Okay. This isn't a poem but I need somewhere to vent my feelings, and quite frankly I'm just too lazy to write.
I feel like something is missing; I kind of feel like I just don't belong in this body. (No, I'm not talking about a sex-change) I just feel like this isn't ME. Something is just... supposed to be here but I don't know what. My mom once told me that when most people get those feelings, that's why they resort to alcohol. Luckily, I've seen how alcohol can tear families apart, ruin lives, and kill people. (Yes, all of those have happened in my family.) So... if I don't need alcohol, what IS it that I'm missing? After talking to my friend, I think I understand.
It's nothing major- nothing that I won't get over. I think that all I need right now, is to be by Max's side... or someone that I truly love.... Which... well, that pretty much means Max. -_-; Sometimes I fear that when I get these empty feelings that something is missing, I one day will resort to alcohol- but I really hope not. It DOES run in the family so I know it's likely that one day I will drink, but I really try hard to look at all of the negative effects. If I could just be with Max though... I think that would fill the empty piece inside of me. Even if it'll be awhile- if ever- that we are able to physically be there for each other, you'll still always be in my heart. (And hopefully we'll be able to see each other memorial day weekend!!!)
Max, for those of you who don't know, is my boyfriend. And since this is a public journal and alot of random people will be reading it, perhaps I should say a bit about him.
Well, I won't give you a life story, but I'll tell you that he's one of the most amazing people on this planet. I want to say that he IS the most amazing person, but I don't know everyone on the planet so... I can't make that call. >.< However, to me, Max is the most amazing sweetheart that I've ever even dreamed about. He's my prince charming- even though... I never really needed a Prince Charming. He's more than I deserve. Besides his jaw-dropping looks, he really can unleash the happiness inside of me, whcih I usually find to be hiding. We've suffered 3 long months of arguing and fighting but at the same time... We've cherished 3 months of unending happiness that went by to fast. (And luckily for us, those 3 months will never end... I know we'll always have each other.) I don't want to say too much more about him- I wouldn't want him getting upset at me or anything ; ; But at any rate, that's a summary of my boy- well.... Soon-To-Be Husband =)
Okay, so now that you know who Max is, I guess you can understand why I feel so empty when we're not together... unforunately, the two of us live distant from each other but we can and WILL continue to stay strong to make this relationship work. Please comment if you desire (Er... I think you can, atleast. I'm not sure if I changed it in my settings o.o; ) I'd love to know what you think about this feeling that I keep getting- perhaps some of you have felt it too?
I feel like something is missing; I kind of feel like I just don't belong in this body. (No, I'm not talking about a sex-change) I just feel like this isn't ME. Something is just... supposed to be here but I don't know what. My mom once told me that when most people get those feelings, that's why they resort to alcohol. Luckily, I've seen how alcohol can tear families apart, ruin lives, and kill people. (Yes, all of those have happened in my family.) So... if I don't need alcohol, what IS it that I'm missing? After talking to my friend, I think I understand.
It's nothing major- nothing that I won't get over. I think that all I need right now, is to be by Max's side... or someone that I truly love.... Which... well, that pretty much means Max. -_-; Sometimes I fear that when I get these empty feelings that something is missing, I one day will resort to alcohol- but I really hope not. It DOES run in the family so I know it's likely that one day I will drink, but I really try hard to look at all of the negative effects. If I could just be with Max though... I think that would fill the empty piece inside of me. Even if it'll be awhile- if ever- that we are able to physically be there for each other, you'll still always be in my heart. (And hopefully we'll be able to see each other memorial day weekend!!!)
Max, for those of you who don't know, is my boyfriend. And since this is a public journal and alot of random people will be reading it, perhaps I should say a bit about him.
Well, I won't give you a life story, but I'll tell you that he's one of the most amazing people on this planet. I want to say that he IS the most amazing person, but I don't know everyone on the planet so... I can't make that call. >.< However, to me, Max is the most amazing sweetheart that I've ever even dreamed about. He's my prince charming- even though... I never really needed a Prince Charming. He's more than I deserve. Besides his jaw-dropping looks, he really can unleash the happiness inside of me, whcih I usually find to be hiding. We've suffered 3 long months of arguing and fighting but at the same time... We've cherished 3 months of unending happiness that went by to fast. (And luckily for us, those 3 months will never end... I know we'll always have each other.) I don't want to say too much more about him- I wouldn't want him getting upset at me or anything ; ; But at any rate, that's a summary of my boy- well.... Soon-To-Be Husband =)
Okay, so now that you know who Max is, I guess you can understand why I feel so empty when we're not together... unforunately, the two of us live distant from each other but we can and WILL continue to stay strong to make this relationship work. Please comment if you desire (Er... I think you can, atleast. I'm not sure if I changed it in my settings o.o; ) I'd love to know what you think about this feeling that I keep getting- perhaps some of you have felt it too?
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-Max