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There is a part of me
That feels I am different from everyone else.
Something that I can't quite see,
Something that I can't quite feel,
Something so unreal.
But this 'thing' is always there,
This 'thing' with others, I will never share.
So I push it to the back of my mind,
All the thoughts of boys and clothes
And make-up, it is hiding behind.
Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten,
It comes back with such ferocity,
Angry and unforgiving.
I feel so lost and sad,
Whatever caused this feeling
Must have been so horrible and bad.
A lost memory or something else,
I'll never know,
Whatever it is,
I know for sure,
I can never let this feeling show.
As you can probably tell from reading this poem. There is something bothering me. Well there is.. But I can't quite seem to figure out what it is exactly, it's like a bunch of little stuff and some stuff I have no clue on.. I mean my 'boyfriend' Rick and I, I honestly don't think we're gonna be actually a couple much longer, I dunno.. He's been acting kinda weird lately. So I have no clue. Umm.. Then an old friend came back around a few days ago and apperantly he likes me.. But I am really not intrested in anything real serious right now. I am just trying to get my shi* straight. Ya kno what I mean. I have so much to do between now and may25 when I graduate that I am honestly scared to graduate. I am scared to go out into the real world. i have no idea what i am going to do for a career. i mean right now i am 18 and work as a waitress as a strip club.. so yeah.. I have no idea..
But i know something that is bothering me is Yakumo(cody){ex bf} I have something VERY Important that i need to tell him but i can't bring myself to tell him at skool becuase it wouldn't be fair, but i told him today that i needed to talk to him and he was kinda like whatever, i mean I do NOT want him back as a boyfriend, and would not care either way as far as a friendship but what i have to tell him is important and i need to tell him! so i have no clue what i am gonna do!
 Yuki Rei Ai · Tue Jan 09, 2007 @ 03:22am · 0 Comments |
