. All in all it’s really quiet here now, almost too quiet. Soon enough I’ll have to leave here too, I actually have until the 22nd to find a new place and move in… it really doesn’t sound that hard with all of the help that I’ve been getting. Victor says he knows some people out here he can talk to about a cheap place, the only down side is I’ll be living with old people… doesn’t sound that bad, I’ll just have to behave. And on top of that I have my mother looking online for some places. Who knows maybe I’ll find a place for less than $550 and I’ll actually make some money off of the deal, although it’s doubtful considering I’m looking for a studio that’s furnished. I started a facebook account last week; it’s like a myspace for college students and such. It had a pretty good turn out, I’ve met quite a few good looking girls through it so far, one of which messaged me last night at 2 in the morning (The pain in the a** part of it all was anytime I get a message my phone goes off letting me know). Her name is Grace, she seems pretty cool so far… she’s into anime, and she’s really cute! When I was talking about going out to find my fun, well this is actually helping my case quite a bit. Nobody really talks to one another on the streets out here, so the internet is a good way to actually break the ice with people. If I keep this up, and keep meeting more people who knows what’ll happen! Hopefully I’ll actually have a life again instead of having all of this time to sit here and write useless crap like this. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding…) Speaking of things to do, I’ve decided that I’ll check out the anime club meeting tomorrow at school. I figure it wouldn’t hurt to throw myself into a group of people that share the same interests. I think I’ll be wearing the Stampede duster for this one. Wow I’m really bored now. There is absolutely nothing here now, Zach took everything he came up with… even the shower curtain he bought, not that it matters much I think I’ve gone like 5 days now without a shower. Even though I thought Zach as a pain in the a** it’s just not the same with him gone… wait what the hell am I saying! I never have to worry about hearing him and those damned turntables again! Crap, I’ve got like 12 papers that I could be writing right now… I just don’t have the motivation or the information that I need to get the ball rolling on these projects. If I actually had the internet here it would make life a hell of a lot easier, but no… everyone in Chicago actually knows how to lock up an internet connection. It sucks, all of this money thrown into a formidable machine, and now it’s just sitting here crippled by the lack of internet. Hell I can’t even get a good connection at school! Well ******** it! I’m not tired at all, so I think I’ll go out and actually find a connection to work off of for the night. (By out, I mean outside of the apartment, not outdoors it’s too cold out there to run around connection hopping, not to mention it’s not that safe at this time of night either) Hopefully I’ll run into a power outlet too, I don’t want my baby dieing on me now… yeah I think I’m off to go work on that, I’ll probably be back in a few minutes. November 17, 2006… Well I wasn’t back in a few minutes, but I had a pretty good time while I was gone! I went out on the green line and basically wrote wherever I could, the last train back home was nearly empty so I managed to write on it 12 different times. I wound up not going to the anime club meeting… instead I hung out with Space Ghost in one of the computer labs while I waited for the latest Flyff installation to finish downloading. While I was hanging out with Space he tipped me off about the party that I’ll be going to tonight. I really could use a good party right about now, oh and to make it better Grace will be coming along with me! She wound up getting a hold of me while I was in the lab and I asked her if she wanted to tag along. Tonight should be a pretty good night if you ask me! Hopefully Space winds up coming through with this party thing, if not Anton told me about another party that he’ll be heading to. It’s always good to have a back up plan. Well all in all that’s about it with what’s going on… I’ll get back to you about this party tomorrow! s**t! I almost forgot, I’ve been working on my stenciling again!!! So far I’ve come up with a new bandit stencil that took me hours upon hours of cutting, but came out really great, and another with my old Cheat character holding up a bandit sign… that one came out alright, it’s really nothing special. Now all I have to do is get a hold of some cans! Maybe Rich Girl can pay me in advance for the shirt, that will provide me with a few shirts and some cans… I really cant wait to start stenciling things all over the place, I thought about it the other night while I was walking back to the apartment, I thought, “Well it’s official, I’ve dominated the marker world on the green line, but that’s really not going to get me anywhere, I’ve gotta get some cans and stencils so people know exactly how good I am!” I figure after I get some cans going it’ll only be a matter of time before people start recognizing my work and paying respect. People are going to be shocked when they see what I can come up with! Oh yeah, and I checked out a studio apartment at Lake Meadows… I think I’ll be taking it, although it’s going to take quite a while for me to get the whole place set up. I’m going to need to furnish the place and they did say I could paint too. But I don’t think I should just go crazy and start spraying the whole place down, it’ll just make it that much harder once I have to leave, not to mention affording paint is trouble as is, if I’m investing in paint then it’s going to be used on other walls… not my own. Okay this time I’m leaving for real! Bye now! Well it’s November 20 now, I’ve finally recovered from the weekend. Talk about a fun time, there was the party that Space told me about; then the day after that another at Isaac’s place… I wound up crashing there at the house Friday, and Saturday I wound up stumbling home around 3 in the morning… I didn’t make it home until 5. There was a lot of noteworthy things to write about, but I can’t exactly get into detail about it yet, I’m still in class right now… I’ll write more tonight. During the party Friday I met up with Brittany (Lee’s roommate), and when she heard about my recent condition with the eviction she offered to let me move in with them. I haven’t heard from here since then but I’m keeping my fingers crossed in hopes that it all works out… the rent will be cheap, and they are good people. I’ll actually be making money off of the school by going there, I haven’t calculated exactly how much but it should be around an extra $200 a month for myself, and getting $200 from the school for free a month will be really great. Okay I’m a lair, I am not writing this tonight, it’s two days after… but oh well, deal with it, but I told you I would talk about the party, so talk I will. Space’s party was definitely the better out of the two, although Isaac’s party was fun too. So anywho I’ll start off at Space’s party. It started off pretty slow, a few people there when we arrived, and a game of presidents and assholes being played… I wasn’t feeling much like a card player that night so I had a few beers while I watched the game from a distance. It was around this time that I started chatting with Brittany, so a few beers go by and then all of a sudden I spot a nice Graffix bong being carried into the kitchen to be filled… and that’s when I knew that this was going to be a pretty interesting night. It’s pretty funny while I was on my way there with Space he looked over at me and said, “You really don’t have any idea of what to expect tonight do you?” It’s true, I really didn’t… my first few parties here out in Chi-Town have been alright, but nothing like that. As far as parties go, that was the perfect party. Anywho, the bong gets brought into the living room and placed on the table around all of us smokers, people I never met, people I’ve never smoked with… among our smokers that night were Isaac, yes I just met Isaac that night… then there was Brice, an interesting kid that I can’t quite label, but a good guy none the less. The rest of the people that were smoking I don’t really remember. So yeah… we pack the bong a few times, then out of nowhere I suggest that we roll a joint, and they decided that since I was the one suggesting I had to roll it… rolling someone else’s weed into a joint is what I like to do best, and boy let me tell you this was quite a joint… it was two papers wide, and smoked perfectly… hell I even got Space to get in on it. Everyone loved my joint! Then my dumb a** suggests that we pack the oversized roach of ours into the bong… and that’s what did me in, a few hits on that and I spent the next few hours on the couch trying to get my soul back into my body… The few things I remember during this time were drunk calling Manny Chavez. That was a blast, and I also got a lap dance too! Okay on the whole lap dance thing, it goes much further than just a lap dance… so here it goes, Space had invited this girl himself, knowing that he was interested in getting with her, but besides that he really didn’t care that much. So eventually she winds up giving me a lap dance (conveniently just what I needed to get my soul back), so I start paying attention to what’s going on at this point. After that she wound up punching some Italian Boyo in the nuts because she called him gay and he pushed her up against the wall… I applauded that. So anywho! Some time goes by and Space comes up to me right around the table and asks if I’ve seen good ole Boyo around anywhere, I think about it for a second, and I told him no… he kinda just disappeared. Now Space is one really smart ******** because he wound up sitting there in front of the bathroom door deducting his thought of the chances of Boyo being in there with the girl. I stand there the whole time before the door is opened chatting it up about this subject loud enough for whoever was in the bathroom to hear. And it turns up Space was right! The girl wound up leaving the bathroom, and Space went in and opened the shower curtain and there he was standing in all of his stupidity… now after this happened Boyo was attached to Space. And he kept talking to him about how they were friends and s**t like that, then he would start ******** with him… at one point he pulled out a frying pan, and I was right next to him bullshitting with the rest of the party… I was ready to step in if I needed to, a frying pan is just not fair. Well it turns out that he put it away and some more time goes by so a few shots and a couple more beers as well… and then all at once it happened. All we see is Space chasing Boyo down the stairs, Boyo then fell in the chair closest to the door and the two start yelling face to face… it didn’t take very long but Space wound up choking out this kid. Later we found out that it was because he called the nice tiny girl of the house who’s name I can’t remember for the life of me a slut and b***h or something of the sort, and she it really cool so Space did what any man that heard that would’ve and chased the ******** down. After it all happened we got some great footage of Space doing a rant about the situation. All in all a few more hours go by, and a few more beers of course… and it winds up being 5 in the morning. So I asked for couch space, and went to bed… What a fun night that was. Okay well in reality it’s 1:23, and I just moved into Brittany and Lee’s place yesterday… I’m still rather tired… I’ll get back to you guys later.