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chi0lea's journal
I didn't want to believe any of it...
How I was used and thrown around...

Do you actually love me? Was every word that escaped your mouth a lie?

Why can't I get over you, each day you bring tears to my eyes. I can't take it.. I don't wanna remember
that I was there to watch us fall and learn that nothing's forever

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And now your secrets have come out, you justify my doubts
I gave you my trust, put all my faith in us
It's bound to rain inside your eyes
cause honey you've been caught, as the guilt multiplies
take a bow are you proud?
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The impressions you left make it hard to forget
It’s like you’re a ghost
Now all my picture frames are facing down
Cause I don’t have the strength to throw them out

I am scarred
From my head down to my heart
Where you aimed and left your mark
It’s all that I have to remind me you’re gone
It keeps me from moving on.
I want to move on, I want to smile again, I want to be able to look at the things I love and not see your face smiling at me like you would when you would tell me how much you loved me.
Why couldn't you tell me, looked me in the face like a man and tell me that you used me that I was a side chick that I meant nothing to you... But you didn't you didn't even say goodbye you left me to find out from your band... Now I don't know what to do I don't know how to stop the crying...
Raise your glass cheers to never looking back on this world we built together
All I’m left with are these open wounds that aren’t getting better
Cause it’s hard to forget
This damn hole in my chest
And the mess that you left when you left me
Now these blankets and sheets are like chains around me
And this bed is now holding me hostage
If there’s a will, there’s a way
But I can’t seem to find it
If I could then I would grab our tape and rewind it
And erase the mistakes
All the bends and the breaks
All the lies and the smiles
You so easily faked
And accept all the facts that you’re never coming back
And it’s brought me to my knees.

I was nothing, I'll always remain nothing. I'm stuck here thinking about you when you probably don't even care.. I'm scarred so bad, fake smiles can't even trick those around me. I hope to god you are happy and that you had fun, you will get what you deserve when this is all said and done. I don't know how and I don't know when.....
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Daniel Alexander Villa...... 03/22/2014 -1/22/2015

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