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well, can't say it wasn't always highly probable.
If you know me, you likely know the basics... I dont live at home, family hates boyfriend, etc etc... anywho, this journal is going to be a giant vent, because for the first time ever, I can actually honestly say... I hate someone.
and I want to cry. I want to scream, I want to hurt him, I want to make him pay...
my ******** father...
backtrack.... a memory surfaces. Once, while drinking merrily with friends, an aquaintance of mine, Boots, told me that my dad was always flirting and dancing with girls in the Blackhorse Pub.
I always knew he was a people lover, and I took no notice of it then. I didn't believe Boots.
Here's how I found out.
My boyfriend works in the Safeway gas bar. My godfather and old Neighbor, Kevin, came in to buy gas, and they talked for a while. Jason's co-worker, Heather, happened to recall someone like this... Mike, lots of kids, lives at the lake. So, when Kevin left, she asked Jason, "Is her dad a teacher at that school in abasand? does he drink at the Blackhorse pub alot?" Jason said "Yeah, why, you know him?"
She just laughed and said, "Oh yeah, that guy's a cheater!! Poor Sarah..." and chuckled a while about how much a cheater he was. Jason took no surprise in it... him and my father have never gotten along. He phoned me up and told me.
What the ******** do I do now?
Scenario number 1:
Tell all my family. My parents would divorce, my mom would have to get a job and go on welfare, to take care of the four kids that still live there. They would all hate me for wrecking the family.
Scenario number 2:
Tell my mother. She wouldn't believe it, and likely would disown me for good, then likely not long after, her curiosity would peak and she would look into it, and find out that it was true. then, knowing her, she would sadly resign herself to that fate and live her life withering away knowing her devotion isnt truly returned. SHe would die lonely and sad.
Scenario number 3:
Tell my father I know... but he knows that no matter what, If I tell anyone else, I'll be responsible for dissembling the family...
what the ******** am I supposed to do?
they need him...
but, he needs his reputation, doesnt he?
does the superintendant of schools want this sort of man teaching? Does his family want to hear such things?
I hate him... I hate him... I hate him... I hate him... I hate him... Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate...
THAT ******** MADE ME FEEL LIKE s**t FOR MY LACK OF FAMILY VALUES!!!
AT LEAST I FELT LIKE s**t!!!!!!!!!
********.
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