I can't do this....
You just don't know how bad I need you...but I can't just tell you what it is I need, because what I want I could never have. It's just like that. But then I think of how hard you've held your hand out to me...I take it...but then hurtfull words from the past come back...and get upset and I let go again...I'd tell you what they were whispering but...I fear that wouldn't help things. I keep saying to leave me because I'm hopeless...I was once that cheery light that was always lighting peoples paths...but now I'm nothing...nothing but a toy...nothing but a child...nothing...without you. That's how I feel, so now what? School? School is like a torture house now...now watch...as I fail all my classes and bleed from the inside out...but what does it matter...I'll be gone soon enough right? Then no one will be troubled by my overly depressing air, right? As long as all of you are happy, I'll try and keep to myself...Which is why, Malon, I haven't been talking to you much....I didn't want to make you unhappy...So sorry. I don't want to be alone...I don't want...to be without you... cry
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