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It seems this feeling only comes from my parent's comments. So I guess they are the assholes responsible for making me feel in such a crappy mood.
Those who know me rarely ever see me in a crappy mood.
Once when my art class wrote what they thought of everyone else, a number of comments written to me were optimistic attitude.
So why is it that the things that gave birth to me are the ones who make me feel the most like crap?
They keep telling my I'm useless and making me feel like a failure. As if I serve no purpose to them. As if I'm suppose to be of use to them. Like I was created for their benefit. Or maybe they see my failures as their own. Like they just weren't good enough in raising me.
So basically I feel like s**t. Even though I know very well that a great majority of people are worse off than me. I am made to think that I'm not doing the right things. Or persuing the right path.
I get the impression I should be more perfect. It makes me understand why some Japanese schools bar their windows to prevent students from jumping out.
My distaste towards my parents make me want to scorn them some how. The best way to do so would probably become famous and share no wealth with them.
I think I've said it before but, I don't want much. I just want enough money to make me happy. I don't want cars, I hate cars. I don't want a fancy home. I'll settle for a shitty house, as long as I can sleep comfortably in it I'm fine.

Well I'll just have to find ways to make myself as happy as possible again. It can get my mind off things. A good way is to find birthdays of anyone I might admire. Then I'll just keep those birthdays in a calender. Holidays can really help us get along.