it still brings me pain, but I'm not ready for the loneliness
that is living without it. Living without the memory and love for them, of them.
![User Image](https://49.media.tumblr.com/821b392b8b94499427b8ba8f13fd5faa/tumblr_n9ituwrjkA1rmxm7po1_500.gif)
![User Image](https://67.media.tumblr.com/03a5cad606331b83864d1667980eefc8/tumblr_mvpdthL8uS1t08naco1_500.gif)
I envision them far away somewhere, maintaining a life now that I am out of the picture.
I have fantasized about their stories and the way that maybe, just maybe, I'll find them in someone else that I'll meet, someone new.
![User Image](https://66.media.tumblr.com/dcb41bebc140728a8b534c3ea75ade99/tumblr_ne8fn6S8tE1tvbnlko1_500.gif)
![User Image](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9dcb2609e22cda63245049f3de59c4a9/tumblr_nng4luEgOQ1rdrts4o1_500.gif)
![User Image](https://67.media.tumblr.com/0a04b5549a0717172f298ba3a5e8f47a/tumblr_nwhhu4vXz61s89mq8o1_500.gif)
when I am filled with fear about my future, I try to tell myself to slow down.
I know what I enjoy. There are a few things I want, I still remember joy,
and because I get lost in these little things,
I find something more. Something that often blacks out my skies.
![User Image](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5fffbde3ccefbb943bfc7d784c2db658/tumblr_nwhh1yyWg71s89mq8o1_500.gif)
![User Image](https://67.media.tumblr.com/262b5a4dd56d98c9496efdf54c3e3e9e/tumblr_o4rsytvZ321qckb0uo2_500.gif)
still, I find it more difficult to continue as I had before, when I relied
on their company and security within my soul.
I was a different person then.
![User Image](https://66.media.tumblr.com/1710678094d4630e2defda5ddf772451/tumblr_nrzw9tSO1n1rj540wo1_500.gif)
![User Image](https://67.media.tumblr.com/61d0c16bd27fd03a8f831e7ef3547b62/tumblr_nqfkhmGHv81qzco77o2_500.gif)
people from my past, or simply those that met me one year ago,
have said that I'm a different person now. I would have been more brazen
about admitting this fact... back in January.
I was filled with... fire.
![User Image](https://66.media.tumblr.com/572503c72c9842ce561ce327542ce701/tumblr_ncxl3lPX3a1txsyb1o1_500.gif)
![User Image](https://67.media.tumblr.com/1224d62d0c41c59874d8a87bb4f43690/tumblr_nre4mglbPK1s89mq8o1_500.gif)
I guess I neglected that I've always been of ice too.
I thought when they were gone away that these aspects of myself would disappear.
I forget at times that they were just, reflections of me.