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did you know what happend 8 days ago. my mom had a surious heart attack
do you know what im going threw right now. death threats
do you know what i do to get rid of the pain. get drunk and other stuff.
do you know the real me. im shy and hard to get to know. im bipoler. and hard forgiver. i dont hold on yet i dont forget. i remeber who hurt me and how. and it's hard for me to forgive.
do you know what i have to face every day. threat's. and i have to run home every day to avoid them. i carry a knife with me every day to school.
do you know how i try and get around my problume's. i run in my room lock the door blast the music and hide in the closit trying to find some one to talk to.
i bet that you dont know what i do affter school. im eather in band hall or trying to get rid of the pain. and at night on saterday's i go to my friend's we talk about our problume's while drinking. he is the ONLY one that realy understand's me. and this isnt evan close to knowing me. i surch for the right one. i hide in the darkness of shadows to get away from the pain i feel. i get harrassed for my sexuality. i got beatup, or chased every day affterschool at highland, i had a bf. he moved. he was gone for a long time. then he was on. so i thought. it was his brother. he sead that acouple month's ago he got hit bye a car wile crossing the street and landed hard. then entered a coma then then a month later i talked to him. he sead he was going to commit suicide. i tryed to talk him out of it. then i hured a loud bang. he didit. i found out the nexed that he shout himself in the head threw the mouth. so yea. how do you think i felt being almost there when my bf died. how would that make you feel. hearing your lover shoot him/her self. that was on sunday. and my friend's mom is a syciatrist and sead that there is no such thing as being bi. your eather strait or gay. and i was like then y do i like both then. and she sead that it was cuz im confused. then i sead no ******** way. evan though i just told her that i was confused then we whent over it again. i told her to ******** off and then went yout the door. and when in my room and looked at a pic of my dead bf jake. do you know how hard it is to live now. how much pain i feel. why i need a GOOD FRIEND to talk to. y i try and talk to some one so much. or wy you get so many text messages frome me. if you see me. eather talk to me. or just say high. i do care about all of yall evan though i might not seem like it. i do. i just cant explain it any more. i need some one to talk to. some one that understand's my life, and what im going threw. some one that can relate them self to me. plz if your out there plz tell me. i need some one. i need some one to talk to. i dont whant to die.