This is nothing...just....some things I need to write...
Even without a voice I think I've managed to piss people off today. I don't mean to....I really don't....but...three people I care an awful lot about tell me something's wrong but won't tell me what....and I....I just....I want to help...yet...I just don't get why they can't tell me. Then they tell me not to worry when they know full well that I will. Because....I do care. Yeah maybe too much. But I love them so sue me.
It's just...being such a crap week....I hate being ill...people just pick on you more and funnily enough you don't take it all that well considering you're feeling like crap in the first place. I do try....but....when you're best-friend starts yelling out in classroom that you've got a throat infection because you've been giving your boyfriend, the one you've been going out with for a week, head. You do kinda start to get a little bit upset considering you can't even argue back and they KNOW that and point it out. Constantly. So don't get angry at me if I start crying and run out the classroom and tell me I can't take a joke, I'm sorry if I don't like being reguarded as a slut by people?
Then...everyone else has got their problems...which is fine...I will always listen....but in turn....try listening back. I am not just someone who will just sit there smiling and nodding to make you feel better. Sometimes I do give advice. Don't tell me I'm crap and I have no place in telling them what to do, I'm sorry if I assume telling me your problems encourages me to give you some advice. I help because I care, because I want to help....not to make it worse for you. Atleast reguard what I say....
I hate being upset and angry people...and I feel like such a b***h today....because I think I pushed it too much today....and I feel so horribly guilty....I....it's just becoming frustrating when I'm on the sidelines to people's lives I care about most. I want to do something....I want to help....But I don't think those three people really know how much I love them...I'd die for each and everyone of them without hesitation....I....I would do anything. I wish there was some way to make them realise. I'm not expecting them to tell me everything...I'd never expect that of anyone...I just...when it's obvious they're hurting....I'm not just being nosey...The only time I am truely happy is when the people closest to me are. Lame maybe to you...but to me it makes sense....they're so important...
...I need Scotland...
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