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Its all coming back to me, all these thoughts of that word. The one where you never existed. I have all these old memories that I found so sad, they aggrevate me. They make it all worse, it makes me sad though. All these other moments. All these things I did, so stupid, stupid. I'm stupid. I'm fat, I'm ugly as f. I hate feeling like this, but the worst thing I can see from all this is I'm actually beginning to believe it and internalize it. I couldn't tell anyone anything. They just don't understand.
I'm tired of feeling as if the people I consider friends hate me, I hate the feeling, and when I have this feeling it doesn't help the fact I see them everyday.
I'm so done with these feelings, I'm tired all the time. I don't want anything to do with civilization. Nothing at all. Make it all go away. See, I've actually been thinking of writing this for 2 hours. And now here I am trying to poor all my feelings into an entry how many people will read? I'm not sure and I'm all going to guess no comments either, just because how many of my entries have comments, espiescally the ones like this, where all my problems are laid out and no one can help me cope.
Take away these damn thoughts and feelings. All I want.
•Beauty and a nice figure
To stop feeling so inferier to everyone else, to stop being called fat by my relatives and parents friends, to stop being looked at like a ugly b.
• Taller
• No sh!t
• Nothing to make me feel like this anymore.