Neo Chronicles: Black Void
Episode 39: This is Vulnerability
Table of Contents
My God, what did I see? It was terrible. Those screams. Those awful pale an' hollow faces. I can't close my eyes without seein' some alien dude with his mouth wide open, eyes closed shut, cryin' out in pain. That junk haunts you t'your soul.
I'm back in my room, sittin' on the edge of my table-bed, starin' down at the floor. My hands're at my side, an' I'm frozen stiff. I don't even realize that I'm grippin' tight on these bedsheets right now.
“It was real bad Mera,” I say. Yeah, Mera Ven Roew's in the room with me. I dunno how this happened, but she turned out t'be the only one on this ship I can actually confide in. An' you know me, I ain't about that life: sharin' feelings, talkin' things out, exposin' emotions – blech.
The whole concept's foreign t'me. I don't get why people do it, cuz it's pointless. You don't end up feelin' better about nothin'. At least I don't. So when I look up at Mera—who's now calmly approachin' me—I got no idea why I go on as I do.
“They tortured 'em,” I say. Mera sits down to my right. I'd normally fidget at the thought of another person makin' contact with my bed, but my mind's too in shock right now. I see her do it, but don't process it. “Alla dem.”
I place my hands over my face an' hunch forward. The images flash in my mind's eye again. They're fresh, like an open wound. Vivid, like a clear reflection in still water. Each flash is a different face. One face, a dog/snake thing of some sort. Another's a cat/bird. There's a lizard. I'm simplifyin' them like crazy. Animal people's all I can think of t'describe 'em as, but they was much more complex than that. Darn it, they deserve more. They deserve to be remembered more than jus' this.
“I didn't wanna watch,” I go on, “but I couldn't look weak, so I did. I watched 'em all. They didn't have t'do 'em like that.”
“I'm all too familiar with their ways,” Mera says. I feel somethin' on the upper side of my back. I peer over an' see her arm outstretched. Is she touchin' me? Is she pattin' me? What the crud is this for? “They're not good people,” she says. I see her look off t'the side for a moment.
I take t'my feet an' step a few paces t'the other side of the room. My hand rubs its way along my coarse, nappy head, an' stops as it reaches the back of my neck. I turn around an' look at her, sittin' on the edge of my table-bed. She's still lookin' t'the side. Her hand is placed on the wrinkled spot I was sittin' at from before. Don't think her mind's here right now. Her brows aren't crumpled or relaxed, they're jus' there. Her eyes are slightly narrow, as if she's caught starin' at somethin', but that somethin' ain't exactly doin' nothin'. Her mouth is closed, but not closed shut. She has a blank an' distant look.
“You ever do somethin' like that?” I ask.
She doesn't make eye contact with me, but she visibly reels at the question. I see her tug at my sheets. Then she loosens her grip. Then she sighs. Then she responds, “You get used to it.”
The room gets real quiet. I usually like my quiet spaces. Gives me room t'think. Problem is, only thing on my mind is what happened. My mind keeps playin' through it on repeat. Think I'm scarred for life. Don't think I'll ever shake it.
An' everytime I see the images flash, I feel less an' less attached. More removed from the situation. That's a bad thing. I'm too young t'be losin' my humanity out here.
Dang.
/*
I remember the dungeon bein' cold. I remember my suit makin' its adjustments t'keep me warm, but I could still feel the cold of it all. It was more of a mental thing. Everything was dark. Everything was murky. Everything was jus' a cold, empty, barren blue.
The last words I remember hearin' was FengRi sayin' some nonsense 'bout how they needed t'stay alive long enough t'feel pain. Even those words sounded cold.
I looked at the bodies lyin' out before us. They were wrapped in metal chains around their bodies. Their hands were cuffed in these big forearm-sized gauntlets. Their legs were bounded. Some were humanoid: two arms, two legs, a torso, an' a head. Some were quad-legged, like a roided-out centaur or somethin'. Didn't matter what shape their bodies came in, they were restrained all the same.
FengRi looked t'Rutra an' stepped outta his way. I looked at Scion, who was standin' next t'me. His hands were out in front of him, restin' in front of his lap. He was twiddlin' his long, skinny lil' bony fingers as he steeled himself for what was gonna happen next.
I had an idea of what was t'come, but I figured if I could jus' keep my eyes on the other dudes in the room, the thing wouldn't happen. Don't know what I was thinkin', but I got distracted from my distraction an' found myself lookin' back at Rutra an' the prisoners.
Then Rutra let loose. Got real up close an' personal. Knelt down in dude's face. This was the dog man. He was more of a wolf with thin spikes juttin' from his skin. Like porcupine hairs. He had a humanoid body. His eyes were fierce an' almost glowin' green. The snarl he let out as Rutra got in his face let me know how tough this dude was. He wasn't budgin'. He wasn't showin' fear. He was starin' Rutra right back in his face.
Rutra was unfazed by the wolf's stoic demeanor. He looked down at his pistol, turned a knob on it, an' pressed a set series of buttons. Then he got closer t'the wolfman's face an' whispered somethin'. Couldn't really make out the words—the buzzin' sound Rutra made overtook it—but the look on the captive's face said it all. The wolfman's eyes widened for a moment, an' his mouth opened up slightly. Then Rutra placed the barrel end of his gun on the dude's knee an' pulled the trigger.
Dude cried out loud. It was a piercin' shrill. High pitched an' everything. Struck me t'my core. I could feel his scream vibratin' in my bones. As he cried, the back of his head an' neck elongated, like there was a King Cobra fin stretchin' out. His spikes stood out on end, too. Then he immediately slammed his mouth shut. The rest of his scream was muffled. He wasn't gonna give Rutra the satisfaction of an outrcy, but the loud whimperin' dude made was enough t'make me close my eyes an' look away for a moment.
Then I heard Rutra say in a more audible tone, “Right now, the poison's makin' its way all through your body.” The wolfman was practically in a fetal position at this point. Rollin' on the floor, tryna keep himself from screamin' out like he did before. “First you'll go numb.”
The wolfman had rolled all the way back t'the back of the room, an' slammed himself against the wall behind him. Rutra made his way over t'him an' knelt down t'meet him on eye level. “Then you'll stop movin'.”
The wolfman lashed out with his mouth wide open. Looked like he was tryna bite Rutra's head off, but Rutra stepped back jus' outta reach.
After wipin' the flyin' saliva from his face, he went on, “Then it'll feel like a thousand tiny fire-tipped needles are slowly crawlin' through your flesh.” Rutra felt the urge t'slap the dude across his droolin' snout. The wolfman still didn't shout, but he definitely snarled an' growled.
“You'll be helpless” Rutra went on. “You'll be hopeless. An' tha funny thing about it all, not even I can stop it. You're going ta die a horrible death.”
*/
I look back up at Mera. “But I can't get used t'it!” I say. My arms are outstretched beside me. I hear my voice get louder. “I don't want to.” Then I pause for a moment.
This is one of those emotional moments I'm not too fond of. Don't get it twisted, doe. I'll get emotional all day 'bout anything. I ain't afraid of feelin'. But this right here is vulnerability. I'm sharin' my feelin's with another person. I close my eyes, an' place my enclosed fist over my nose an' mouth.
It feels cold in here all of a sudden. I know it's not. I know my suit's keepin' my body temperature right where I like it t'be. An' there is actual heat comin' in from the vents, too. So this feelin' of cold is probably in my imagination, but I still feel cold.
“Cuz if this's my life—if this's all I have t'live for now—then I'm screwed!” I look at her, dead on, hand over my chest, voice raised. “I'm gonna wake up some day, look in the mirror, an' not recognize who the crud's starin' back.” I keep lookin' at her, hopin' t'get more of a response.
Then I relax my stance. My shoulders loosen, I sigh deeply. Then I look up at the ceilin'. I shouldn't be starin' at the light. That's a bad idea. I look away an' back at Mera. My vision's outta focus, but she slowly comes in the right way.
She looks back at me with her eyes slightly widened. Her mouth's closed. There's no real wrinkles formed along her face. She looks stoic. She looks distant, but she's lookin' straight at me. Prolly lookin' through me. I can tell she wants t'say somethin'. There's somethin' on the tip of her tongue: probably some empty words, falsely assurin' me that my concerns are unmerited, but nothin' comes out. She doesn't say a word, an' the longer this silence goes on, the more upset I get.
I can feel myself gettin' angrier. My brows furry, my nose scrunches. When I open my mouth, the words come out forceful, an' passionate.
“Tell me I'm wrong!” I say. “Tell me this life ain't gonna change me!”
/*
By then, Rutra's made his way through three of the prisoners. They were all buckled over, restrained, an' moanin' in pain. Rutra was about ready t'move in on the fourth, but FengRi stepped up an' told him t'step aside.
Rutra seemed reluctant at first, but he yielded the floor.
FengRi looked at the three poisoned captives, then he looked at the ones who weren't. “Now Rutra's method of torture is slow. You can feel it.” I heard his knuckles crack. I heard one of the captives gulp. No, that was me gulpin'. My heart was poundin' in my chest, too. “They're still feeling it. And eventually they will die.”
Actually, the captive soldiers were doin' an amazin' job at keepin' their composure. The look of determination the soldiers gave was intense. Collectively, they all stared at their oncomin' assailant like G's. Harsh features, wrinkly mouths an' snouts. Crumpled brows. Narrow, piercin' eyes.
“There's a science to it.” The squishy sound I heard as FengRi punted ol' catbird in the gut. Reflexively, I placed my hand over my own stomach. An' watchin' FengRi continue kickin' the dude over an' over again almost mades me wanna throw up.
“Something of a chemical reaction that literally tears the body in on itself,” he said. Then he turned his attention t'the other captives an' started goin' in on dem, too. “At a certain point, you have to stop and take the time to respect it. I know I'm certainly taken aback when I watch the man work. He's really good at his job. As for me? I prefer the simple approach. There's not as much finesse when I work, but it gets the job done. Where our buggy companion specializes in carving out your own personal, private hell, I'm just here to break bones.”
An' he went on doin' jus' that.
*/
Now I'm seein' a reaction.
“Trust me, I know.” Mera's expression morphs into somethin' more passionate. “Remember, I was a cop! Years ago, in that other life, there'd be no way I'd allow these atrocities to commence!” She's been speakin' in her high voice this whole time, but as she raises the volume with it, the pitch becomes a lot more piercing.
“But at the end of the day,” She catches herself in the moment. I see her close her eyes an' sigh before goin' on. “You do what you need to get by.” She's back t'given me that empty, blank expression. “I won't lie and say it gets better—it certainly doesn't—but at least you're still alive. And one step closer to getting home.”
Now I don't know if it's the words, or the fact that she's got such a good handle on how she uses 'em, but somethin' about her makes me snap back.
“Home? Fo' real? You're gonna bring that up? How the crud am I gonna get there now? Carlos was my way out, an' now – It's like I got nothin' t'live for!”
“Don't say that. There is still hope for you. And you have the advantage of being in a position of power. You very well could change the tide. Just like you did already.”
/*
I had had enough. Before I knew it, I was tellin' everyone t'stop. I was loud. I was forceful. I made sure everyone in that dungeon of a place listened t'what I had t'say.
“C'mon guys! Say somethin'! It ain't worth dyin' over!”
Now I ain't no fool. I knew I couldn't jus' come out an' tell FengRi t'stop. I couldn't jus' come out an' tell everyone in the room how barbaric an'—truth be told—ineffective this torture thing really was. I knew my place, an' I knew theirs. So I came out shoutin' at the captives.
I didn't think it'd make a difference, but I had t'try. I had t'at least put the screamin' t'rest.
“Okay!” Someone spoke out. “I'll talk!”
FengRi backed off. The captive then went on spillin' his guts. In between him pukin' up blood, coughin', hackin' an' moanin' from all the pain he was feelin', he told us everything: how the government decided it'd be implementin' new policies t'crack down on crime, how they closed off certain warp gates t'limit travel. They even put word out that certain planets were loading spots when they weren't. Had whole fleets lyin' there in wait.
There was no spy. There was no drought. Jus' a well executed trap that took a few years t'come t'fruition. We jus' so happened t'fall into it.
*/
“And at that point,” Mera says, “they were ready to kill them, but you stepped in and changed that.” She's quick t'throw that last bit in my face. Takin' my own story an' turnin' it around t'back up her own point. But as I step back an' look at the whole thing in its entirety, it jus' don't hold up.
“That join or die crud?” I question. “C'mon Mera. Most of 'em chose t'die anyway. They knew this place was a hellhole. An' I couldn't even blame them.”
“But one didn't. You saved his life.”
“For all the good that did. Now he's jus' like all the rest of us. Out here floatin' in the black: tired, hungry, beat up, wishin' for somethin' that ain't never gon' come!”
“That's not even my point.” Mera interrupts. “The point is, you made a difference. You now have the power to make things happen, and you did just that. Very few are granted that privilege, so please, use it wisely. If you play your cards right, you could very well end up back on your world. You just need to stay strong a little while longer.”
“Fine! Alright, fine. But only if you keep me straight. I'm fo'real. I don't wanna lose myself t'this. Any time you see me steppin' outta line with what's right—with what's humane—I'mma need you t'call me on it. Seriously. I'mma need you t'counsel every step of the way.”
I see a grin slowly form along her snout. It's a devilish smirk, that quickly turns into a chuckle. The instance happens so fast that I'm caught off guard. My eyes widen, I raise a brow, step back slightly, an' ask,
“What's so funny?”
“I just find it amusing that just a few days ago, you seemed so annoyed to have anything to do with me. To do what you're asking of me, I'd have to actually get to know you. We'd be spending more time with each other. It's the irony of it all.”
“Yeah, I guess I can see that.”
“But I will help. Anything you need, I'll be here for you.”
“Cool,” I say. “Which brings me back t'the original reason I asked you over. Tell it t'me straight: is it a good plan?”
“It's a desperate one. I wouldn't entirely call it good, but as much as the others don't like to admit it, we're in a desperate situation. To be frank, no, it's not good. But it's the best one I've heard, and the others would be lying if they didn't say the same.”
“That works for me.”
Episode 39: This is Vulnerability
Table of Contents
My God, what did I see? It was terrible. Those screams. Those awful pale an' hollow faces. I can't close my eyes without seein' some alien dude with his mouth wide open, eyes closed shut, cryin' out in pain. That junk haunts you t'your soul.
I'm back in my room, sittin' on the edge of my table-bed, starin' down at the floor. My hands're at my side, an' I'm frozen stiff. I don't even realize that I'm grippin' tight on these bedsheets right now.
“It was real bad Mera,” I say. Yeah, Mera Ven Roew's in the room with me. I dunno how this happened, but she turned out t'be the only one on this ship I can actually confide in. An' you know me, I ain't about that life: sharin' feelings, talkin' things out, exposin' emotions – blech.
The whole concept's foreign t'me. I don't get why people do it, cuz it's pointless. You don't end up feelin' better about nothin'. At least I don't. So when I look up at Mera—who's now calmly approachin' me—I got no idea why I go on as I do.
“They tortured 'em,” I say. Mera sits down to my right. I'd normally fidget at the thought of another person makin' contact with my bed, but my mind's too in shock right now. I see her do it, but don't process it. “Alla dem.”
I place my hands over my face an' hunch forward. The images flash in my mind's eye again. They're fresh, like an open wound. Vivid, like a clear reflection in still water. Each flash is a different face. One face, a dog/snake thing of some sort. Another's a cat/bird. There's a lizard. I'm simplifyin' them like crazy. Animal people's all I can think of t'describe 'em as, but they was much more complex than that. Darn it, they deserve more. They deserve to be remembered more than jus' this.
“I didn't wanna watch,” I go on, “but I couldn't look weak, so I did. I watched 'em all. They didn't have t'do 'em like that.”
“I'm all too familiar with their ways,” Mera says. I feel somethin' on the upper side of my back. I peer over an' see her arm outstretched. Is she touchin' me? Is she pattin' me? What the crud is this for? “They're not good people,” she says. I see her look off t'the side for a moment.
I take t'my feet an' step a few paces t'the other side of the room. My hand rubs its way along my coarse, nappy head, an' stops as it reaches the back of my neck. I turn around an' look at her, sittin' on the edge of my table-bed. She's still lookin' t'the side. Her hand is placed on the wrinkled spot I was sittin' at from before. Don't think her mind's here right now. Her brows aren't crumpled or relaxed, they're jus' there. Her eyes are slightly narrow, as if she's caught starin' at somethin', but that somethin' ain't exactly doin' nothin'. Her mouth is closed, but not closed shut. She has a blank an' distant look.
“You ever do somethin' like that?” I ask.
She doesn't make eye contact with me, but she visibly reels at the question. I see her tug at my sheets. Then she loosens her grip. Then she sighs. Then she responds, “You get used to it.”
The room gets real quiet. I usually like my quiet spaces. Gives me room t'think. Problem is, only thing on my mind is what happened. My mind keeps playin' through it on repeat. Think I'm scarred for life. Don't think I'll ever shake it.
An' everytime I see the images flash, I feel less an' less attached. More removed from the situation. That's a bad thing. I'm too young t'be losin' my humanity out here.
Dang.
/*
I remember the dungeon bein' cold. I remember my suit makin' its adjustments t'keep me warm, but I could still feel the cold of it all. It was more of a mental thing. Everything was dark. Everything was murky. Everything was jus' a cold, empty, barren blue.
The last words I remember hearin' was FengRi sayin' some nonsense 'bout how they needed t'stay alive long enough t'feel pain. Even those words sounded cold.
I looked at the bodies lyin' out before us. They were wrapped in metal chains around their bodies. Their hands were cuffed in these big forearm-sized gauntlets. Their legs were bounded. Some were humanoid: two arms, two legs, a torso, an' a head. Some were quad-legged, like a roided-out centaur or somethin'. Didn't matter what shape their bodies came in, they were restrained all the same.
FengRi looked t'Rutra an' stepped outta his way. I looked at Scion, who was standin' next t'me. His hands were out in front of him, restin' in front of his lap. He was twiddlin' his long, skinny lil' bony fingers as he steeled himself for what was gonna happen next.
I had an idea of what was t'come, but I figured if I could jus' keep my eyes on the other dudes in the room, the thing wouldn't happen. Don't know what I was thinkin', but I got distracted from my distraction an' found myself lookin' back at Rutra an' the prisoners.
Then Rutra let loose. Got real up close an' personal. Knelt down in dude's face. This was the dog man. He was more of a wolf with thin spikes juttin' from his skin. Like porcupine hairs. He had a humanoid body. His eyes were fierce an' almost glowin' green. The snarl he let out as Rutra got in his face let me know how tough this dude was. He wasn't budgin'. He wasn't showin' fear. He was starin' Rutra right back in his face.
Rutra was unfazed by the wolf's stoic demeanor. He looked down at his pistol, turned a knob on it, an' pressed a set series of buttons. Then he got closer t'the wolfman's face an' whispered somethin'. Couldn't really make out the words—the buzzin' sound Rutra made overtook it—but the look on the captive's face said it all. The wolfman's eyes widened for a moment, an' his mouth opened up slightly. Then Rutra placed the barrel end of his gun on the dude's knee an' pulled the trigger.
Dude cried out loud. It was a piercin' shrill. High pitched an' everything. Struck me t'my core. I could feel his scream vibratin' in my bones. As he cried, the back of his head an' neck elongated, like there was a King Cobra fin stretchin' out. His spikes stood out on end, too. Then he immediately slammed his mouth shut. The rest of his scream was muffled. He wasn't gonna give Rutra the satisfaction of an outrcy, but the loud whimperin' dude made was enough t'make me close my eyes an' look away for a moment.
Then I heard Rutra say in a more audible tone, “Right now, the poison's makin' its way all through your body.” The wolfman was practically in a fetal position at this point. Rollin' on the floor, tryna keep himself from screamin' out like he did before. “First you'll go numb.”
The wolfman had rolled all the way back t'the back of the room, an' slammed himself against the wall behind him. Rutra made his way over t'him an' knelt down t'meet him on eye level. “Then you'll stop movin'.”
The wolfman lashed out with his mouth wide open. Looked like he was tryna bite Rutra's head off, but Rutra stepped back jus' outta reach.
After wipin' the flyin' saliva from his face, he went on, “Then it'll feel like a thousand tiny fire-tipped needles are slowly crawlin' through your flesh.” Rutra felt the urge t'slap the dude across his droolin' snout. The wolfman still didn't shout, but he definitely snarled an' growled.
“You'll be helpless” Rutra went on. “You'll be hopeless. An' tha funny thing about it all, not even I can stop it. You're going ta die a horrible death.”
*/
I look back up at Mera. “But I can't get used t'it!” I say. My arms are outstretched beside me. I hear my voice get louder. “I don't want to.” Then I pause for a moment.
This is one of those emotional moments I'm not too fond of. Don't get it twisted, doe. I'll get emotional all day 'bout anything. I ain't afraid of feelin'. But this right here is vulnerability. I'm sharin' my feelin's with another person. I close my eyes, an' place my enclosed fist over my nose an' mouth.
It feels cold in here all of a sudden. I know it's not. I know my suit's keepin' my body temperature right where I like it t'be. An' there is actual heat comin' in from the vents, too. So this feelin' of cold is probably in my imagination, but I still feel cold.
“Cuz if this's my life—if this's all I have t'live for now—then I'm screwed!” I look at her, dead on, hand over my chest, voice raised. “I'm gonna wake up some day, look in the mirror, an' not recognize who the crud's starin' back.” I keep lookin' at her, hopin' t'get more of a response.
Then I relax my stance. My shoulders loosen, I sigh deeply. Then I look up at the ceilin'. I shouldn't be starin' at the light. That's a bad idea. I look away an' back at Mera. My vision's outta focus, but she slowly comes in the right way.
She looks back at me with her eyes slightly widened. Her mouth's closed. There's no real wrinkles formed along her face. She looks stoic. She looks distant, but she's lookin' straight at me. Prolly lookin' through me. I can tell she wants t'say somethin'. There's somethin' on the tip of her tongue: probably some empty words, falsely assurin' me that my concerns are unmerited, but nothin' comes out. She doesn't say a word, an' the longer this silence goes on, the more upset I get.
I can feel myself gettin' angrier. My brows furry, my nose scrunches. When I open my mouth, the words come out forceful, an' passionate.
“Tell me I'm wrong!” I say. “Tell me this life ain't gonna change me!”
/*
By then, Rutra's made his way through three of the prisoners. They were all buckled over, restrained, an' moanin' in pain. Rutra was about ready t'move in on the fourth, but FengRi stepped up an' told him t'step aside.
Rutra seemed reluctant at first, but he yielded the floor.
FengRi looked at the three poisoned captives, then he looked at the ones who weren't. “Now Rutra's method of torture is slow. You can feel it.” I heard his knuckles crack. I heard one of the captives gulp. No, that was me gulpin'. My heart was poundin' in my chest, too. “They're still feeling it. And eventually they will die.”
Actually, the captive soldiers were doin' an amazin' job at keepin' their composure. The look of determination the soldiers gave was intense. Collectively, they all stared at their oncomin' assailant like G's. Harsh features, wrinkly mouths an' snouts. Crumpled brows. Narrow, piercin' eyes.
“There's a science to it.” The squishy sound I heard as FengRi punted ol' catbird in the gut. Reflexively, I placed my hand over my own stomach. An' watchin' FengRi continue kickin' the dude over an' over again almost mades me wanna throw up.
“Something of a chemical reaction that literally tears the body in on itself,” he said. Then he turned his attention t'the other captives an' started goin' in on dem, too. “At a certain point, you have to stop and take the time to respect it. I know I'm certainly taken aback when I watch the man work. He's really good at his job. As for me? I prefer the simple approach. There's not as much finesse when I work, but it gets the job done. Where our buggy companion specializes in carving out your own personal, private hell, I'm just here to break bones.”
An' he went on doin' jus' that.
*/
Now I'm seein' a reaction.
“Trust me, I know.” Mera's expression morphs into somethin' more passionate. “Remember, I was a cop! Years ago, in that other life, there'd be no way I'd allow these atrocities to commence!” She's been speakin' in her high voice this whole time, but as she raises the volume with it, the pitch becomes a lot more piercing.
“But at the end of the day,” She catches herself in the moment. I see her close her eyes an' sigh before goin' on. “You do what you need to get by.” She's back t'given me that empty, blank expression. “I won't lie and say it gets better—it certainly doesn't—but at least you're still alive. And one step closer to getting home.”
Now I don't know if it's the words, or the fact that she's got such a good handle on how she uses 'em, but somethin' about her makes me snap back.
“Home? Fo' real? You're gonna bring that up? How the crud am I gonna get there now? Carlos was my way out, an' now – It's like I got nothin' t'live for!”
“Don't say that. There is still hope for you. And you have the advantage of being in a position of power. You very well could change the tide. Just like you did already.”
/*
I had had enough. Before I knew it, I was tellin' everyone t'stop. I was loud. I was forceful. I made sure everyone in that dungeon of a place listened t'what I had t'say.
“C'mon guys! Say somethin'! It ain't worth dyin' over!”
Now I ain't no fool. I knew I couldn't jus' come out an' tell FengRi t'stop. I couldn't jus' come out an' tell everyone in the room how barbaric an'—truth be told—ineffective this torture thing really was. I knew my place, an' I knew theirs. So I came out shoutin' at the captives.
I didn't think it'd make a difference, but I had t'try. I had t'at least put the screamin' t'rest.
“Okay!” Someone spoke out. “I'll talk!”
FengRi backed off. The captive then went on spillin' his guts. In between him pukin' up blood, coughin', hackin' an' moanin' from all the pain he was feelin', he told us everything: how the government decided it'd be implementin' new policies t'crack down on crime, how they closed off certain warp gates t'limit travel. They even put word out that certain planets were loading spots when they weren't. Had whole fleets lyin' there in wait.
There was no spy. There was no drought. Jus' a well executed trap that took a few years t'come t'fruition. We jus' so happened t'fall into it.
*/
“And at that point,” Mera says, “they were ready to kill them, but you stepped in and changed that.” She's quick t'throw that last bit in my face. Takin' my own story an' turnin' it around t'back up her own point. But as I step back an' look at the whole thing in its entirety, it jus' don't hold up.
“That join or die crud?” I question. “C'mon Mera. Most of 'em chose t'die anyway. They knew this place was a hellhole. An' I couldn't even blame them.”
“But one didn't. You saved his life.”
“For all the good that did. Now he's jus' like all the rest of us. Out here floatin' in the black: tired, hungry, beat up, wishin' for somethin' that ain't never gon' come!”
“That's not even my point.” Mera interrupts. “The point is, you made a difference. You now have the power to make things happen, and you did just that. Very few are granted that privilege, so please, use it wisely. If you play your cards right, you could very well end up back on your world. You just need to stay strong a little while longer.”
“Fine! Alright, fine. But only if you keep me straight. I'm fo'real. I don't wanna lose myself t'this. Any time you see me steppin' outta line with what's right—with what's humane—I'mma need you t'call me on it. Seriously. I'mma need you t'counsel every step of the way.”
I see a grin slowly form along her snout. It's a devilish smirk, that quickly turns into a chuckle. The instance happens so fast that I'm caught off guard. My eyes widen, I raise a brow, step back slightly, an' ask,
“What's so funny?”
“I just find it amusing that just a few days ago, you seemed so annoyed to have anything to do with me. To do what you're asking of me, I'd have to actually get to know you. We'd be spending more time with each other. It's the irony of it all.”
“Yeah, I guess I can see that.”
“But I will help. Anything you need, I'll be here for you.”
“Cool,” I say. “Which brings me back t'the original reason I asked you over. Tell it t'me straight: is it a good plan?”
“It's a desperate one. I wouldn't entirely call it good, but as much as the others don't like to admit it, we're in a desperate situation. To be frank, no, it's not good. But it's the best one I've heard, and the others would be lying if they didn't say the same.”
“That works for me.”
