In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.
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On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No
purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do
not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be
hot after heating."
(...and you thought????. ..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron
clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery after taking this
medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???.. ..)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or
outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for
the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh..fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening
somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn
to spread the "you-know-what" and send this to someone
you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...
in other words send it to everyone.
We all need to smile every once in a while..ha ha ha lol lol
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"Everything that happens once can never happen again,
but everything that happens twice will surely happen a
third time"..[The Alchemist].. .
reinerbryan Community Member 
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