As a tribute to the ninja on askaninja.com I shall write out the entire Ninja omnibus episode on his websight, including the writers bad grammer, for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
TarTarus ASKS A NINJA: Will there ever be another Ninja omnibus agian?
Ninja: No... (looks around shiftily, and after a long pause) Climb abord the omnibus!
Jeff ASKS A NNINJA: Who killed Kennedy?
Ninja: A ninja. On a shadowy knoll...
Max ASKS A NINJA: Can a ninja really disappear?
Ninja: No. I don't see how they could. (Ninja turns invisible). You kids quite down back there or I will turn this omnibus around!
Chelsey ASKS A NINJA: Are the people you kill bad in anyway?
Ninja: YEAH! Yeah... BAD AT LIVING!
Derrick ASKS A NINJA: Have you killed the wrong person on accidentally?
Ninja: Oh yeah! All the time! They shouldn't have named so many kids Trever in the 90's.
Ross & Eric ASKS A NINJA: What does a ninja smell like?
Ninja: Regret.
Wael ASKS A NINJA: Does the ninja use any kind of magic?
Ninja: Yup. Absolutly any kind of magic.
Jason ASKS A NINJA: What CAN'T a ninja do?
Ninja: Not be a ninja. (mysteriously) Or can he?
Mehar ASKS A NINJA: Could u do an episode about how many lies a ninja can make up in a minute?
Ninja: No! What are talking about? There's, uh, there's a law against it. My hampster ate the list, and then my hampster was eaten by a thing with... two... heads... (looks around shiftily).
Anthony ASKS A NINJA: Can I have it back?
Ninja: You never had it to begin with. We are omnibussing, baby!
Owen ASKS A NINJA: Why are Ninjas called Ninjas?:
Ninja: Be... (pauses) 'cause they're ninjas!
Allison ASKS A NINJA: Why do I suck at life???
Ninja: Because you let life suck at you.
Christopher ASKS A NINJA: (all said in one breath) If you could kill any historical figure or figures, who would you kill, how would you kill them, and why?
Ninja: (nodding) Yes...
Matt ASKS A NINJA: How do Ninja's raise their Children?
Ninja: From the dead.
Steven ASKS A NINJA: Why haven't ninjas taken over the world?
Ninja: We have! This is exactly how we want it!
George ASKS A NINJA: How can I best apply my psychology degree to my ninja skills, or vice versa?
Ninja: Try smoking cigars with your mother! Or vice versa... ninja
Dane ASKS A NINJA: (all said in one breath) My brother Paul is thinking of moving back to his home state of Ohio from Pennslvania. Would the Ninja kindly endorse this idea because we want him back home and he values your opinion?
Ninja: Sure! Absolutely... Run Paul! Run! Anywhere but Ohio! There's a cult of clinging dysfunctional clan of wierdos there that is trying to drag you into a monotonous hell of watery chili and mediocre sports franchises!
Marko ASKS A NINJA: Is it hard to be a Ninja?
Ninja: It's harder not to be a ninja.
Andrew ASKS A NINJA: Did you ever do any of the following? Ride the wing of a 747? Use a boiling hot burrito as a weapon? Fight with an alien?
Ninja: Yes, I actually have. All of them at the same time.
Dan ASKS A NINJA: Hey are there self help books for lousy ninjas?
Ninja: Yes. Ther're called funeral directories.
King ASKS A NINJA: What should I be for Halloween?
Ninja: Quiet.
Jacob ASKS A NINJA: What is the difference between Jedi and Ninjas?
Ninja: Jedi are tucked away safely on your DVDs, ninjas are standing right behind. Seriously.
Michael ASKS A NINJA: What is the most deadliest move you know?
Ninja: Probably from New York to Florda. People don't come back!
Ryan ASKS A NINJA: Why can't ninjas just hire rabid squirrels to do their bidding?
Ninja: Oddly enough, they're unionized. Just to darn expensive!
Michel ASKS A NINJA: Did you ever went to school?
Ninja: Did you?
Sean ASKS A NINJA: Could you beat Ryu Hayabusa, Ninja Gaiden, Nurato, ((yes, they spelled it Nurato... sad...)), Scorpion...
Ninja: They're video games. I can beat video games... With the exception of Cadimari. I fall asleep! Just a huge ball of boring...
Sean ASKS A NINJA: Have you ever used replacement words for swear words?
Ninja: Lark no! Why the loop would I be queekin' that?!
Roopak ASKS A NINJA: Ninja, oh Ninja, wherefore art thou Ninja? Hast thou ben slain by a Ninja who is yet more skilled than thou art?
Ninja: Yes. There are gay ninjas.
Ryan ASKS A NINJA: Who was the badass Ninja who trained you?
Ninja: His name was Badass! Sir Badass Killington.
Emma ASKA A NNJA: What do you think?
Ninja: Maybe! It'll take a lot of work, and someone on the inside! I could call in a few favors, but only if you're really serious... The blue one...
Jonah ASKS A NINJA: Do ninjas ride bicycles?
Ninja: No. We ride diecycles. And we never shorten the name!
(Gun shot)
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Ninja: I know that's not a question, but um... I just thought that was kind of cool...
Jacob ASKS A NINJA: Are there any renegade ninjas?
Ninja: There are a few. One of them is actually an accountant in Orange County. Talk about goin' off the reservation...
Tom ASKS A NINJA: Do ninjas fall in love?
Ninja: No. Ninjas glide silently into love with two sword drawn!
d**k ASKS A NINJA: How many people have you wrongly killed?
Ninja: Just one. But, I went back the next day, and killed him correctly!
(No name): What would you say is the proper etiquette for hugging a ninja?
Ninja: Don't!
(No name): Do ninjas hold any world records?
Ninja: Nope. We break 'em all. Every day.
(No name): Deal or no deal?
Ninja: Deal! No deal! N-n-n-n! No wait! Uhg... Heh, don't want to end up with one doller!
Anna ASKS A NINJA: What was your favorite board game as a little ninja?
Ninja: Duck. It basically just involved someone swinging a board at you as fast as they could, and you not trying not to get hit. I miss Joey... He was never any good at that game...
Keith ASKS A NINJA: What abbreviations do ninjas use?
Ninja: (punching) Hya!
Ed ASKS A NINJA: What do you think of Tom Cruise as the Baddest Samurai ever?
Ninja: Tom Cruise was pretty bad... but I've seen worse. There was actually a samurai named Pickup, who killed himself with a pen while he was signing up to become a samurai.
David ASKS A NINJA: Do ninjas run cross country?
Ninja: Sure. Heck, my morning jog consists of me running across several countries. I'll get up at about 5:00am and then run at the Earth's rotation untill... well untill 5:00am 'cause it's... 'cause it's, just crossing time zones... I'M GONNA NEED A DIAGRAM!
Kristen ASKS A NINJA: Are there any handicapped Ninja's out there?
Ninja: Excuse me, they actually prefer to be called handikillables.
Jon ASKS A NINJA: Can Ninjas use hats and moustaches or do they have to rely on their sneaking skills to fool their enemies?
Ninja: (wearing a sombrero and a moustache) Don't be ridiculous!
Ninja: Thanks for the question... ...Everybody! I look forward to killing you soon!
NinjaShade_04: Alright that's it... Now go watch it! askaninja.com
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ninja said "really funny"