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Theres one thing most people want. Do you know? I do. Just about everyone wishes to be loved or someone to be close to. They say everyone has a true love but there are some people in the world that do not get to see that love and they die before they do. I thought about this many times and thought possibly...the reason why they never saw it is because they became closed off to the person that may have tried to have something with them and then they just push them away because they don't want to get hurt again. They believe there is no one and that is their downfall. But then...what if that person just isn't supposed to have a lover in that life time even though there is one for them? The universe is very confusing and not many people can understand its true intentions.

Most people go about their lives with friends and family and possibly a loved one more close then anyone else. Even though their friends are important that one person is still above all. I always wanted friends to be close with and cuddle but there was not one who did that.

Its different for boys then it is for girls for me. A girl can hug me and it just be like...to show affection. But a boy could hug me and it mean something completly different or a possible mix of emotion. They could be a friend but I feel a stronger connection to a boy then I do a girl. Yet I can talk to a girl more easyer then a boy. Even in straight boys, they still have a thing with their own selves that is close to another boy. Like, playing basketball or just hanging out and watching movies and sharing thoughts about whatever.

I may have a boys body, but my mind is mostly female. Which is why I think I can connect to woman more easyer and why I wear womans clothing. Where for men I am attracted to them and feel more physically and alot of the time emotionally close with them. For woman its more like of a understanding of thoughts more then emotion.

I continue to live in life but yet I find no love what so ever in anyone, at least not to the extent that I can love. I was never really good enough for people and some wern't even good for me. So the question almost everyone asks is when. When will I find the right person? When will our paths meet? Only the future can answer that but waiting is nearly half the battle of love. For when you meet you may have problems of loving them because of past situations you were in. Whatever the case...it isn't love that has the problem, it is the people that has that love. I just hope that when I do meet his person...it will be for real and not some online relationship. Or if it is an online one...hopefully they live close by. But at this point it just seems so lost like it will never happen. But then...I could be wrong, I have been wrong before so...I hope I am wrong now.

Weither love exists or not there are continuous meetings of people that have it and still...I do not see it happening for me. But as I said, only time can tell for anyone searching or wanting love.