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chi0lea's journal
I don't want to remember you anymore... but you're like a god damn ghost

I found that note I wrote you long ago… The one I read you and your eyes lit up and you smiled… I stared at it for a long time…. Wishing I never wrote it….. Do I regret it? I regret it more then anything.. Wishing I could grab our tape and rewind it and erase the mistakes all the bends and the breaks all the lies and the smiles you so easily faked. I wish what I felt for you was fake but it wasn’t…. I could never lie and say that I’m better now… cause it’s not true… It hurts the most because I gave you my trust, put all my faith in us…

I remember putting songs together that made me smile when I thought of you and it made you smile right back… but I guess that was a lie..

When you touch me, it’s like the very first time. I’m so lucky to say you’re mine.

I still get those stupid butterflies, but it’s just what you do. I’m loving everything you do. You turn me upside down off the ground, god I love you. Yes sir, you came and took my breath away, my head is feeling a little light. All right? I hope you feel it too. The big rush I felt as you went in for a hug and our cheeks brushed.

Tell me, am I crazy?

Maybe I’m alone in this, but I find peace in solitude knowing if I had just one kiss, this whole room would be glowing, we’d be glowing.

I could lay here forever alone with you. I love everything you do, now that I meet you my world is so much bigger…

We’re living in a dream and endless fantasy…

It was all a horrible dream a fantasy that ended so soon.. Now I’m scarred…

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