But I'm nto sure I know I care about this person more than I ever have anyone else and I know that I can't really imagine life without them. They are my best friend I ahve never felt as close to someone as I do them. I'm not even sure what being in love means but I know that I would give up lmost everything for this person and all I want is for them to be happy. They are my foudation. They are the reason I am still alive today. I know that I love them....alot and I know that alway want to be around them and find it hard to be happy when I am not talking to them because they seem to be the only person able to cheer me up. they went through alot with me...from the betrayle to the heartache and back. But since we live so very far apart I fear that one day my computer won't work or something and I never get to talk to them again. I really can't imagine life without them. I need this person I want this person and I wouldn't feel right without this person in my life as a friend or otherwise. I think this person knows who they are and to them I would like to say that I love you and that I wold never do anything to upset youor hurt you I just like making you happy and I hope tht you can forgive me for my recent behavoir so that I may continue to make you happy or at least try. I don't know if you care about me this much or what and rankly I don't care I just want you to be in my life for a long time I will always love you no matter what happens and I will always be there for you if you need me. You are my best friend, my protecter, my advisor, and my adorable love. I'm just scared of losing you and i don't think that I could have the energy to live on without you. I don't want to live without you thats why I get so jelous thats why I freak out and cry when ever your not on....because I love you so much. I really don't wanna have a future if your not in it just even as my friend. Everyone says oh it's just a guy but no it's more than that it's the only real friend I've ever ha it'sthe only person ina long time that I eel like I can trust. but i find myself unable to trust him because of how much I've been hurt before.I really dn't think I woldhave a point in life without this person or someone like this person to love. I'm not sure why I feel like this they are the antithisis opf what I would once say that i wanted ina guy but I giess I don't know what I want because this person is making me ver happy while wedo get in th occasional fight which i will stop picling because nothing is worth losing them over.
Is it that I've never had a truer friend or is it that I have fallen for this person?
What if I do something stupid like I always do and he ends up hating me or leaving me like Doped did?
Can I trust my heart this time after it ended up decieving me last time?
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