March first- My 19th birthday. Most people celebrate birthdays, and usually I do too. Not this time though... This birthday felt more like a punishment...
Very soon after my previous Journal entry, my girl 'Lanna emailed me. (This journal entry won't make much sense without reading the following one) She was home safely and had a "very important" question to ask me. Of course, I couldn't call her, and she could never really call me, so email had to do.
The email was assuring me that she was safe, with other things strewn about in the letter. The problem here in lies in the "important question" she needed to ask. If her spelling wasn't so god awful I'd just copy and paste that portion of the letter. But she said, "My father said that you admitted to being in your mid-twenties and was glad that you got me to believe you were 18, turning 19. Kind of like leading a double life." Now, I was pissed. EXTREMELY F--KIN' ANGRY! How DARE that son of a b***h lie about me, to his daughter about something so hanus and stupid! How DARE 'Lanna even ask me if he was lying or not! ...Anyway, I was at a friend's house when I saw the email so I didn't have much choice but to keep my cool about it.
Now, I understand that 'Lanna was just making sure this didn't happen and I really wasn't lying. But it actually offended me that she would even BEGIN to believe such nonsense. Why did she even have to question me? Why couldn't she tell that what her father said was an absolutely insane and frankly retarded lie to get her to dislike me? Even if it was true, why would I be so stupid as to tell her father about it if I was going to lie about it?! All of this and more runs through my head and I may be jumping to conclusions, but... it feels like she doesn't trust me. It seems as though this would have never even came up in such a manner if she already trusted and believed what I said.
Now, I also understand that it's her father so she is a bit more inclined to what he may say. BUT, being the rude, abusive, racist, evil, lying p***k he is, you'd think she'd have been a bit brighter about it, ya know? Which is why I feel like she doesn't trust me...
See how this pertains to my birthday? The one person I want to talk to the most today and I can't because her parents are psychotic and evil. And to top it off that person I wish to talk to doesn't even believe I'm me! This birthday is meaningless! She thinks I'm in my mid-twenties when I just turn 19!
*He sighs deeply* This is what music is for. I can go in my room when no one is around and just yell and scream my problems away. Singing "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cryyyy if I want to, cryyy if I want to!" Yeah, pretty gay for me to be singing, but I like the song and it's catchy. Hah hah, and it's how I feel, ya know?
By the way, if you could tell me the artist and actual name of the song, that'd be nice. Heh, incidently, I don't know either.
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Isaiah's Path to Greatness
This journal is just about my assorted dealings, relationships, and things of that sort.
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Bastionize
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Graceful Aedos Community Member 
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As for Allanah and her parents...as much as I don't want you to give up on love you may at least want to try your best to put this one behind you. She obviously isn't mature enough to read through her own parents lies, and psycho parents don't get better. Believe me I would know. (I still may have on my record suspicion of kidnapping and aiding the delinquency of a minor. Argh.)
Take what good things you have right now (i.e. happy memories of Allanah and the feeling of having loved someone) and move on with your life. It is the only way the hurting will stop.
It's kind of sad how to make the pain stop we always have to hurt a little more first? I am here if you ever need anything and I am actively trying to get my phone back on, be good!!
~Jesse