Feeling: Somewhere between happy, grey, and suicidal. (Are those lyrics? They should be...)
So this weekend, I went camping, yes, camping, in Wisconsins 40 degree weather, but oddly enough it was fun, the cold was nothing compared to the bitter cold of my heart...
Psyche!
Hehe, you (my anonymous audience, which gladly didn't exist for last journal's update, which was all emo and such, thats so GAY, ugh...) wouldn't believe the good time I had, it was a great cap to put on an otherwise shitty week, I had a headache all week that no amount of pain meds could quell, ouch. But that is now over, done with, finito, I'm in a good mood, it's mostly happy times on the Menart ranch, except for the usual ********, which I hate a lil' bit of a lot. Let me list out my weekend, (which started off on friday, ooh, I AM a lucky one aren't I?
-Wake up at 6
-Get to Elkhorn
-Got my DRIVERS LICENSE
-Got to Oregon IL
-Set up tents, go eat lunch
-Night comes, frieken awesome haunted house at the middle of the night.
-Campfire, then sleep.
-Lots of wandering around a beautiful campsite, hiking alone, and the deepest of deep introspective thought while standing on the edge of a rocky outcrop overlooking a river at mid sunset.
-I was there for like an hour, it was possibly the greatest thing I've ever seen, I felt close to god, literally.
-Hike down towards river, nearly slips, could've died, no one but whoever reads this and I knows about that though, veeeery steep trail I went down, slippery rocks, not great for footing.
-Campfire, play a game called werewolf, the most fun group game ever, I love living at this point of the day, then sleep.
-Wake up to Jim cooking over the fire, eggs, sausage, toast n' such.
-We all go hiking, it was great, they're to slow for my tastes however.
-Driving around in the state park, I found a Geode rock, and broke it open, I'm bringing it to school tommorow, it's cool.
-Soccer, lunch.
-Home
That is the jist of it, good times had by all.
Meanwhile, in real life:
Not everything is quite so sunny everywhere, not at all, I've got this friend you see, she has s**t happen all the time in her life that just ******** up her chances at being happy in childhood, this ******** sucks, I wish I could do something, but what? I think if I had gotten just a little closer to god on that ledge, I might have shaken his hand, thanked him for existence, then slapped him a little, 'cause, to put it bluntly, that s**t 'aint right. I know about how we've all got this destiny, but the right here and now, which is important in life, sucks for her, damn it.
And so I'm demanding you help her out, God, right now, or you know, I can't do a damn thing to god really, but I won't be quite so happy with ya. If ever someone needed grace, love, and happiness, it is her.
In short, you're in my prayers, you.
Listening to: Cemetary Drive - MCR (The ones Jenny thinks look like vampires... silly sophmore, the correct term is nosferatu, mainly cause it sounds cool, and latin)
Oh yeah, it's
MATT (Get out your guns, grab that torch too...)
