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Well, it's been awhile since I've actually posted in this.
I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing.
I suppose in a way, it's good...
Not having to worry about anyone coming across this.

Lately, I've notice I'm starting to go back to my old ways.
Distancing myself from the people I care about.
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.
I don't want to lose anyone I care about but at the same time...
I'm scared

I'm scared that I'm going to end up caring too much and getting hurt again.
It's just seems like it's a common thing for me.
Trusting and opening to someone who I think "cares" about me.
Then finding out they never cared.
They only needed me for their own selfish ways.

I don't know.

Right now...
I just really want someone to talk too

But...
I can't.

I can't go running to someone and telling them how I feel.
I just can't.
I don't want to burden anyone.

I'm just being selfish

...

Well, I suppose for the next few weeks I'll limit myself
It's better to take a short leave and disappear for a bit.

At least then, I won't have to pretend to be "happy"

I doubt anyone would notice so it'll be easier that way.





 
 
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