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Okay, not all of this happened today but I will include today's moment as well after getting past emotions posted.

Finding wicca, for me, wasn't quite like coming home. It was more like moving out of the house you were raised in and finding that house that you know will be a home to you. I use this analogy cause I was raised as a baptist, and knew nothing about there being other religions out there. I was at a lost and felt an empty void inside me, then I learned about wicca and when I began to understand the meaning behind it, it was like opening the door to a house with a pleasing appearance and finding everything I could need or want for the layout.

Once, while at a river that is really too big to be called a creek but too shallow to really be a river, I was just standing and taking in the view. This was in the fall, and a breeze came along and stirred up the leaves as they fell in a large group. It was such a moving moment that it felt like I had been kissed by the Goddess. I felt nothing but peace, joy and love in this moment.

Some time later, for the first time, I saw energy in a group of trees. I wasn't looking for the energy, I just happened to notice it. For anyone else that has seen this, you understand how fascinating it is to look at. If you'd like to see this, the best time is during dawn or dusk, make sure the sun isn't behind the trees and gaze at them. A cluster of trees, like the edge of a small woodland, will give better results, but if you look hard enough in the branches you can see it in a single tree to. You'll notice an oddity that is .. well indescribable.

The night before last, I came out of class (I take some night classes in college) and happened to look at the moon. For the first time I realized I could not only see the part of the waxing moon that was giving off light, but the other part as well. Noticing the dark part of the moon was new for me, and I still go outside to look at it since it's so new. It's breathtaking to see. Next time the moon is out, take the time to have a look at it.

Finally, we're on today. I've only touched the most significant moments over time. There were others, but as my journal has been lost many times, so were the entries. I've had; hard copy, a notebook and composition book and digital copy, word pad. Hard copy was always lost, damaged, or probably stolen and trashed, digital copy always got lost when the computer crashed or something. So Now, with an online copy, then hopefully no matter what happens I should always have this available to me.

So anyways, back to today. There's a bench behind the main building of campus (only two buildings), and I don't know why there aren't more. I went to the back of the building, mainly to sit down while I smoke my cigarette. The view was breathtaking! I knew about the pond, and the trees behind the building, but this was the first time I'd seen it in full bloom! The grass was grown up about knee high, with wildflowers scattered among it, the trees were covered in leafage and filtering the sun a little causing patches of light to land on various places. I felt a strong connection to Pan during this time and was very tempted to walk among the beauty. What stopped me was the thought that it was beautiful cause it was wild and untouched (at least as far as the eye can tell) and to walk in it would change that.

So, as you can see. I'm starting to understand the whole "Closed mouth, open senses" that was said to me long ago. Greatest advice yet. And now, it is night and I want to go look at Mother Moon now that I can fully see her even though she's still waxing.