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Seems like every damn day that passes by makes me feel even worse about myself and I dont know why. Like Im turning from human to a ghost, and that feeling is always inside of me...I cant be trusted, respected, cared, or even helped sometimes by this feeling. And worse, there are some people out there who think that they are not cared for, but their always wrong...Im having the same ideal here...I really care about this person...but...seems like that person just thinks no one cares about.

Guess this is what life mainly is, to survive alone and die alone...eh, we have to all be left alone eventually right? I can say over 100 things on what caring for a person is and still it wont matter whether it changes the person Im speaking to or now, they wont care, all they care about is themselves or their pathetic lives...sorry...but...this is what I feel. Life is worth living of course, but love and care...can we all really prosper without it...sure as hell I have...or...for some time actually. So, yea whatever...life goes on I guess even if the people you care about deeply dont know you do care because they wont believe it...so pointless to continue but Im no quitter.

So is there something wrong that Im doing, something Im not doing enough to show that I care, something that should be done in order for those to see...what...even I cant come up with an answer to my questions...oh well, like it'll matter anyways. Rather be in pain than in darkness...two different things by the way, pain...it hurts...darkness...it cloud up...like being blind and cant see whats ahead...even if love was in your face. I dont even feel like I have the energy left in me to continue this life...and yet something is telling me to not give up yet. Well, I wont quit no matter what...but the only thing I'll keep with me in the end of this is more pain than care...its all Ive ever felt anyways so...yea...

I believe that perhaps people should think positive even if they feel bad about their lives, they think no one will care for them...and those people are always wrong you know? I for a fact care deeply about someone like I said before, but does she know...or dont want to know? Or doesnt even care whether I do care or not...so...again...pain gets me really well when it comes to things like this...which is why I wonder...is love really a cure to loneliness....because if it was I wouldnt be alone at all....but love likes to hurt than to heal...oh well, like it matters, I have people I love and care for but few of does people dont care, dont know it, know it but dont say anything, or just plain know it and care. Well...thats all for now, I cant write anything else...