Okay so I am just sick about how I get treated now even though I am not in a relationship with this guy anymore. He says how I hurt him, well he hurt me alot to but all he sees is his emotions where I am trying to see his...it doesn't seem like he even cares about mine.
He had brung up about how I sighed and said he was sorry because he felt it was about his new bf. Well, it bothered me a little but thats natural and I really didn't want to talk about it cuz I didn't want to make him feel bad about how I felt. Well, I ended up saying it anyways and usually when I say something I say it in the only way I know how but he says I said it wrong. WTF, HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO ******** SAY IT IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO!? scream
I'm getting tired of this crap about how I am so bad to him emotionally. Well, he is to me to and it does hurt. He may care about my feelings but he sure has a hard time realizing about how I hurt to and not just him. I know plunty of times he hurt me and the feeling just stayed there but I didn't run away from it like he did. He says I hurt him alot and that he just couldn't handle me. I asked him what makes him think he can handle me now and he said that its cuz we're just friends. Well, I don't know anymore. Its becoming really stupid and hes making it where I have to distant my self from him because he is making it difficult for me to talk to him because he takes everything I say the wrong way. I can't express my self properly with out him getting upset so its probably just better that I either stay away for a while or just stop it right now...
He has somebody else and I just have to accept that he is. I don't know what to do anymore...a war rages on in my body everyday for my inner self searching, trying to find the lost answers to my questions. Him harrassing me about how I hurt him isn't making it any better. Sure, hes happy but I am not completly and this is why I must go deep within my own self to find what I need to move on from this never ending war of emotions within my self.
This time...I ran out on him because I am sick of the crap and being treated like I am the only one who did wrong. HE DID WRONG TO BUT HE ACTS LIKE HE DID NOTHING! So whatever, I need to just relaxe and take a breather...
To the ones that know me best and try to make it better for me, I thank you all and love you dearly. I never could of made it with out those people. heart
~Still searching in darkness~
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Any choice you make can change your future, in this world there is only one possible past for all of us but it contains an infinite number of futures.
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Well, anyway, Kyle was much of a runner himself too, but I sometimes wonder why he would lead on like that if he was only going to turn away and become cold towards me. . . oh, wellz. The past is the past and I forgive him. . . though the pain he put me through nearly made me kill myself eek