Neo Chronicles: Black Void
Episode 5: Quo Vadis
Table of Contents
((Finally got around addin' another episode of my fantastic space adventure here. More are on the way. In the mean time, you can check out the Nexus story. Still in the process of re-workin' it. Up to episode 13. Check the table of contents. It's all there.))
I find myself in a place—a familiar place. My street. My neighborhood. My home. I'm out with my lil' sis, walking the sidewalk. Not much traffic out on the road, or in the sky for that matter. We just came from the movies. Jade and I may differ on a lot of things—music, games, TV—but every so often, our tastes overlap. So this movie—It had everything: action, comedy, a sense of adventure, urgency, crazy special effects—it was really in your face. We had a good time together.
Then somewhere down the line, as we're walking home, I get hit a strong sense of déjà-vu. I've been here before—I mean, yeah, of course I've been out walking before. There's not many ways you can head home from the movies on foot—but for real though. I've been here before.
This same scene, this same sidewalk, this same way, I remember it happening before. I remember.
And then I hear a sharp thud. And then my head hurts—like a lot. Feels like I just—dang, that hurts. What'd I—
And suddenly I'm awake. I'm awake on this hard floor, in a pile of somethin'. What'd I fall asleep on—some tools an' junk? Looks like that sword Ri'lar let me have is what hit me. I thought I—oh, it just fell over. Man, there's no space back here.
What typa space ship is this, anyway? Looks like a cargo truck or somethin'. This small lil' trunk in the back, and the driver seat up front. It's not as fancy as they make the space ships look in those sci-fi movies, that's for sure. It's just a glorified car.
How long have I been asleep? Has it been a day? Maybe it's been two? How do you tell time out here, just feel it? It feels like it's been forever. No, it feels like I'm lost.
Whatever, man. After lyin' around on the floor for what feels like another half hour, I decide to get up and move to the front. Might as well see what that ol' whale-face lookin' somethin' is up to.
“So where we headed, now?” I ask.
The dude is dead set on whatever he's doin'. What is he doin'? It sho ain't drivin'. I guess these things drive themselves. I hope they do, or else we'd be just sittin' here doin' nothin'. He's in the driver's seat though, but his eyes ain't on the road. I mean, sure, we in space an' all, but surely there's asteroids an' meteors an' comets we gotta look out for.
The dude's got his hands on some sorta device I ain't seen before. He's holdin' it like a book. Maybe it's his version of a PDA. Maybe it's a map. I hope we're not lost. Is we lost?
“Is we lost?” I ask.
Ri'lar still doesn't answer, so I make my way to the passenger's seat next to him. So many gizmos an' gadgets an' fancy buttons to press. Uhp—got his attention now—for a second at least. I look out the window monitor. Based on how fast the star lights is movin', looks like we goin' pretty fast.
“So how long we gon' be out here—I mean, uh. How long 'til you drop me back off home?”
His black, beady, dog lookin' eyes look my way for a moment. Then, he finally decides to answer.
“The blue planet?” he says in his deep voice. “Not for a while.”
A whole while? Well, that's just great. How long's a while, an' why I gotta wait for it? Not my fault this dude got caught up in some mess.
“Well, that's great,” I say. I'm sure he can pick up on how un-enthused about that answer I am.
He looks like he's startin' to feel sorry for me. That's sort've a plus, right? He's got feelings. He cares. He better care. He knows he messed up. “I'd rather not risk leadin' them to your world,” he says.
“Oh no, I understand. Completely understand. I hear ya. No need t'cause some alien invasion. That junk is fo da birds.” Imagine that. Me bein' the one to bring about the end of the world. Ha! “Speakin' of which—why hasn't—you da first alien I ever met. I mean, back home we always imagined an' junk, but—I guess what I'm gettin' at is—where you been?”
“I don't follow.”
“Aliens, man. How come you the first one? Why hasn't there been any others headed my way?”
“Oh, that.” He pauses for a moment. “Our ways are—well, to be frank, your world is rather...rural, compared to other worlds in the galaxy.”
“'Rural?'” I repeat.
“It's more like—well, it's like this. Each star system has its own way of life. It has its own systems, customs, cultures, and so on. When that star system becomes advanced enough to realize and communicate and travel to and with other systems, it becomes... recognized. When it's recognized, it becomes a part of the galaxy's government. What do your people call the galaxy you're a part of?”
“What do we call it?” Shoot, I know this. I should know this. Oh yeah. “The Milky Way.”
He pauses again. Don't know if he's searching for the words to go on, or if he was just caught off by the name. “'Milky Way?'” Guess it was the name. “Okay, well think of the 'Milky Way' as a collection of sovereignties, governments, nations, and such all being represented as a whole. I don't know how you work things on your planet, and I'm not all that into this whole political thing myself, but most places have something like that.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got you. I'm followin'.”
“So anyway. Until a system becomes recognized, any and all interaction from the other systems in the Milky Way is strictly prohibited from interfering in any way with it. No travel, no communication, nothing.”
“So how'd you manage to mosey on down?”
“I've already told you my story.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know all that, but with it bein' all against the rules to touch down on Earth, how—why'd—”
Is that a sigh I hear? Am I boring him? Is this annoying? Dude betta not be annoyed. He done came to my world, up in my home, breakin' his rules, 'cuz a somethin' stupid he did—no that's not fair. I should, we should stop. Dang, now I feel horrible.
“Nah, it's cool,” I say. “You probably had your reasons. I don't need to know.”
“It was by accident, I assure you.” He interjects. “My warp drive was damaged by my pursuers in a fire fight. I had no idea where I ended up.”
“And those gangbangers didn't care?”
“As you well know, they followed anyway. In spite of the laws, they came after me.”
Another quiet moment. I'm very interested in what he's thinkin' about now. I guess I can sorta imagine, but still. But whatever. Either way you look at it, I'm stuck with the ugly lug. I just hope I don't die or nothin'. I'm way too young for that. I got a home, a mommy, an' a sister. I don't talk much, but I got friends too. Chris, Noah, Kai, Lynn. Wonder what they up to. Wonder what they gon' think when they don't see me around. Shoot, what's my mom gonna think?
Some more time goes on, and I move back to my lil' hole in the back of the ship to sleep some more. Sleep's all that there is to do around here it seems. No video games or TV or computer—at least no computer for me. Just life on the intergalactic road. So boring.
We do eventually get somewhere. Manage to pull into the orbit of some white lookin' planet. It's kinda cool. Lookin' out below, I wonder who's all down there, how they act, what they look like an' junk. Was never one for travelin' back home. Was never one for gettin' outta the house for that matter. Everyone from school's always invitin' me to some party or get-together, but that junk ain't nevah interested me.
But this right here—this mess right here—yeah, I could get out for this.
Ri'lar tells me I need a change of clothes before we touch down. The clothes I'm wearin' now've been torn up, plus they kinda stink, so I guess he's right, but what is there to wear, and how will I know it fits? He points me to some closet lookin' section the ship. I see a drawer and open it. It's got a package—a bunch of packages—of some sort. I pick one up, look at it—no idea what it's 'spose t'be, or what to do with it.
Then the package starts beepin' an' vibratin' an'—surprises the mess outta me, I drop it, but out of it is some sorta suit. It looks baggy an' messy. Some un-ironed, blue, grey, an' black suit. Don't know what it's made of. It kinda looks like the black, grey, an' red spandex suit Ri'lar's wearing.
I pick it up, hold it up to me—it kinda looks my size. A quick change of clothes proves that to be true. I kinda like it. They're sorta like tights, but not. It feels comfy, I can move around in it freely. I walk back up front to show it off. Ri'lar tells me it scans the dude wearin' it and forms to the person. “Adaptive Wear” he calls it. I can dig it.
We pull the ship into the planet's atmosphere. All of a sudden, I can start feeling a heavy tug. Like the closer we move in, the heavier I get, the heavier everything feels. Then I hear a super loud boom, like an explosion. My ears pop. Got no idea what's goin' on, but I hold tight to my seat.
I look over at Ri'lar, and he seems perfectly fine. Just drivin' the ship like it ain't no thang but a chicken wang. Speakin' of chicken, I'm really hungry. I hope this place has better food than that bar. Don't think my body'll be able to ingest edible snot pies, an' booger shakes again.
The ride smooths out as we move closer to the ground. It's a big open space out in the desert. There's a bunch of other ships parked out here too, and let me tell ya, some of these ships look a lot more impressive than our bag of parts. Ain't even frontin'. One looks like a jet with four wings like an X. We land right next to that one. Another looks like a tank with all sortsa guns an' cannons stickin' out every which way. Another few look like somethin' on those supah old TV shows an' movies from back home—all smooth lookin' an' slick.
“Come on,” Ri'lar says, already setting off ahead on foot.
This place is weird. When I first got off the ship, it was very hot, like dat dry heat. I was about to burn up, but then all of a sudden, the suit I'm wearing did somethin', like it got a lil' bit lighter feelin', an' I got a lil' bit cooler too. “Adaptive wear” the dude said. Now I'm startin' to get it. We gotta get this thing back on Earth.
So like I was sayin', this place is weird. It looks like there're three suns in the sky. Two're blue, and the other's white. The white one's the one shinin' right above us. Makes the sand an' dirt an' sky look like a dismal grey. This whole place looks like some typa desert—a snowy desert, but it's hot. The buildings look few and far between. I barely even saw any other aliens. Just some fish lookin' thing back at the ship lot.
We end up walkin' to a teleport field. Hey, that's a teleport field! We got those at home. Like a door-frame with no door, but when you turn it on, you walk through, and it takes you to some other place. A'ight, that's what's up. We walk through, and when we come out, we're like dead in the center of some densely populated city.
Man, this place has everything. All sortsa weird lookin' creatures. Octopus people, aliens lookin' like piles of mud, sluggy, sludgy things with spikes, puffer fishy lookin' things, even some whale-face dudes like Ri'lar. As for the city itself, though—not too impressive. It looks backwards. Earth is way more advanced than this wild, wild west, cowboy, hicktown. I don't even see cars. The aliens are ridin' around on other aliens, and that's the very few who aren't walkin'. Frankly, everyone around here looks kinda poor.
Ri'lar leads me to some warehouse of some sort. The place is busy, like factory busy. Everyone in here is slavin' away doin' I don't know what as fast an' as best they can. I see somethin' that looks like an assembly line. I'm about to ask Ri'lar why we're here, but then some snake with arms an' legs, covered in a robe comes up an' greets us—well him. He sorta just looks sternly at me.
The two start talkin' about somethin'. Ri'lar musta turned his translator off because I can't understand a thing he's sayin', an' with that I quickly lose interest.
Then I see the snake thing smack Ri'lar across the face, an' I'm suddenly interested again. Looks like a heated argument. Ri'lar is gettin' chewed out. Then, while the snake dude is spittin' a hundred words a minute, he points his finger at me for a second. Ri'lar tries to say somethin', but the other dude ain't hearin' it. He storms off, an' Ri'lar goes off trailin' behind. I'm about to follow too, 'cuz you know, this junk is gettin' good, but somethin' else catches my attention.
Water? I see a water fountain out the corner of my eye, and just like that, I'm the happiest kid on the planet. I run as fast as I can to it. No one's in line, no one's waitin' up, it's all for me. Then I stop in front of it. Gazin' at it hopin' to God it's not a mirage. I reach out. I touch it. It works just like it does on back home. Water comes out of it. It's clean, it's clear.
Thank you Jesus, this planet has water! I stay there for a good five minutes. Takin' a few sips, then a few chugs. Stoppin' to thank the maker, then a few more chugs an' a few more sips. It's great. It's really, really great. Then I hear my tummy growl.
This place has water, maybe they have food too. Man, if there's some fried chicken on dis rock, it's all over.
I leave the warehouse an' head back on the streets. I'm walkin' around aimlessly, lookin' for somethin' like a restaurant or a grocery store or some typa marketplace. No idea where I'm goin'. Just a few minutes down the line, I got no idea where I came from either. That don't matta right now, though. I'm hungry.
I make my way through the crowds, tryin' not t'make eye contact. These dudes all sayin' some weird mess, but whatever. As long as I keeps movin', don't bump into anyone, it's all good. I make it to a bridge an' stop. Bridges gotta be bridgin' over somethin', right? I look over an' see some typa liquid, but it sho ain't no clean water. Dat junk is green an' muddy.
Well that sucks. I'm in a foreign place, got no idea where anything is, somehow got lost, an' I'm still hungry. Shoot, I wouldn't begin to know where to eat. I take a few steps back to look at that white sun up in the sky, an' without knowing, accidentally walk into someone.
Whoever that someone is, didn't take too kindly to that. I try to calm it down, apologize, help it onto its feet, but when he slaps my hand away with his tentacle arm thing, it's clear that he ain't takin' no charity. Another weird lookin' thing, actin' all weird. It's got a face on its chest, an' a lump for what should be its head. Three arms. Two on the side, an' one comin' from its back, an' the stubbiest lookin' legs I ever did see. Is it a dude? I don't even know. Could be a girl, could be both—or none.
“No trouble! No trouble!” I plead, but he don't know what that means. It's worth a shot. I try an' back off, because I really don't want a fight. I give it its space, but then all a sudden, three other dudes lookin' just like him corner me. “No trouble, man! No trouble!”
The chest face starts shoutin' an' screamin' an' actin' like a fool. The crowd walkin' by start to slow down to see the show. Got my back to the edge of the bridge. I'm startin' to wonder if I should jump jus' t'get outta dodge. I really don't wanna swim in green muck, though.
“It was an accident! I don't want any trouble! No fighting!” I try as hard as I can to plead my case. “Look, you ain't even hurt. Not like you dropped somethin'! Let's leave. No trouble!”
I left my sword on the ship, so I can't use that to threaten him an' his crew. Maybe if I just stand here an' let 'em beat up on me, they'll leave. It's not like they can hurt me or nothin'. So stay an' get beat up, or jump. Those are my choices. Neither very pleasant, but it's somethin'.
Then outta the crowd, another alien shows up. They showin' up like clockwork now. How in the world did I manage to tick off so many people. It really don't make no sense. Jumping is lookin' more like the thing to do. How far down is it, 10 feet? I'd probably land on my feet. Oh, but how deep's the water?
That new alien starts talkin' to chest face an' his crew. I really wish I could use this translator for more than one person. Ri'lar had to get the cheapest of all things. Stupid whale. From the looks of it, though, the new alien is calmin' chest face down. Whatever it's sayin', it's workin'. The three goons back up off me for a sec. Chest face gargles some alien noise an' then spits at my feet. Gotta say, I'm kinda insulted, but he and his crew leave after that, an' the crowd goes back on its way.
Then that alien—my silver savior walks up to me. It looks kinda slender. Not bulky or grotesque. Definitely alien, but still—the way it strides—it's got long arms an' legs, an hourglass like frame, a round head that has a tentacle thing growin' from it that looks like a ponytail goin' down to its waist. Is it a girl? It kinda looks like a girl. I don't think it has a mouth though—two black orbs for eyes with a face that forms a small snout like thing, but no mouth.
“Oh, so you're human.” It offers me a hand, and—me not knowing what else to do—take it and get up. Now if her—and it's definitely a her based on that voice—if her talkin' in Earth language—English for that matter—isn't enough to scare, confuse, an' blast the crap outta me, her—how do I even describe it?
The lady, she shapeshifts. Yeah, she shapeshifts, her body literally changes its form into a lady, a real lady, a human lady. Breasts—nice ones too—booty, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, auburn like hair, even clothes—earth clothes. Not some alien space suit, but blue jean shorts, a pink and black sleeveless shirt. She actually looks kinda pretty, y'know for a white girl an' all.
“What's your name, stranger?” she asks. Now, like I said, I am completely confused. Don't know what to say, don't know what to do, don't even know where I am, so I just stand there lookin' at her. Yep, jus' lookin' at her.
((So, there're shapeshifters out there, and apparently, the know how we look and how we talk. Word? Maybe she knows how to get you back home. Oh, you bet I'm gonna ask her. Check it out, next episode. Ending Theme))
Episode 5: Quo Vadis
Table of Contents
((Finally got around addin' another episode of my fantastic space adventure here. More are on the way. In the mean time, you can check out the Nexus story. Still in the process of re-workin' it. Up to episode 13. Check the table of contents. It's all there.))
I find myself in a place—a familiar place. My street. My neighborhood. My home. I'm out with my lil' sis, walking the sidewalk. Not much traffic out on the road, or in the sky for that matter. We just came from the movies. Jade and I may differ on a lot of things—music, games, TV—but every so often, our tastes overlap. So this movie—It had everything: action, comedy, a sense of adventure, urgency, crazy special effects—it was really in your face. We had a good time together.
Then somewhere down the line, as we're walking home, I get hit a strong sense of déjà-vu. I've been here before—I mean, yeah, of course I've been out walking before. There's not many ways you can head home from the movies on foot—but for real though. I've been here before.
This same scene, this same sidewalk, this same way, I remember it happening before. I remember.
And then I hear a sharp thud. And then my head hurts—like a lot. Feels like I just—dang, that hurts. What'd I—
And suddenly I'm awake. I'm awake on this hard floor, in a pile of somethin'. What'd I fall asleep on—some tools an' junk? Looks like that sword Ri'lar let me have is what hit me. I thought I—oh, it just fell over. Man, there's no space back here.
What typa space ship is this, anyway? Looks like a cargo truck or somethin'. This small lil' trunk in the back, and the driver seat up front. It's not as fancy as they make the space ships look in those sci-fi movies, that's for sure. It's just a glorified car.
How long have I been asleep? Has it been a day? Maybe it's been two? How do you tell time out here, just feel it? It feels like it's been forever. No, it feels like I'm lost.
Whatever, man. After lyin' around on the floor for what feels like another half hour, I decide to get up and move to the front. Might as well see what that ol' whale-face lookin' somethin' is up to.
“So where we headed, now?” I ask.
The dude is dead set on whatever he's doin'. What is he doin'? It sho ain't drivin'. I guess these things drive themselves. I hope they do, or else we'd be just sittin' here doin' nothin'. He's in the driver's seat though, but his eyes ain't on the road. I mean, sure, we in space an' all, but surely there's asteroids an' meteors an' comets we gotta look out for.
The dude's got his hands on some sorta device I ain't seen before. He's holdin' it like a book. Maybe it's his version of a PDA. Maybe it's a map. I hope we're not lost. Is we lost?
“Is we lost?” I ask.
Ri'lar still doesn't answer, so I make my way to the passenger's seat next to him. So many gizmos an' gadgets an' fancy buttons to press. Uhp—got his attention now—for a second at least. I look out the window monitor. Based on how fast the star lights is movin', looks like we goin' pretty fast.
“So how long we gon' be out here—I mean, uh. How long 'til you drop me back off home?”
His black, beady, dog lookin' eyes look my way for a moment. Then, he finally decides to answer.
“The blue planet?” he says in his deep voice. “Not for a while.”
A whole while? Well, that's just great. How long's a while, an' why I gotta wait for it? Not my fault this dude got caught up in some mess.
“Well, that's great,” I say. I'm sure he can pick up on how un-enthused about that answer I am.
He looks like he's startin' to feel sorry for me. That's sort've a plus, right? He's got feelings. He cares. He better care. He knows he messed up. “I'd rather not risk leadin' them to your world,” he says.
“Oh no, I understand. Completely understand. I hear ya. No need t'cause some alien invasion. That junk is fo da birds.” Imagine that. Me bein' the one to bring about the end of the world. Ha! “Speakin' of which—why hasn't—you da first alien I ever met. I mean, back home we always imagined an' junk, but—I guess what I'm gettin' at is—where you been?”
“I don't follow.”
“Aliens, man. How come you the first one? Why hasn't there been any others headed my way?”
“Oh, that.” He pauses for a moment. “Our ways are—well, to be frank, your world is rather...rural, compared to other worlds in the galaxy.”
“'Rural?'” I repeat.
“It's more like—well, it's like this. Each star system has its own way of life. It has its own systems, customs, cultures, and so on. When that star system becomes advanced enough to realize and communicate and travel to and with other systems, it becomes... recognized. When it's recognized, it becomes a part of the galaxy's government. What do your people call the galaxy you're a part of?”
“What do we call it?” Shoot, I know this. I should know this. Oh yeah. “The Milky Way.”
He pauses again. Don't know if he's searching for the words to go on, or if he was just caught off by the name. “'Milky Way?'” Guess it was the name. “Okay, well think of the 'Milky Way' as a collection of sovereignties, governments, nations, and such all being represented as a whole. I don't know how you work things on your planet, and I'm not all that into this whole political thing myself, but most places have something like that.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got you. I'm followin'.”
“So anyway. Until a system becomes recognized, any and all interaction from the other systems in the Milky Way is strictly prohibited from interfering in any way with it. No travel, no communication, nothing.”
“So how'd you manage to mosey on down?”
“I've already told you my story.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know all that, but with it bein' all against the rules to touch down on Earth, how—why'd—”
Is that a sigh I hear? Am I boring him? Is this annoying? Dude betta not be annoyed. He done came to my world, up in my home, breakin' his rules, 'cuz a somethin' stupid he did—no that's not fair. I should, we should stop. Dang, now I feel horrible.
“Nah, it's cool,” I say. “You probably had your reasons. I don't need to know.”
“It was by accident, I assure you.” He interjects. “My warp drive was damaged by my pursuers in a fire fight. I had no idea where I ended up.”
“And those gangbangers didn't care?”
“As you well know, they followed anyway. In spite of the laws, they came after me.”
Another quiet moment. I'm very interested in what he's thinkin' about now. I guess I can sorta imagine, but still. But whatever. Either way you look at it, I'm stuck with the ugly lug. I just hope I don't die or nothin'. I'm way too young for that. I got a home, a mommy, an' a sister. I don't talk much, but I got friends too. Chris, Noah, Kai, Lynn. Wonder what they up to. Wonder what they gon' think when they don't see me around. Shoot, what's my mom gonna think?
Some more time goes on, and I move back to my lil' hole in the back of the ship to sleep some more. Sleep's all that there is to do around here it seems. No video games or TV or computer—at least no computer for me. Just life on the intergalactic road. So boring.
We do eventually get somewhere. Manage to pull into the orbit of some white lookin' planet. It's kinda cool. Lookin' out below, I wonder who's all down there, how they act, what they look like an' junk. Was never one for travelin' back home. Was never one for gettin' outta the house for that matter. Everyone from school's always invitin' me to some party or get-together, but that junk ain't nevah interested me.
But this right here—this mess right here—yeah, I could get out for this.
Ri'lar tells me I need a change of clothes before we touch down. The clothes I'm wearin' now've been torn up, plus they kinda stink, so I guess he's right, but what is there to wear, and how will I know it fits? He points me to some closet lookin' section the ship. I see a drawer and open it. It's got a package—a bunch of packages—of some sort. I pick one up, look at it—no idea what it's 'spose t'be, or what to do with it.
Then the package starts beepin' an' vibratin' an'—surprises the mess outta me, I drop it, but out of it is some sorta suit. It looks baggy an' messy. Some un-ironed, blue, grey, an' black suit. Don't know what it's made of. It kinda looks like the black, grey, an' red spandex suit Ri'lar's wearing.
I pick it up, hold it up to me—it kinda looks my size. A quick change of clothes proves that to be true. I kinda like it. They're sorta like tights, but not. It feels comfy, I can move around in it freely. I walk back up front to show it off. Ri'lar tells me it scans the dude wearin' it and forms to the person. “Adaptive Wear” he calls it. I can dig it.
We pull the ship into the planet's atmosphere. All of a sudden, I can start feeling a heavy tug. Like the closer we move in, the heavier I get, the heavier everything feels. Then I hear a super loud boom, like an explosion. My ears pop. Got no idea what's goin' on, but I hold tight to my seat.
I look over at Ri'lar, and he seems perfectly fine. Just drivin' the ship like it ain't no thang but a chicken wang. Speakin' of chicken, I'm really hungry. I hope this place has better food than that bar. Don't think my body'll be able to ingest edible snot pies, an' booger shakes again.
The ride smooths out as we move closer to the ground. It's a big open space out in the desert. There's a bunch of other ships parked out here too, and let me tell ya, some of these ships look a lot more impressive than our bag of parts. Ain't even frontin'. One looks like a jet with four wings like an X. We land right next to that one. Another looks like a tank with all sortsa guns an' cannons stickin' out every which way. Another few look like somethin' on those supah old TV shows an' movies from back home—all smooth lookin' an' slick.
“Come on,” Ri'lar says, already setting off ahead on foot.
This place is weird. When I first got off the ship, it was very hot, like dat dry heat. I was about to burn up, but then all of a sudden, the suit I'm wearing did somethin', like it got a lil' bit lighter feelin', an' I got a lil' bit cooler too. “Adaptive wear” the dude said. Now I'm startin' to get it. We gotta get this thing back on Earth.
So like I was sayin', this place is weird. It looks like there're three suns in the sky. Two're blue, and the other's white. The white one's the one shinin' right above us. Makes the sand an' dirt an' sky look like a dismal grey. This whole place looks like some typa desert—a snowy desert, but it's hot. The buildings look few and far between. I barely even saw any other aliens. Just some fish lookin' thing back at the ship lot.
We end up walkin' to a teleport field. Hey, that's a teleport field! We got those at home. Like a door-frame with no door, but when you turn it on, you walk through, and it takes you to some other place. A'ight, that's what's up. We walk through, and when we come out, we're like dead in the center of some densely populated city.
Man, this place has everything. All sortsa weird lookin' creatures. Octopus people, aliens lookin' like piles of mud, sluggy, sludgy things with spikes, puffer fishy lookin' things, even some whale-face dudes like Ri'lar. As for the city itself, though—not too impressive. It looks backwards. Earth is way more advanced than this wild, wild west, cowboy, hicktown. I don't even see cars. The aliens are ridin' around on other aliens, and that's the very few who aren't walkin'. Frankly, everyone around here looks kinda poor.
Ri'lar leads me to some warehouse of some sort. The place is busy, like factory busy. Everyone in here is slavin' away doin' I don't know what as fast an' as best they can. I see somethin' that looks like an assembly line. I'm about to ask Ri'lar why we're here, but then some snake with arms an' legs, covered in a robe comes up an' greets us—well him. He sorta just looks sternly at me.
The two start talkin' about somethin'. Ri'lar musta turned his translator off because I can't understand a thing he's sayin', an' with that I quickly lose interest.
Then I see the snake thing smack Ri'lar across the face, an' I'm suddenly interested again. Looks like a heated argument. Ri'lar is gettin' chewed out. Then, while the snake dude is spittin' a hundred words a minute, he points his finger at me for a second. Ri'lar tries to say somethin', but the other dude ain't hearin' it. He storms off, an' Ri'lar goes off trailin' behind. I'm about to follow too, 'cuz you know, this junk is gettin' good, but somethin' else catches my attention.
Water? I see a water fountain out the corner of my eye, and just like that, I'm the happiest kid on the planet. I run as fast as I can to it. No one's in line, no one's waitin' up, it's all for me. Then I stop in front of it. Gazin' at it hopin' to God it's not a mirage. I reach out. I touch it. It works just like it does on back home. Water comes out of it. It's clean, it's clear.
Thank you Jesus, this planet has water! I stay there for a good five minutes. Takin' a few sips, then a few chugs. Stoppin' to thank the maker, then a few more chugs an' a few more sips. It's great. It's really, really great. Then I hear my tummy growl.
This place has water, maybe they have food too. Man, if there's some fried chicken on dis rock, it's all over.
I leave the warehouse an' head back on the streets. I'm walkin' around aimlessly, lookin' for somethin' like a restaurant or a grocery store or some typa marketplace. No idea where I'm goin'. Just a few minutes down the line, I got no idea where I came from either. That don't matta right now, though. I'm hungry.
I make my way through the crowds, tryin' not t'make eye contact. These dudes all sayin' some weird mess, but whatever. As long as I keeps movin', don't bump into anyone, it's all good. I make it to a bridge an' stop. Bridges gotta be bridgin' over somethin', right? I look over an' see some typa liquid, but it sho ain't no clean water. Dat junk is green an' muddy.
Well that sucks. I'm in a foreign place, got no idea where anything is, somehow got lost, an' I'm still hungry. Shoot, I wouldn't begin to know where to eat. I take a few steps back to look at that white sun up in the sky, an' without knowing, accidentally walk into someone.
Whoever that someone is, didn't take too kindly to that. I try to calm it down, apologize, help it onto its feet, but when he slaps my hand away with his tentacle arm thing, it's clear that he ain't takin' no charity. Another weird lookin' thing, actin' all weird. It's got a face on its chest, an' a lump for what should be its head. Three arms. Two on the side, an' one comin' from its back, an' the stubbiest lookin' legs I ever did see. Is it a dude? I don't even know. Could be a girl, could be both—or none.
“No trouble! No trouble!” I plead, but he don't know what that means. It's worth a shot. I try an' back off, because I really don't want a fight. I give it its space, but then all a sudden, three other dudes lookin' just like him corner me. “No trouble, man! No trouble!”
The chest face starts shoutin' an' screamin' an' actin' like a fool. The crowd walkin' by start to slow down to see the show. Got my back to the edge of the bridge. I'm startin' to wonder if I should jump jus' t'get outta dodge. I really don't wanna swim in green muck, though.
“It was an accident! I don't want any trouble! No fighting!” I try as hard as I can to plead my case. “Look, you ain't even hurt. Not like you dropped somethin'! Let's leave. No trouble!”
I left my sword on the ship, so I can't use that to threaten him an' his crew. Maybe if I just stand here an' let 'em beat up on me, they'll leave. It's not like they can hurt me or nothin'. So stay an' get beat up, or jump. Those are my choices. Neither very pleasant, but it's somethin'.
Then outta the crowd, another alien shows up. They showin' up like clockwork now. How in the world did I manage to tick off so many people. It really don't make no sense. Jumping is lookin' more like the thing to do. How far down is it, 10 feet? I'd probably land on my feet. Oh, but how deep's the water?
That new alien starts talkin' to chest face an' his crew. I really wish I could use this translator for more than one person. Ri'lar had to get the cheapest of all things. Stupid whale. From the looks of it, though, the new alien is calmin' chest face down. Whatever it's sayin', it's workin'. The three goons back up off me for a sec. Chest face gargles some alien noise an' then spits at my feet. Gotta say, I'm kinda insulted, but he and his crew leave after that, an' the crowd goes back on its way.
Then that alien—my silver savior walks up to me. It looks kinda slender. Not bulky or grotesque. Definitely alien, but still—the way it strides—it's got long arms an' legs, an hourglass like frame, a round head that has a tentacle thing growin' from it that looks like a ponytail goin' down to its waist. Is it a girl? It kinda looks like a girl. I don't think it has a mouth though—two black orbs for eyes with a face that forms a small snout like thing, but no mouth.
“Oh, so you're human.” It offers me a hand, and—me not knowing what else to do—take it and get up. Now if her—and it's definitely a her based on that voice—if her talkin' in Earth language—English for that matter—isn't enough to scare, confuse, an' blast the crap outta me, her—how do I even describe it?
The lady, she shapeshifts. Yeah, she shapeshifts, her body literally changes its form into a lady, a real lady, a human lady. Breasts—nice ones too—booty, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, auburn like hair, even clothes—earth clothes. Not some alien space suit, but blue jean shorts, a pink and black sleeveless shirt. She actually looks kinda pretty, y'know for a white girl an' all.
“What's your name, stranger?” she asks. Now, like I said, I am completely confused. Don't know what to say, don't know what to do, don't even know where I am, so I just stand there lookin' at her. Yep, jus' lookin' at her.
((So, there're shapeshifters out there, and apparently, the know how we look and how we talk. Word? Maybe she knows how to get you back home. Oh, you bet I'm gonna ask her. Check it out, next episode. Ending Theme))
