*sigh* I hate thinking too much because then I feel like I'm being stupid and that I'm just overreacting about everything that I'm sad about... but then that just makes me more sad! and then I feel like an idiot for that.... and it's a vicious cycle, and I don't like it.
But you know, some people have REAL problems... like dying, and fatal sicknesses, and no place to live, or no clothes to wear. I'm fine. And yet... I believe I should be allowed to be sad? *scoff* Yeah right.
So then... what IS something worth being sad over? What's the dividing line? When can I be sad without feeling like I'll make someone think I'm just being a crybaby? Why can't I be sad that people make fun of me? I don't like it... shouldn't that be worth being at least a little bit sad over? I don't know... If I were to complain about it, and cry about it, I know the person would think I'm being dramatic.
....And it's always help me with this, help me with that. Can you do this for me? Do that for me? And I don't have the guts to ask for anything for myself. Or if I do ask, they don't care... and I'm just appalled that someone can actually just outright refuse to help someone else. I can't say no to helping someone. It's just not right... and yet no one helps me. Sure I occasionally get pity, a sorry here, a good luck there.... but never an straight up offer to help.
Where did chivalry go?
Why can't I be allowed to be sad?
Is my sadness even worth it?
And why don't you ever try to cheer me up when I'm sad?!?!
Why does it always turn into "a do it for me" type thing?
Why do you kick me when I'm down?!?!
I'm suffering, and all you can think is to make... it.... worse....?
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