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There are seven kinds of men I love.
Seven kinds of men to find and seven kinds of men to hold.
It takes them time to grow up now that I am so old,
so old.

Last night I felt the power of the fire princess. Yes, I noticed before but I didn't take in just how much power she was consuming from the sun, from the summer fun. As we sit in the light and bathe in the passions of our youth, she grows. Usually the balance is mandated by online activities and various errands or taxing activities, meant to wear down her spirit. What would become of me if she were to burst into flame again? What if... that phoenix took to the sky again?

My ice empress and I fear greatly. Last night it was so terrible, the winds and darkness howling to her, that I heard voices and saw things that were not there. True, it was a stressful day and the things I saw were merely the tricks of the mind but it was still frightening. It was more powerful than the momentary fears that I have from time to time. I knew I was being childish and silly to fear things but it still grasped me by the heart and shook me like a doll. The winds... how they howled and groped for my soul. I couldn't even put my feet on the ground. I was scared I would run and keep running, to nowhere and no place. I would lose myself in the delirium that I created. The air around me can become so toxic...

I only truly fear now that there might be a repetition, and even worse that it would be in front of him again. I don't think he understood and I don't want to explain. I want to apologize but I know he'll just laugh and ask why. I know if I did apologize, I would want him to understand and I would end up explaining. Explaining that sort of thing is out of the question. After all, it's only the madness I force upon myself, no? ^^