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I was going to type an entry on how hard the SAT was and how much fun I had in Bend after it was over with... but things have changed... so much...

My Great Aunt Bonnie from San Diego... she had been fighting breast cancer for the longest time... she was doing a little worse than normal recently, but she had had lapses before and come out fine, so I wasnt too worried...

But apparently I was wrong... I... I just found out that... that...

cry Why... why is everyone dying? Why do people connected to me die?? I might not even know them, and yet the fact that I know someone who knows them, they seem to die... over 5 years at least 8 of these people have died. Death is a natural thing, and I'm okay with it, but... so many... why so many? Haven't I grieved enough for a few years? Cant I have a chance to completely recover from one tragedy?! WHAT THE ******** IS GOING ON?!

I just cant... I cant handle this s**t... its so hard on my psyche... I dont know how long I can handle these things...