Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I remember the first image ive ever had i woke up and i saw my sister and my mom just leaning over and smileing at me and i yell'd saying ''who are you! what ami? what are these words'' then that memorys fades awayi lived with my mom my hole life love her to death and my two sisters we use to live in the ghetto i was care free and had nothing on my mind but just to live life and enjoy it while i was there in the ghetto i met two friends we always had adventure's with always doing bad things but haveing no morale's of what we did i remember the first house we rob'dwell not house wear house it was in the process of being built and the front door was open'd stressed idiots i swear and we just explored around in the middle of the day just looking at stuff playing with it not careing and we kept going back to that house just damageing it recking the place up and we got bored with that place so we went to the reabillatation house next door to us the wearhouse was next to the reabillatation house and we lived next to them both we just walked there 4laugh anyways so we broke in there through the basement they had bullet proof windows useless stare we kickd it all in together and i think one of them was the first one down them me then his lil brother we even had a lil nickname ''The ruthless Bandit's'' rofl funny right well at the time i thought it was cool the place was empty though so we just explored the place and it was cool because it was like walking into a new clean home i moved around alot and oregan was one of my many move's so the next day theres a lady on the porch and i see my moms friend with the lady she knew we did it but dared not tell the lady so we walked up casually and we asked what happend and the lady said some people broke in and i asked did they take anything? she responded with a no and i said i hope you catch them and me and the guys walked back to my place and i was young and the this time some older kid who wasa semi friend of mine wanted to check out the warehouse so i took him there i had no idea the people would come there so me and him are there we hear people we run and split up he gets caught first i haul a** to the roof but the guy saw me and i go down there police are there i think nick was his name was crying i was too young to understand all the trouble i was ''supposedly'' in and i just sat there looking around and i was put in the back ofa cop car and i noticed the camera and i just stared and waved at it my mom comes out and she has her arms crossed giveing me a nod only being mad at the fact i was caught she knew the hole time but after a while i get off the loose and i leave with out a slap on the rist and the guy who owns the place told me they had camera's and i thought to myself ''oh s**t!'' because i actually jerk'd off there -.- but it didint bother me i guess some one out there has pictures of my slapin the ol' monkey so i dont go breaking into places after a while and i had a lizard named ferile i loved her to death we been through alot together homeless shelters and shitty places andall so one day i live next to these russians and implaying a video game and my sisters are crying saying they killed my lizard they poked her with sticks my family left to go to the store and came back i didint cry i was in shock i didint see her or watch her my mom buried her and i wanted pay back so i got my crew up and running again and we brake into there house while there gone and i piss on there floors and take there saveings they kept ina coke bottle and some nick nacks some cool snow globes and left and after awhile everything was ******** perfect life was peechy then everyone from the ghetto started to move and soon after we moved too and we moved to anicer place where i be friend'ed two kid's named miles and moya the fascinated me because they were nice and funny and they had a cool house but my house was cool at the time i thought it would be a permenant place but turns out it was for rent anyways we always just hung out dicked around doing stupid crap and one day i had a trampoline at my house and i climbed out my bathroom window and jumped onto the trampoline blaugh and we moved again leaving my friends but i missed a girl i had my first crush on she lived else where and i think she was fond of me too but shes old s**t now i forgot about her but when i left i kept a piece of miles and moya in my head there phone number i rememberd it my hole life till this day i dont think i should say it online though XD the but the rest of my life gets boreing so ill fastforward it to my current life so i dont care much about my dad cuz he was in prison for something i dont know i forgot i didint care i was happy with out him so one day he gets out i go over to his house spend some days there go back home its like a routine and one day i go to his house with my sister izzy he lays the ''im stupid thing(dont have good grades moved around too much) and dont u wanna be succesfull'' those words hit me like bullets the man scared me i remember tiny images of him in my head not happy ones anyways he lays that s**t down on me yelling ranting forceing me to stay with him and im too scared to say no im in tears just trying not to let out any more and i lived with him it was the most depressing and darkest days of my life i wanted out of it my mom calls me and says is this what you want? im too scared to say no to her because if she says it to my dad he may keep me by force and ruin things i cry a little and say yes then hang up on her so she doesint get any hint i lived with him so long i thought id never leave that cold b*****d the only happyness i got was from the pure place i hated but this school was nothing the kids who acted tuff and were bullys were jokes compared to kids in the ghetto my first fight there was with the guy named juan he just made fun of my clothes and for being quite cuz i was new and had no friends i turnd around in gym i grab for his neck hopeing to choke him out he was tuffer he got out of the grip of my hands so i then black out and begin to slam my fist into his head then i violently grabd his shirt while he was dazed and i bashed my head into his and i faintly remember us both smileing as he bled out his mouth i stopd when the gym teacher called out and it was like i just woke up i got home my dad was proud of me (for the first time) and i wanted to make him happy so he told me to never take any disrespect i took that too heart sweatdrop and this kid named eddy was cussing at me he was just s**t talker so i waited for him to say it again in gym he sits down i walk up from behind him and start bashing his ******** head in hes scared and crying coach says stop and like that i stopd i felt bad about it i hated what i was becomeing my dad was getting sick of the phone calls and haveing to go to school to pick me up and the next fight i got into was on the bus this kid kept shoveing me cuz i was too close to him and there was no room on the bus so i turn around and hit him a couple of times and he curls up into a ball? and i see his friend just running his mouth i was in the black out mode and for some reason i fix my gaze on him and attack him and start to choke him out and slam his head into the window the last fight i got into was this guy name franky he was a beefy tall looking mexican this guy i was a lil bit afraid of he was a bully in the locker rooms one day im just sick of his s**t and he stops me and tells me to walk around and i said ******** you he puts his arm on my shirt and i snaped and blackd out and start hitting that fat bulky face of his and he hits me once in the jaw but my adrenaline is going and i dont feel anything and the coach tells me to stop and again like im hypnotized and he just snaped his fingers and i wake up he puts me into the coachs lounge and i see frankie's eyes watering up and he Never botherd me again.... but i had to quit fighting or else id get expelld and my dad was no longer happyso i wasint happy then one dad my sisters come to my dads and i get to spend time with my mom im happy when i get to be with her and the day is soon over and i go back to the man i dispise the most and my sisters are there and they live there i just kept thinking ''no!! i dont want them to suffer iether no please god just keep me here not them let them go back'' we all hated it there and when they were gone i tried suicide i couldint handle another second with that man so i took his pills and downd a bunch of them and cryd because i thought it was the end so i just sat on the coach just waiting around with a note i put on the table just saying i cant live with it any more but its midnight nothings happend i see there car pulling and i dispose of the paper and act like everythings cool but after a long time me n my sisters get to visit my mother and i get into the habit of smokeing i didit at kales house just to get back at my dad and..... that was random anyways im with my mom and my dad poisions my mind with his s**t telling me shes a drugie and i yell at her calling her a tweaker and she slaps me and decides to keep us here because she knows i got that from my dad (she did do drugs though she just couldint tell me) so i live with my mom now running away from my dad and im happy again but im scared of life right now im majorly lacking in education and i dont know how ill survive maybe ill just steal stuff wind up in jail like my dad.... naw ill be better then that ******** and my mom one day tells me im not his son my real father flaked on me he was a some what crazy dude my mom thought he was funny at the time and he ran away from takeing care of me and i realized im more alone in this world i would gladyly give my life away to my family but i have no full blooded sisters but that doesint matter i guess i love them the same and here iam now.