I didn't expect to make another post so early. It seems I have more issues to speak of. But these issues just seem to be continuing. Like I'm experiencing the same problems or I'm failing or forgeting to solve them.
I looked back on a few other journal entries.. they also talked about me wanting to make people happy. But I'm not getting into that.. just pointing out I noticed.
I wonder if I have any disorders.. mental maybe.. I'd like a doctor to diagnose me once. But I hate doctors, I haven't seen one in two years I think.
So I used to think that I was useless.. and useless person. That my parents make feel this way. Well I feel like a little rebellious touch. I am not useless.. its just that my parents want to use me. They want me to be some sort of benefit. To bring them pride. Like the sex was worth it to create me.
Mother wants me to be successful and handsome and give her cars and clothes.
b***h.
Father wants to assure himself that I've got something special. Like I'm a genius so that it makes up for my odd behavior. He doesn't want me to turn out to be just a weird kid with average intelligence. He seemed very disappointed that my SAT scores were only slightly above the average range.
b*****d.
Some of you may read this and think, "They just want the best for you." No.. its not like that all the time. It isn't like they are evil beings only caring about themselves.. They just can't see that they are caring about theirselves.
So I'll say this. I am not your tool. I am your Prince. I am not your peasant and I am not your king.
I'm just a little pissed off... but not too much.
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